And so...the Truth be Told

There will always be at least two sides to a story, but most probably three, because depending on the nature of the story, the truth may be lying in between.  I may have my perspective on a matter and I express it as I want to and in such a way, that I am able to get my view across and although it may be almost true, I could manipulate it slightly, to ensure that I get the right reaction from you.  On the other hand the person receiving the information may formulate a response and again, just short of replying with fact only, they add in that bit of emotional pull, to strengthen the point.  What results is a watered down version of the truth and ends up being a fraction of what started out as a genuine intent to communicate some truth, or point.  I guess that this occurs more regularly with people that tend to ponder questions and answers instead of answering straight away, because it gives more time to cover every angle and it means that taking views or comments, at face value, becomes very difficult.  Some would say this is a cynical approach and it is better to have the ability to answer immediately and without thinking, because that is the closet to the truth.  Some would jokingly say, it is better to ingest some alcohol before going into a discussion, because the drink will lower your ability to rationalise an argument and the truth will be spilled out far quicker. But I have also come across people who with substance in them come out with induced responses that are so elaborate and so far from the truth that I just don't  think that this is the way to get the true version.  Men and woman of faith also call on the Lord and in particular the Spirit to reveal the truth and that the true words will be said, but there is not always time to meditate or pray when someone is spilling their version of the truth and you need to dissect and answer immediately.  So it is then that the truth lies often like a mystery and is not always revealed straight away and in other times it is right there, but because it is so obvious, we tend to decide that it just can't be correct and we go round and round looking for it, while all the while it is in plain sight.  Sometimes the truth is just too painful and sometimes it comes at a price.  But when on rare occasions, the 'stars align' and the heavens are exact, it is an amazing experience for someone to reveal a truth, followed by a truthful response and sitting right in the middle is still the truth.  On those matters life important decisions can be made, friends are secured for life and memories are made.  Though it is very difficult to achieve this all the time, the effort to reach it, should be on the forefront of every meaningful conversation we have.

Raise a Toast to the Year you have had!

Many smaller businesses labour under a fundamental flaw in thinking.  They believe that they are merely small versions of big corporate firms and they should employ the same methods and strategies as their much larger counterparts.  In the last year I have gained some insight into the fact that being a small setup, affords so many more opportunities to run effectively and without unnecessary red tape and people issues.  A powerful calling and the persistence of a superhero, are more of the qualities needed to reach a goal, than huge profits and pre-existing customer bases.  The small business affords one the freedom to explore and be flexible to change.  It allows for quick decisions and exploring new visions without having to sell the idea to several departments, committees and shareholders. Yes it may be true that the road to success is not always as visible as in a big firm, but once a set of core values is established, the path to get there is potentially so much fun.  Checks and balances are still possible, to ensure continuity and to give clients and customers the peace of mind that you are no fly by night and their work is in capable hands, but once the work is available, the way to process it and deliver the end product to a happy customer should be a truly rewarding experience.  Mistakes will be made, so getting feedback is essential and to gather information of your service, what is happening in the market and adapting to set backs, is meaningful even or especially in a small firm.  Give the client what they really need and have fun doing it and the results will surely follow even if it takes a few more years to get there.  Celebrate the victories and every year of staying in business and never loose sight of exploring bigger opportunities when they come your way. 

A year in the life of ...

How much difference can a year make in a business, or in our lives.  If we just ponder how things can change in an instant, such as an earthquake, then how much can change in a whole year.  Perhaps this is why we need to commit fully to every day and leave nothing in reserve, because every change could be the spark to greatness and every opportunity taken, may be the next link towards a complete success, or the ultimate change to a better life.  We need to pursue every endeavour with passion and be bold in what we want to achieve, because a year from now, we may have gone so much further than where we started today.  Of course there will be days in a year where it would seem that we have actually regressed and we could easily be back where we started, but it makes no sense to look merely on what today has offered and think that because it did not go as planned, that we have gone backwards.  It may be a day of moving sideways or shifting gears to the next step or recharging our batteries ahead of a move in the right direction.  It is more important always to ensure that when told that  we are biting off more than we can chew that we respond by saying that 'we would rather choke on greatness than nibble on mediocrity'.  Be inspired by whatever is your muse to take your goals and dreams to the next level and dare to have the guts to seek greatness in all you do.  This does not mean being insensitive or failing to care when it really matters, but it means showing the resolve and determination to build our future one block at a time.  We will be truly amazed to see what we can accomplish in 365 days and the number of smiles and blessings we can gather with an attitude towards serious, strategic and significant success.

Sweet Dreams are made of these

Have you ever been asked "how did you sleep?" and the question is returned with the answer "no not great I was having a dream".  Dreams are only thoughts you didn't have time to think about during the day.  Maybe you are a person that can recount a dream fully and your dreams are vivid and clear, while others seldom have the ability to recall that which they have dreamt.  But usually, for all of us, you are never eighty in your dreams.  Dreams have singular purpose and meaning in our lives and they certainly can come true because without that possibility nature would not incite us to have them.  We all have them from time to time and no matter whether they can be regained fully or not, dreams are there to prompt us and guide us and even encourage us.  They do not occur merely when we go to sleep at night and awaken the next day to recall something that happened in our dream and wonder how this could be meaningful to our life.  Dreams happen when we are awake as well and we begin to ponder ideas and thoughts, which we want to achieve.  A dream becomes a goal, when action is taken towards its achievement.  It is important to have both goals and dreams, but too often people say that you may be able to achieve your goals, but dreams are a fantasy, which cannot be achieved in real terms.  I attended an art exhibition today by Nathan Sawaya where he started as a lawyer just going home at night and starting to build with Lego pieces as a means of fulfilling a yearning or dream and this persisted, until he actually began to create art with the Lego, building some of the most lifelike and real art pieces.  In order to realise his dream, he focused not so much on the success of it but rather on the significance of it and so even the small steps and little victories along his path began to take on greater meaning, until today where, he is able to build pieces of more than 80 000 blocks.  Even the most obscure dreams can be converted into real and measurable goals and with the right encouragement and a little bit of luck, we may truly reach that which we have wanted for a long time.  Live your dreams don't just have them.

The Opposite of Negative is ....

Some thoughts on being positive - when all about you is dragging you down - hopefully we can learn from this and take something into this next week.  The positive thinker sees the invisible, feels the intangible and achieves the impossible.  I guess the opposite is just as true in that a negative thinker actually feels invisible, feels frustration and depression tangibly and seldom achieves anything which is seemingly impossible.  He is happy to get what he deserves.  Instead of thinking about all that you may be missing, try thinking about what you have that everyone else is missing.  We are unique and talented in our own way and we have been placed in this realm of the universe to serve a purpose and see the kingdom here on earth, even as it is in heaven.  A positive attitude may not solve all your problems, but it will annoy enough people to make it worth the effort.  Many people are happy if we are down and miserable because that way we are neutralised and ineffective.  They thrive on the fact that they can distract us and hold us from our true calling, even using friendship, common interests, emotional distractions and manipulative circumstances to play on our feelings and gain enough grip in our lives, that we are kept away from what is truly in our future.  Some people are always grumbling because roses have thorns.  We need to be thankful that thorns have roses.  Success lies very close to the place where people around us are telling us that there is no way and what we are endeavouring is beyond possibility When you are in a valley keep your goal firmly in view and you will get the renewed energy to continue to climb.  If you are sure that your goal is worth the pursuit, then hold your ground and humbly and quietly give thanks, that the true result will emerge from your efforts and that a happiness you only dreamed of, is more tangible than you think, if you will merely reach out and grab hold of it, not with fingertips, but with hands of steel and a grip so strong, that no one can wrench it from you. Robert Kennedy said, "some people see things as they are and say why? I dream things that never were and say why not?"

Only the Paranoid Survive

I would like to explore this saying and whether in fact this may be true.  To some it may seem really negative or pessimistic and perhaps would seem that the message is to rather live in fear and trepidation of the future instead of capturing all that life has to offer.  Probably trying to insulate yourself from pain, or hurt, or mistakes, is impossible at the  best of times, but staying on top of things, whether in business or in your personal life, can certainly in my view pay some dividends.  In business we look at our competitors and what they are up to in the market, we consider what is happening with our current customers and we plan to target certain new clients, all in an attempt to protect our business, from potential failure or closing down.  We will rather take on too much work and then moan about the fact that we are working too hard, than to have too little work and wonder at the end of each month, if you will have the resources to get to another month. Similarly, in our personal lives, we tend to be circumspect and will rather stick to our comfort zones and happy place instead of boldly living in a manner, that we truly desire.  We will make compromises and "changes", so that we avoid unnecessary pain, or frustration and we always think that things will get better and are so concerned what others may think or say if we go down another path, so we just keep insulating ourselves and hope that by keeping doing what we do, the paranoia will ease and we will be OK.  In business, we seldom think that if we do our work in a different way, we can in fact improve our turnover and the nature of our business.  So too in our lives, we are not convinced that if we try something different it will bear fruits, but many a successful business and people have actually acknowledged, that they needed to approach things differently and having done so, they begin to thrive and grow and gain new territories and actually come through the phase in a happier and stronger place.  We often have to leave our emotional attachments or existing ways of doing business, at the door and get on with new developments and different passions and this can actually result in the business, or person finding a better chance at success in the future. We need to have a clear vision and tell those around us whether personally or in writing, what we feel and what is needed, to go forward and this will lead to better and healthier implementation.  Once new territory is gained, it is important to remain open for criticism and not take it too personally and especially to make sure that our egos do not get in the way of where the vision leads us.  A flexible team creates a far more trusting environment and once trust is gained, it is better to stick with it, even if it means no longer trusting what you once thought was the only path to success. Life like business is complex  and we need to prepare for multiple and unknown scenarios, but survival is assured, if we have ingredients of trust, faith and a willingness to follow a different path in the pursuit of happiness and success, every now and then.

Waar daardie sug val sal geen iets grooei nie!

As a South African I am deeply concerned about the state of our country at this time.  As we head into another long weekend with much time to contemplate the affairs of our state, it must be said that what continues to persist in this country, in terms of service delivery, violence, fraud, corruption, and mismanagement is just too much to swallow, without a massive sigh.  Because what is to become of this nation and its youth, amidst this chaos that we live in daily and seem to get used to or accept.  Trying to establish successful business practices are so difficult to achieve with stupid provisions like BEE, Quotas, Fica, Fatca, etc when there is so little integrity in the basics of the market place. Our currency is up and down like a yo-yo, because our utilities are killing us and how many more CEO's of parastatals suspended with full pay, or replaced, must there be to realise that there is no control from the top and our system and its people are a joke.  I sigh heavily when I look at the loss of life in this country and not just with xenophobia, but with daily living, a complete lack of feeling for the basic of all rights, namely a right to live.  The country is awash with criminals, high up on the corporate ladder and yet little, or actually nothing is done to rectify the situation. It is not just foreigners dying every day but South African drivers, useful farmers and innocent children and teachers.  It is disgraceful how little value is being placed on life in general .  Personally I am also so bored and irritated by questions of race in this country, when most of the ever growing youth of this country, were born into a new democracy and have no part in the apartheid history.  It is time for the adults to start acting as such and to remind the youth that they were born into a country of fresh hope and opportunity and that they should protect it, instead of pillaging and stealing from the system.  It is time to work and make something of this place and stop blaming history for all the "screw ups", when every day we reach new heights of stupidity and reckless governance.  This country will never thrive under maladministration, corruption and incompetence.  It needs a daily reminder and a daily sigh to settle us down and commit to working towards a future, that is stable, safe and secure. So on this upcoming Workers Day, maybe we don't need to attend work in the normal sense, but we all need to attend a self help course in becoming more tolerant of life and less tolerant of incompetence, help to educate the youth and step by step to regain a semblance of normality to this country.

Say thanks to the real I am!

I AM are two of the most powerful words because, whatever you put behind them shapes your reality. You can state that you are down, or sad, or angry, or frustrated and the fact of the matter is with enough belief, you will end up as such.  Of course one needs to be realistic about what we think we are - it is no good I say that I am Jordan Spieth at the Masters, when I can hardly put a swing on a golf club.  Placing unrealistic expectations on others or one's self, is counterproductive to say the least and can only lead to depression and lack of self worth.  It is better to feel realistic, but positive about one's image and to take hold of that which we believe, can be a reality.  So too being negative after the words I am can be truly destructive.  There are many people in bondage and living with great negativity, due to the continual use of the words "I am miserable", many who suffer fatigue because that say "I am tired" and many who are ill because they are constantly "sick and tired".  It may be merely an utterance, but what if there is merit in remaining positive, using positive speech and growing in your belief that, that which you so desperately want and which you are convinced will be achieved, is in fact a few utterances away from happening.  There may be a few disappointments along the way, like "I am sure that ESKOM will keep the lights on", but with enough belief and support from those that really do care about you, and a strong belief in the real "I AM", you will be able to hurdle life's challenges and live to say I AM HAPPY!

Your life is served Sir!

Life is so ironic.  Alanis Morissette said it best with her song Ironic years ago with examples like "a black fly in your chardonnay", and "a death row pardon 2 minutes to late"and "Mr. Play it safe was afraid to fly, he packed his suitcase and kissed his kids goodbye, he waited his whole damn life to take that flight and as the plane crashed down he thought well isn't this nice...".  Our life passes us by sometimes and we, as the participants, are sometimes totally oblivious to the fact that it is happening right before us.  Maybe people close to us can see what we don't and every now and they then they may be brave enough to tell us, but largely we fly through our days and weeks and months and years until a moment comes (or maybe a series of moments) that makes us gain perspective and wake up to the reality of what life is dishing up for us.  For example, it takes sadness to know happiness, because we can only truly feel the one, when we have learnt to deal with the other.  We make comparisons based on how we feel at the time and how we have felt in the past.  Maybe we can recall a time when we sensed joy and fun and good feelings, and this should and can really help us to deal with whatever our current feelings may be.  It also often takes noise, to appreciate silence, we rush around and have so many noisy interactions with people, that we struggle to remember the peace and quiet and yet when we do have an opportunity, to remain quiet and enjoy the silence, we ironically break it with a stupid comment, or a meaningless statement.  Furthermore, it takes an 'absence' to value 'presence'. How true it is that we get comfortable, with a set of circumstances in our lives and we daily execute those tasks and deal with those situations; our expectations are raised and we come to get used to the fact that the things we consider dear are just there, but only when they are no longer there, whether temporarily or on a more permanent basis, do we truly understand the value of them and what impact they have our life.  Irony is not merely cynicism, it is not being overly harsh about our frailties and having unfair expectations, it is merely a pointer from above that "life has a funny way of sneaking up on you, when you think everything's okay and everything's going right, and life has a funny way of helping you out when you think everything's gone wrong.  So enjoy the Irony.

It is in the Label.

Labels - the world is full of them.  You are either happy or sad or successful or struggling.  We tend to identify others by what they say or do and we express opinions constantly about their well being or their flaws or how they come across.  If someone yelps out in public then they must be loud or if someone frowns then there must be something that is bothering them.  Labels are not meant to be left on the clothing after we buy them, they are in fact intended merely to indicate an aspect of the purchase and then once we have elected the item, based on criteria like price, size, and sometimes make, then we take the item home and strip off the label for once and for all.  Once we have taken off that label the goods are our own and we end up with the item and the full responsibility for it.  It is then up to us to take care of the item as our own and giving it back, when the label is gone, is not really an option.  We categorise people that we know and meet by labelling them and we make presumptions as to the state and nature of their being without truly knowing what they are about.  We are trained and educated to spot things in others and either to associate with them because they come from the right family or social circles, or we label them that they are worth knowing because of achievements or that they have money or power or stature.  But the reality is that we forget too easily that the label is the item that is discarded when we buy an new dress, so why attach so much value to it.  We keep the dress not the label.  Rather let the dress show itself and what it is capable of.  Give an opportunity to someone when really the labels tell you not to.  Take the chance on something which is not labelled possible or probable.  We can always play it safe because the label says it is fine cotton and will not shrink when washed, or we can occasionally buy that item that is unexpected and do that thing which is just a little out of character.  It makes us human and dispels the notion that we are categorised and shaped and labelled before the full picture is revealed.  Life is far too short to be a series of labels - rip them off and take hold of the thing you have just acquired and make the most of it by putting on life and living it.

Steady on Captain!

Anything to do with darkness in our country today is highly topical, bearing in mind the state of our electricity utility.  But when the dark clouds of doubt, anger or worry begin to move upon you, STEADY yourself in the knowledge that in time the storm will pass.  But will it really? or do we have to make ready for something else.
S - Sensibility this is being realistic about your circumstances and not hoping for something that may never happen.  It is committing things to writing and meaning them and it is choosing words carefully and thoughtfully, so that they make sense in the long and short term.  It is not saying what you think people want to hear and not hearing what you want to hear, but actually being clear on what your expectations may be.
T - Truth is paramount to our future and having the guts to be true to ourselves, is more important than we think at the time.  Nothing is more important than this and seeking the truth is a worthy and noble pursuit notwithstanding the consequences.
E - Empathy to others and to yourself is very important as well because we need to ensure that we are willing to let people that we trust, into our lives and hearts and that we can count on them to deliver makes life so much easier, when the storm clouds pour in.  We are not perfect in ourselves, but we need to be reasonable and having people that are willing to be honest and yet still accept us and take our side, when we need it most, is a crucial part of a total life.
A - my favourite Attitude again is what it is all about , accepting the things we can't change and though the 'other route' looks more difficult, sometimes we just have to mount up the courage to take it, if we know it could end up in the sunlight.  Doubt, anger or worry is seldom absent entirely but our reaction to it can be consistently positive and focused on happiness.
D - Dedication and Discipline are key ingredients to riding out any storm and although they are not without challenges they are certainly helpful tools.  Look around at the people that are there daily and those that want to be and take example from the people that show discipline in their lives, because you will know that when it matters and when times are hard, they will stay steadfast and have your best interests at heart.  Maybe they are not so flamboyant, or loud, or egotistical, but they make it their business to get the job done and as long as they are given a chance to show their worth they can be true giants in weathering a storm.
Y - you or yourself make up the essential requirement for riding out a storm because you need to be in it to get through it.  Taking yourself out of conflict constantly and thinking that you will not encounter storms is false hope, but once you are willing to put yourself in the mix and follow the path to a better and more rewarding place, you will find that the storm clouds disappear as quickly as they came and you are left once again in the basking sunlight, healed and confident and happy.

Don't Sweat the Small Stuff

What attitude do you need to get the most out of life.  You won't get any closer to your goals if you work yourself constantly without allowing time for a balanced life.  It is hard in a relationship when sometimes you want different things to give you that time of relaxation, but I guess the best thing is to start where you are and where you can.  You have to stop living for other people and follow your own will.  We can sometimes work ourselves into a place of unhappiness because of trying to please others.  The more we stop doing what we think other people want from us the less stressed we will feel and we can be true to our goals and our true self.  You don't need people to do things with you to make you content, but certainly the right people with you will make the experience that much better.  You can put a lot of time into making others happy and still end up feeling empty inside - it is better then to put more effort into your self to at least feel some happiness.  This will help you to still focus on the things that matter most.  Perhaps a random act to help someone else and even writing a letter to someone you care about or telling someone that you are grateful for what they do can make a difference also.  Bottom line is though to treat yourself well and others will benefit in time.  Because our thoughts determine our attitude, we need to consider our thoughts and how they affect our reality.  We end up living our thoughts so we can train them and confront them in such a way that things can be a positive success.  You may even think that something is impossible or very unlikely, because that is the common response or experience forgetting that with the right attitude you may in fact be able to have that "unattainable thing".  You may not always be able to control the outside world, but you can control what happens inside your life. Make time to relax and hopefully you will also be with people that encourage you to take a few moments to clear you mind, like a trip to the gym or the shops or good coffee.  Life should not be an emergency.  Focusing rather on the things you appreciate rather than on the things you want to change will help you to get closer to your happiness.  So make that call to a friend or do something that makes you happy.  By focusing our attitude towards our life situations we can change our lives one day at a time.

Silence is Golden

Silence it is said may also be an answer.  It may not be the answer that people like or want and it often freaks people out because they have to have you say something but I do believe that is effective at times.  I learnt today about Aaron, brother of Moses, who had 2 sons who through their exuberance, got too close to the holiness of God, that they died.  Aaron upon hearing the devastating news, chose in that moment of pain and suffering to be silent and to deal with his loss.  And it was said that this silence, in Gods presence, was actually credited to him and thus we can presume that God in fact appreciated and respected his silence.  So perhaps there is something to be said for the ability to be silent and not to speak or have to speak all the time.  Time to reflect and be still should be compulsory around some situations and having time to reflect instead of having to or feel compelled to come up with answers, can be very fulfilling. How often we are expected to give a comment or say something, when someone else talks to us.  They want us to respond and deliver pearls of wisdom and information, but really they are unprepared to confront the giant when we give them an answer.  Through our words they are seeking their own comfort or looking for something we say to either give them hope or confirmation or even maybe something that they can use again in the future.  However, there is a real healing power in the silence as Aaron found out and less misunderstanding or incorrect assimilation of facts, when we resist speculating with words. Waiting for the truth in the silence can be an almost audible voice, pointing us to where we need to be, or where we are headed.  Silence may be the very thing we need to get over a loss or contemplate a decision or deal with a crisis and to spoil it with unnecessary and misplaced or misconstrued words, is a waste.  Embrace the silence and take the time to fully appreciate the little blessing of a golden silence.

Don't cry for me Argentina - Just Smile

There is nothing quite like a proper show of emotion.  Whether it is in the form of a hearty laugh or a decent cry, both have an effect of cleansing the soul and reminding us that we are vulnerable and emotional beings.  It is obviously not nice to laugh at someones demise or their hurt and certainly not to show a lack of sensitivity, but laughing with someone as opposed to laughing at them, can be truly spontaneous and refreshing.  It is a bit like a sneeze - there is little point in trying to hold it in when really it wants to come out as is. It used to make no sense to me, when I read articles that said that woman look for the quality in a man who is able to make them laugh and it seemed liked that was pretty arbitrary, but as I get older (and obviously wiser) it would seem that in fact this is a quality, sought after and one which counts for a lot in a relationship, because living with stress and worry, means that there needs to be an outlet and laughing becomes something that can truly shared and appreciated when all about seems to be closing in on us.  It is easy to loose the ability to burst forth with laughter and yet when you experience it, it really does open the soul and you feel alive.  In the same way, ironically, the opposite quality of crying seems to have a similar effect.  Early articles I read (and that means Men's Health again) used to talk about whether men should show their emotions by crying, or was it really only sissy's that cry.  Woman seem to be ambivalent as to whether their man should cry.  Yet crying, at an appropriate time and place, seems to be hugely beneficial to the soul and can also bring healing and rejuvenation to our lives.  Crying is after all just another form of emotion and a way of expressing feelings, not just of sadness, with which it used to be identified only, but also certainly of anger, frustration, and even joy.  It is truly human to be able to let out our emotions from time to time and to find expression in these opposite, but effective expressions of human emotion.  Those that can express themselves by tears or laughter seem better adjusted to dealing with whatever life has to give and to share these priceless moments may well be something, not to be scoffed at as cynics would do, but rather admired and cherished.

Caring is Sharing

Controlling your own direction is better than being controlled by it.  How often we are controlled by our circumstances, the situations that happen to us and the people that we interact with.  Do they inspire or encourage or are they simply there to frustrate us and make our lives more complicated, or unpleasant. How frustrating it must be to be part of a corporation that does not think about the individual but only about the bottom line.  Imagine waking up every day knowing that there is nothing you can do to change the culture or the profits or the logo of the company.  There is freedom in doing what you are passionate about and people thrive when they are given the scope to grow and make their own decisions.  I guess that is what attracts business man and women to creating their own brand and why people want to be in control of their own destiny.  Certainly very little support can be expected from our government and it is thus up to individuals to raise their flags and not white ones of surrender but war flags to take on injustice and unfair practices and unhappy relationships, and to look for ways to keep producing and growing and affording opportunities.  We might have to work a little harder and longer hours but service levels are increased and the customer or client ultimately gets the benefit, but so do the proprietors, because they have a vested interest in something that is theirs and which depends on their commitment and desire to succeed.  No one can take that freedom from your working day or the joy of a committed relationship and it is a blessing indeed.  So next time I think that I am overworked because my load is too great or find that I am unhappy with my lot or aspects of my life,  I would be wise to hold my tongue and look at the immense positives to owning a business and sharing a life with people that care.  

Fluit Fluit my Storie is uit!

Here are a few worthy sayings to remember around speaking.  "When you have nothing to say keep your mouth shut" or "don't speak for the sake of speaking" or "put a guard on your tongue" or "stop opening your mouth to let your belly rumble" all permutations of the same theme; the lesson being to be careful to speak unnecessarily and to make sure that when we speak we do so with facts and less about ourselves and more to be an encouragement to others or to give real value to the conversation.  If we cannot do so then the mantle is to rather say nothing and to listen more.  We all like to hear the sound of our voice thinking that we can be a sage or anointed preacher because we have so much knowledge about life.  However speaking continuously actually negates people's  opinion of you being smart or intelligent and rather places you in the category of 'annoying man' trying to impress.  It is sometime very difficult to hold back the words and yet other times we wish that we had rather kept quiet.  It is so important to learn the skill of listening far more than speaking and very few people understand the value of being silent.  In social circles the quiet person in the room is always asked "why are you so quiet?" or 'are you cross?' Some people are just naturally talkative and express themselves truly when they are speaking.  Others cannot help themselves and have to comment somewhere in a sentence and still others, when given the stage, will talk for days if allowed.  Finding the perfect balance makes you a better friend or confidant because the person may actually give you a chance to bring your point across, rather than being there to change the subject and interject because you are hogging the conversation.  Be wise when giving advice and when asked to do so, always leave your emotions at the door and put the other person in the spotlight, to see what they need instead of being selfish in taking the centre stage and forgetting that the person who may be needing good advice is now having to endure your voice.

If you are ready put your life in Drive!

In life we should take nothing for granted.  Especially the things that matter and which make a difference in our lives.  We all know our responsibilities to our health and family, but I am adding to this equation, also those that mean something and the opportunities we get over a lifetime of working situations.  We should never underestimated the importance of friendships and contacts and what they mean, nor should we take for granted that they will always be there.  Situations may change and circumstances unrelated, may have an ultimate effect on the relationships which is why, it so important, to recognise the value in good relationships and to ensure that they are worked on and reinforced.  It may be a cliche to state that relationships are hard work at the best of times, but this is more than true when "the chips are down" and a crisis comes.  This is the time when friendships get tested and it is a healthy and positive result if the friendship is strengthened and relationship grows even in the midst of a crisis.  Real honesty and integrity can be a very painful and hurtful space, but there is little point in sweeping the matter away, when you know deep down how important it is to you.  You can try to remain neutral, but sometimes things happen that make us shake off neutrality and enter into the contest.  What results may not always be pretty or comfortable, but certainly our stance can make a visible difference to the people around us.  Neutrality for the sake of peace keeping or responsibility to ensure that others don't get hurt may be a safe option, but it is also not necessarily the way to achieve change.  Stepping forward and towards your dream or belief, is the first step, but continuing to do so is living life.  Keep in balance only the things that are necessary and don't hang onto that which you cannot change even with the best intentions.  Some things are meant to be, no matter which way the dice rolls or the bell tolls!

Come on Baby Light my Fire!

There are four basic elements in the world, namely earth, fire, air and water.  The earth can be a good symbol for grounding ourselves and making sure, that we master the basics.  It may be that we make several mistakes and we could think of several fancy theories, to justify or fix the problem, but sometimes the obvious is more to actually focus on the mistake and the missing detail, than the perfect solution.  Taking time to consider the mistake and how we got to it, may present a number of solutions.  For example, Edison said after he discovered the light bulb, that the 10 000 attempts he made, were not mistakes, but rather 10 000 ways that did not work.  Before you become too critical of yourself, take a moment more to consider what may be hidden in the "failed results" and you will find, there may actually be some positive elements.  Because people are so afraid to fail, they end up never even trying in the first place.  So much useful information can come from the uncomfortable feeling of failure.  It is like fire, which is mesmerising, but can actually be painful, when it burns.  If you become realistic about a new venture, or task and don't think automatically that you will succeed at the first attempt, it may help you to deal with the first failure, in a more positive manner.  It is not such a shock or too painful to try again, so you can do it next time with more confidence. It is a bit like conducting a 'stress test', it will reveal the strengths and  weaknesses that exist.  Like air, which provides clarity and focus, asking the right questions will help us to be more effective in finding solutions to annoying problems. A very good question might be, 'what is my reason for doing this in the first place?' - it may open you up to discover that you have been spending time in the wrong areas as is.  So new ideas may be born, which are symbolic of the element of water, which flows and takes us on a new course, or journey. The journey may take a long time and be a meandering process, but keep looking for new ideas and remember the key advice, the height of insanity may very well be doing the same thing over and over and expecting a different result.  If you really want your life to change, the best thing thing may very well be to "change it".  Instead of just thinking about it and even rambling to friends and family about it, actually do something about it.  All you need is a willingness and to stop questioning the risks and begin, knowing that it may take several changes in the end to make the result definitive, but having centered your ideas, finding some confidence that you can reach the goal successfully, having cleared your thoughts, so that they can flow from a starting point to an end result, will ultimately mean that if you do change, it will certainly be a success.

Follow the Leader.

Are you a person who goes with the flow and simply lets things happen as they do, or do you try to make things happen, or shape the way things turn out?  Are you someone that chooses to accept things as they happen, or are you willing to engage and not simply accept things that you are not satisfied with?  The best of leaders will seldom let things just go, and they realise the importance of excellence and the fact that you should get what you pay for and not simply accept poor service, or unsuitable performance.  They know the value of not just working hard, but also of insisting on receiving value and service because that is what they deliver to their own industry, or chosen career.  It is not acceptable to merely let things slide, when there is either a cost, or a principle involved.  Leaders are to be admired for this sort of attitude, because it shows strength and a dynamic resolve, when it comes to a decision, or purpose to be followed.  Many times we are faced with a choice to do something about a problem, or simply back away and often those that choose to question, stand their ground, or show a steely disposition, are the ones who get criticised and told 'why do you have to make a thing about that again'?  But mostly deep down, they are admired, because we look at the situation and we realise that they have made a difference to the situation and through their testing and steadfastness, they get what they want and deserve.  I'm not saying that it has to be done in a critical or arrogant manner, but a decision maker, can achieve what they need, without raising their voice or tearing down another.  They can speak with authority and the key ingredient is honesty, to say it like it is, in a manner that makes you want to throttle them, but you are compelled to do what they request.  I admire leaders that can achieve this and the respect they get is fully deserved.  They know when to be politically correct and when to show their discontent, they deal in facts and they don't fall prey to speculation and opinion, they are direct and do not deal in beating around the bush and they get results instead of feeling begrudged, because they did not achieve, what they expected to get.  Find a person like this and you know that they are going to make a difference in their sphere of influence.

Stop look left and right!

It is fascinating that in life you can sometimes prepare and plan all you like, but things change and the path becomes blurred.  No matter how you believe in one thing and think you have certainly, life can take you down another path which is unexpected.  All the planning and dreams in the world may not be able to stop the change.  You may even in the midst of the change, be thinking how and why is this even happening, or surely this is not possible.  You may think that the road you had established was so clear and certain and that you have relative peace that your life and its progress is comfortably worked out.  You may have even seen this small change in direction and ignored it for some time, believing that it is just a distraction, but somehow this path keeps making an appearance and you begin to wonder why this path is becoming a bit of a 'thorn in your side'.  You hesitate to consider whether this is actually a path, or if perhaps your eyes are not so good and have deceived you.  You may even see the path more clearly, but you just don't believe that this new direction could be possible because your main path is so clearly marked and visible in lights.  There is doubt and uncertainty, but a little curiosity and excitement.  You begin to consider the opportunities and option of the new path and you count the cost of your thoughts and the possibilities spread over a lifetime. You realise that there may be costs, consequences, collaboration, consolidation and lack of comfort. You need to spend enough time considering the path, but your main path is so busy and congested and you can hardly stop for a minute.  Allow yourself the time to digest what you have done to now and how you are better equipped, than when you first started the journey.  See good in the people and circumstances that have got you this far, don't be too critical of yourself and the mistakes you have made.  Remain humble and don't give up the core of who you are at this point.  But should you decide to make the small path, which is growing ever brighter, a true possibility, then make sure that you bundle up everything you can and with the same passion and commitment, start making your new path, the one which will eventually broaden and light up your life to happiness and success.

Roll on Friday Please!!

The news yesterday could only be described as scary in South Africa and I think that the Horror channel on DSTV would have been more comical and fun, than what was appearing on the news channel last night.  It started with increasing violent protesting in Cape Town, Durban and Johannesburg which was staged by political motives, when shacks are erected purposefully on land which is not available for occupation legally and then the police and authorities are left to tear them down, thereby making them out to be the bad people, but there is clearly political staging going on and the colour of the shirts is visible for all to see.  Moreover statues are being defaced and UCT late last night, agreed to take down the Rhodes Statue.  All over SA these statues, which have stood untouched through the change in our country and have happily made it for 20 years in democracy, are now all of a sudden the reason why apartheid is still alive.  What utter rubbish!  I think Steve Hofmeyer, although not cutting a dynamic political leader was right in his statements, that this attack on monuments is merely utter racism in reverse and another attempt to blame the current humongous mess, which the ANC is causing, on the whites and on apartheid.  Time to catch a wake up and realise that the idiots running this country feel nothing for the country and they have placed a figure like Malema in this position, to make trouble on their behalf so that they can still appease the masses and fool them into believing that the EFF is the cause of the trouble.  For a party with a bankrupt, sequestrated leader, they seem to find resources all over the place (how do they buy the paint) and this comes from the government and ultimately our coffers. Then to make matters worse, we have the most undignified press conference, to welcome the biggest madman into the country and to watch Mugabe and Zuma on one stage, was the most embarrassing thing I have seen, since Madonna falling off the stage.  Mugabe has the audacity to poke at us about Rhodes and apartheid and land grabs when the buffoon has decimated his country economically, socially and politically; and our esteemed fool of a president stands next to him nodding, because he knows that the only agreements being signed this week, are to ensure that this country goes the same route.  And finally I had to listen to the tragic story of the road deaths on the weekend and how the reason for this is that south africans don' t care about each other; not the illegal vehicles on the roads (that's you taxis), the massive amount of drivers without licenses and police that are too busy dealing with internal issues to truly make a difference - no we are told the reason is because drivers are jealous of each other and don't care for each other.  A truly tragic week.  Thank goodness tomorrow is Friday.

Kaptein span die seile!

How does one counter a lack of purpose or belief in what you are doing.  It is said that perhaps the best way, is to undertake a quest, to give your life a sense of purpose and to find a greater cause in the pursuit of happiness.  Even  a failure in a quest may be more helpful than is first thought, because it gives perspective and information about the right path to ultimately take. A quest could help us out of daily tedium, it may help to make us more empowered, or confident, or self sufficient.  Even a small victory in a quest, may help us to start wondering what else we could achieve.  We need to be careful though, that a single quest, is not the answer, because it may be that at the end of the quest, we feel a little sad and down that it is over, so unless we have another quest in the wings, it may leave us incomplete.  So as you embark on a quest, make sure that you start thinking about the next thing in the process of life and where you would like the next quest to take you.This way you will always have a sense of purpose in your life.  Take on a new challenge with the idea of breaking into something new, don't be grandiose in your idea to impress, but look for small and measurable results.  Don't just launch into a quest without having spent time thinking it through, considering the consequences and bouncing the idea off the right people.  As you journey through your quest, accumulate experience and make use of every opportunity.  Enjoy the experience of enlightenment and do not rely on others to fulfil your quest - you make it happen and those that support you, will remain in your life to join on the next and the next and the next quest.

Wrong information or no Information!

We often think we are better than we actually are and we look for ways, comments and means to find justification for our pre-existing beliefs.  We tend only to notice a few things around us and in front of us, but we don't know how to make absolute judgements.  We think we are doing the best in a situation, but end up hurting those around us, because we place more emphasis on having our own needs and desires met, to be able to prove that we are as good as we believe that we are.  Because of this, our decisions are often guided by emotions and the way people around us are behaving, meaning that if someone is saying and doing the right things around us, we tend to buy into it, because it makes us feel good, but the moment someone ventures to offer an honest opinion about us, we are often affronted and either react or simply shut down, in a manner that we will be insulated or protected from this so-called "negative view".  We should all have someone, that we can ask for a true perception of us and one who will be willing to give an honest opinion about our strengths and weaknesses.  It may take courage to hear it from a friend, but that is the only real way we can grow and over throw the incorrect views of ourselves, or more importantly the way we think that we are performing well, when in fact we have missed the ball entirely.  We all like to think that we are rational and clear in our thinking, but in fact most people are not so prone to meticulous assessments of themselves.  Mostly we tend to look for shortcuts guided by emotions to make decisions and this actually prevents us, from being rational in the first place.  Our decisions become limited to the thing that springs into our mind first and we utter it so fast, that we forget to think it through, especially if it appears that we will be spared criticism, or problems.  We become susceptible to flattery and 'liking bias' where someone is similar to us and thus we believe that they must therefore like us.  We make inferences and presumptions and do this because of things we have heard from others and experiences we have heard about, but very seldom on actual facts.  It is far more effective in life, thus to stop seeking the perfect decision, because this is basically impossible, but rather strive for a good choice which is one that we can grasp and learn to love in the circumstances.

So What is it to you!

People are often unreasonable and self centred.  They do things in a selfish manner with little regard to others around them and placing more emphasis on self gratification, self centredness and inwardly focused instead of on the bigger picture.  Nevertheless, we should forgive them anyway.  It is the right way.  If you are a kind person, people may accuse you of ulterior or false motives.  They doubt why you would be kind and loving and caring and they are cynical as to the reasons why you would chose to be amicable and helpful.  Yet, it is better to be kind anyway.  If you are honest, people may cheat you, they will exploit the honesty and will have little regard as to what it means.  They tear away at your integrity and scoff at your intentions.  So when the large bill comes at the end of dinner and there is a coke, which you drank and it is not on the bill and you mention it to the waitress and she proceeds to give you a look of disbelief, be honest anyway.  Forget those that persecute you for your honesty and try to trap you, or corrupt you, with lack of morals and integrity and stay truthful, to that which you are.  If you find happiness people may certainly be jealous, they will look for every chance to make you unhappy or spread mistruths about you, and their envy will eat away at them as they look for whatever reason, to bring you down.  Well, be happy anyway, there is little they can do to detract from your spirit of joy.  The good you do today, may certainly be forgotten tomorrow.  People are very quick to forget what you do for them and how much personal sacrifice may be made in your life, to try to benefit and help others.  Your goodness will be twisted and manipulated to suit their needs and you will feel like you are being used for what you can give and no emphasis placed on the personal cost.  Do good anyway.  As you give your best to the world you will quickly realise that it may never be enough, people are never satisfied, or grateful.  You will please some of the people, some of the time, but never all the people, all the time no matter how hard you try.  But without doubt give your best anyway.  For as the wise words of Mother Theresa ring true, in the end, it is between you and God - it was never between you and them anyway.  

It it to Win It!

There will be winners and losers in every scenario of life, whether in sport, in business, in relationships and even in playing a board game, at home with family.  Just about everything is designed for this situation and as humans it does not take us long in our formative years, to discover the concept.  Both winning an losing have become habits, with the one being sought after and the other being discouraged.  We are exposed to TV and even there the mentality, is towards a winner and loser, whether it be in a cooking show like Masterchef, or a singing competition like Idols, or general knowledge like Who Wants to be a Millionaire.  The concept is very much prevalent in sport with huge sums of money and careers playing out in the pursuit of victory, above defeat.  There is pressure of huge proportions brought to bear on players and coaches, to ensure that they perform at their highest levels and come out on top.  Yet even as this scene plays out in our lives on a daily basis, there is much being done in schools to encourage participation, rather than winning and losing.  This is designed to give all children an opportunity to be exposed to different academic, social and sporting models, without the concern of whether they win the contest, or come second.  It almost seems ironic, because while they are encouraged to not worry about winning, the whole world is designed to commence the battle, as soon a they are old enough.  I understand the concept well enough of the importance of winning and how losing can feel truly devastating and unpleasant.  Rules are broken and manipulated and victory is guaranteed in many ways, as long as the result is achieved.  In sport things like bank balance make a huge difference, because teams can be bought and this means that they end up with squads of players that are the best in the world, because they simply have enough resources to put a team on the field that can beat anything else in their league.  But now there are competitions designed to match these teams from different countries together and in this way, they are then creating even more scenarios and opportunities for winning and losing. One sometimes wonders what the effect would have been had TV not come into the mix so much with advertising rights etc and whether the games would have developed and grown so much.  Nevertheless this concept is here to stay and our children and ourselves are thrust into the Frey almost daily.  I am an advocate, that the most important aspect of wining remains the attitude with which you conduct yourself.  You can be a winner, but remain humble and fixed on important values and the difference between winners and losers lies more for me in the way it is achieved, than in the actual result.  Because life is so geared towards the concept, the win is to be achieved from being purposeful but respectful, committed but appreciative of the gifts we have been given, competitive but honest in the implementation and driven, but not to the point where the result becomes more important than the blessing of the opportunity to do the activity.  There must remain a level of enjoyment in all we do and hopefully winning does not become the only thing at all cost, but rather the pinnacle of hard work, dedication and passion for what we do.

Just Chill and Relax

Whether it is the peace of a Passover meal or time staring into a bushveld fire or sitting quietly reading, we all need a time to reflect and gain perspective.  A long weekend such as this, provides the perfect setting to de-clutter our minds and to find perspective to proceed, into the next quarter of the year.  It is almost like giving ones brain a time to vegetate and not to have to think of work and school and finances and crisis' and just to pass the time watching and taking in our surrounds, or the pages of a book and to have a few days where the concerns and worries take second place, to introspection and self or alone time.  It is obvious especially in a world with so many issues, that hiding from the facts and signs, is just being naive and running away from problems do not make them disappear or be there still the following day, but what I am advocating is valuable time to be more focused on your own inner feelings and less on the normal daily chores we normally have to do.  As I write I am staring at a line of ants, some going one way and another going in the opposite direction.  They do this all day and every day seemingly without a choice in the matter and doing the only thing that they know how to do. As humans we are so blessed to have a choice in all things and we are able to become a culmination of our choices.  We can change our choices and we can also go in an opposite direction or we can keep going in the way we are currently moving.  We are in the hands of our mighty maker, but we have been given an eternal hope and a restitution from some of the bad choices we make.  What a valuable and unbelievably selfless opportunity.  It is so important to take times like these when they present themselves and make the most of them - to rejuvenate our beliefs and reflect on the things that have been and make sure we take the important lessons and choices and store them to be ready when the week begins.  Wherever you find yourself, be purposeful in clearing your mind and remember to laugh and unwind and to pray and be still and to take a few extraordinary deep breaths of life.

Think Straight

Ahead of a few days off from work for Easter I thought I would analyse the word CONTEMPLATION in its application to our daily busy business lives.

C - consistent thinking is very important, to ensure that you stay focused and keep your eye on the proverbial ball; we cannot afford in these treacherous times to be careless and oblivious to what is going on around us. Don't overthink every aspect because you could get bogged down by the details, but rather err on the side of more thought, than careless risk;

O - ongoingly we must be grateful for the opportunities we have and allow ourselves times to celebrate and appreciate what we have; no business can survive without a few good breaks and the appropriate celebrations which make the journey so worthwhile;

N - nervous people are usually people that are focused and are not happy to let things go, without checking or making sure of their facts; this can often in business be the difference to making a big mistake and checking things, despite the fact that they are done on a regular basis is a healthy practice;

T - time is the most precious commodity in life, because you cannot get it back, once it is gone; it is vital to make time for all aspects of life and to use the time you have, on this earth, for the things that truly matter; don't waste time on situations that cannot be changed, or people that take your time away for their own purposes and needs; make time for your self and guard your time wisely;

E - energy is something along with time that erodes over the years, so make sure that when you can expend it on positive activities, get into the habit of exercising your body and mind and you will see a huge difference in your energy levels; lazy people will never succeed because successful people all over the world have an amazing work ethic and mostly they are able to pour that energy into creative and beneficial tasks;

M - memories are precious and we need to make them and keep them because they are often the things that we look to when we are down  and unsure of what lies in our future; we can recall them and the way they made us feel gives us hope for a better future or a faster resolve to a nagging problem;

P - pacing ourselves is a very important aspect of life; much like when preparing for an ultra marathon you need to adjust your pace and realise that the race is not over the usual 10 or 21 km - we need to adjust our pace in life, to create a better balance, because running flat out can result in burn out, or that we just loose the passion before we get to the end

L - live your life to the full and love what you do; there is very little point to getting up every day if you have no love for what you do; life offers so many opportunities on a daily basis and taking even just a few and finding peace in your circumstances is a truly fulfilling experience, but life will 'suck' if you do not love the whole package and not just some aspects of your life;

A - attitude remains everything, because without the right attitude even the best looking job or opportunity will never make you happy.  It takes adjusting on a regular basis because no job is perfect or cool all the time, so the quicker we learn to adjust our heart and cope with even the worst of days the more good days we are likely to have;

T - trust the team you are in and the people closest to you, because finding people in business and life who can be trusted is getting harder every year; there are so many people that look promising and charming, but in general don't set too high expectations of people because they will inevitably disappoint you; but when you trust, trust completely because it adds so much value when the person knows that you have their back and you will not compromise on protecting and supporting them;

I - integrity is to me the essence of the way to run your business and something not worth compromising; I have seen too many people take decisions to manipulate, use and abuse others and exploit people to get their way and eventually it always comes back to them and then their integrity has been compromised for good; it is not something that you can easily get back, so hold onto it with all you have;

O - obstinacy can be a very good quality in business and in life when you are not willing to give up the right things, to pursue them relentlessly, even if your colleagues and industry goes in another direction; the best business men and women sometimes have to make the hardest decisions and stick to a plan or decision, even if it feels like you would rather be swallowed up.  Once you know the direction you want to take with your business and life, hang on to it kicking and screaming and you will arrive at your destination sooner than you think;

N - never give up, or you will never get to the goal and consequently never to the prize; there will be times when you feel you are all alone and times when the prize seems to be getting further from you, instead of closer, but that is the time to CONTEMPLATE all that is your life and resolve to continue to your dream or destiny.