Sorry Sorry Sorry!

I'm sorry!  These are words we use often in relationships and yet we many times do not really consider the impact of them.  I for one am a person who has been guilty in the past of saying these 2 words all too easily and yet not thinking about the consequence of the words used before them to illicit such a retort.  Before repeating them hold your tongue.  Sorry is a word that has many meanings such as expressing or feeling regret, compunction, sympathy or pity.  It can also mean 'poor' such as when we say that "guy looks a sorry sight".  The context is thus important and so is the situation.  I think we have become very easy to use the word and we jump to say sorry, as a means of getting past an errant comment we have made and the word has become designed to quickly alleviate a problem situation.  Religion has also taught that we should forgive easily and often.  But being truly sorry carries a lot more weight and implies that we will try everything to avoid repeating the mistake, or comment, or action that caused the reason for us to have to utter the words in the first place.  It takes a lot of conviction to be truly sorry and the word should be used far more cautiously than we have become accustomed to using it.  I have found that I need to wait and hold my tongue and be very sure when I say these words.  They seem to impact me more when I consider whether I really am sorry and why I made a comment, or said something initially.  A good friend said to me, that you only say sorry if you have every intention never to repeat the utterance you made before the words again.  But this does not mean that we should become embittered and refuse to apologise when we have wronged someone or broken a bridge.  It just means that in some instances, we can make a comment if it is thought through correctly and with the right attitude and be able to criticise constructively, in the hope that we illicit a suitable response and the person learns from the experience without jumping to say "I'M Sorry" and later feeling that they should not have said so.  We should thus not be quick also to withdraw a comment simply because it may offend, or deliver a strong message.  Being sorry about something said or done, implies that we have taken the time to consider what it is we said and how it has affected the person at whom we directed the utterance and then deciding that after consideration we need to withdraw the view and not repeat it again.  If we know the person, we will be able to see their reaction or the wince of a comment's effect.  The expression of sorrow is one associated with pity and sympathy and usually gets used when there has been pain or loss.  Try to rather absorb more comments, dwell on it for a bit and then express your reply in the form of a retort, which is well directed or a rebuttal, which has been carefully considered or express true sorrow for the comment in the first place, if you can see that it has hurt or annoyed the person and then do not repeat the mistake.  Remember always that words and the tongue have the power of life and death, so making utterances which hurt and destroy will only serve to "heap coals on your own head".  Be thankful for genuine criticism and if need be, build a bridge to repair any damage, but when next you feel like saying sorry check, dwell on it and then be sincere in your response.