OK you have a Turn!

Here is a posing question - why is it that often we say that people begin to look and act like their animals and that their personalities become similar over time?  What about how a person can change you over time or have such an affect on your personality that it can change the way you think and act.  I guess that it has a lot to do with becoming accustomed to someone and the longer you are together and the more time you spend together, the more we take on habits, speech, sayings and a variety of expressions and mannerisms.  I find it fascinating when spending time with friends and family, to see how a spouse or partner can have an affect, over time, on the other, especially when stories are being related.  Sometimes listening to the "arguing" is almost more interesting than the story itself and who gets to say the "punch line" is very interesting as time wears on.  But obviously when we go into a marriage, or relationship, or partnership how are we to be sure that the person will be right for us and are there things that we can do, to ensure that the relationship remains sound even as time wears on, in a relationship.  I think that firstly the same belief system is essential, such as being a christian, as many of the same values will supplement each other.  It is about being equally yoked and I am a believer that this makes a major difference in how we start and end a relationship.  In hindsight I made mistakes in the past, because I did not check if the person was of the same belief, but in business certainly this is more challenging.  But if possible, try to establish this early and stick to it, because it is a sound principle and will not let you down.  Secondly, it will certainly help if the person you are in relationship with is willing to compromise and able to listen to your opinion, will give you an opportunity to put your side of the story and still at the end be willing to do it your way or theirs depending on which outcome produces the best result.  This involves being less prideful and more humble and showing qualities like patience, self control and gentleness.  These are difficult attributes, but once learnt they too will make your relationship far easier, the longer you are in it.  Thirdly I think it is good to have differences that compliment each other.  It is good to have a combination of personalities, so that where one is stronger the other can afford to concentrate on another element of the relationship.  I am by no means an expert on the topic, but allow yourself to fail once in a while and also stand up for yourself in your relationship, where you believe that your opinion or direction is the correct one.  It may test the relationship, but it certainly strengthens the ties.  Lastly, I think it best to go into a relationship with the sincere belief that it will succeed.  A positive attitude must make a difference because the more you believe in the other person and the fact that the relationship can work, the more this will rub off on one another and eventually you will begin to live the consolidated dream, through each other. So in summary, sometimes when telling a story to friends or in a business meeting, let the other person have a go at presenting your views and sit back and support with a nod rather than an interjection (just an aside - don't sit there and wait for each other to talk, because eventually the opportunity will pass away and you be left with a "bek vol tande").  You may even experience as I have, that sometimes the person you are with will surprise you and speak out the very utterances that you yourself would be proud to speak.