Sign these Agreements on the dotted line...

As we grow up (and even still  as an adult) we very often suffer from the fear that we need to please others to be a success.  I know that I was often very concerned about what others thought of me and what their expectations were of me.  Many young teenagers still go through this today as they begin to develop concerns about whether they will be accepted and acknowledged for what they do or ,say.  As a consequence, we often make presumptions to compensate for what we think others think of us and we end up confused and worried about outcomes, which were never there to be concerned about in the first place.  I  recently came across a simple teaching about making certain agreements with yourself which will result in a far better frame of mind and help you to face daily challenges when they spring up to meet you.  The first agreement involves your word and the ability to speak with integrity, by saying what you mean.  This is invaluable, as it will avoid gossip or negativity and encourages directing your words to love and truth.  That is probably why they say the truth will set you free.  Secondly, we need to understand that taking things too personally will only result in one taking the mindless and often needless comments of others to heart and giving far too much attention to them leading you to think, that what others do is because of you.  In reality we tend to project others reality into our own goals and desires and we attach the wrong value to opinions and actions.  We need to learn to be immune to the actions and words of others.  Thirdly, and certainly where I need to make the most adjustments, is in the area of assumptions.  We need to commit to ourselves, to raise questions with fortitude and truly try to express what we want.  This takes an attitude of humility and self sacrifice.  We need to have the freedom to clarify issues in a way that is aimed at avoiding misunderstanding and pain and to really strive to communicate clearly and concisely without the fear that the person  whom we are addressing, will rant and rave, or act in anger or try to hurt us.  This is a brave step and by cutting out so many unnecessary thoughts, we van have a far more focused approach to the things we want to achieve.  So don't be afraid to try and question but don't answer the question yourself and go off on a tangent with your thoughts, before the other person has even had a chance to respond.  This can only lead to uncertainty and lack of belief, especially in a leader.  Finally, and I think very importantly, is to strive to do things in excellence and when you do so, that you celebrate the successes and get over the mistakes more quickly.  Self abuse and self judgement will only leave you unfulfilled and your tank half empty.  Sometimes, no matter how much you want something you cannot change it, at the time and frustrating yourself with the outcome and making yourself the reason for failure, will only lead to further frustration.  Accept things sometimes for what they are, let patience be your guide.  It may surprise you that you will have a clearer mind and your confidence will shine through until the goal is achieved.