Grenache

I was sitting with someone recently, as we were trying various bottles of wine.  Upon tasting the wine he immediately turned up his nose and stated that the wine had turned.  However, to a normal person the wine may well have been fine to drink.  I sat there without the knowledge to argue and although I thought he was being a rude, arrogant chop, I was not able to challenge his view because I did not have the expertise or the confidence to express an opinion.  The difference lies in the knowledge of a subject and how sure we are through experience, skill and knowledge of our opinion relating to a specific topic or relationship.  If we have the skill and knowledge then we need to share this, through our opinion or actions, but the key is the manner or attitude with which we deliver the message.  For no matter how much of an expert we are on a topic, the recipient will only really accept and take note of the facts you have expressed if the way in which you express the opinion, is well received.  Take my example, the manner in which the guy announced that the wine was turned was loud and arrogant and as a consequence he may very well have been correct, but no one liked him and thus probably discounted his announcement.  Had he however managed to get the message across with the right attitude he may well have not only convinced us at the table, but also we may have asked when the next bottle was served, what his opinion of the wine would be.  Sometimes we get frustrated because we know the answer to something clearly and we just want to blurt it out.  We are absolutely sure of the answer and that what we would suggest would definitely work and potentially make ourselves and others far happier, but unless we find the right words and the recipient receives the message with a manner of clear understanding, it may well be that we will have to repeat the story a number of times. However, most people simply give up because the reaction they get is not what they expected or wanted, and they simply doubt their ability to package a view or words, in such a way, that can be understood, so they simply back out of the conversation or relationship opportunity because their confidence has been broken.  Don't be the loud opinionated idiot that shouts the odds above all, but also, don't be afraid to voice a humble opinion, when you know you can contribute.  And above all have another glass of wine.

Mind over Matter

The answers you seek never come when the mind is busy, they come when the mind is still.  You need to try to learn how to activate your mind to answer nagging concerns and questions and you need to be focused on the thoughts you have and how they fit into the larger scheme of your life.   It is said by some that "stil bly is ook 'n antwoord" but that is only when we are uncertain or unable to answer quickly enough because our mind is not activated when having the conversation.  Keeping quiet in order to wait upon answers or to open up your thinking is a positive thing, but keeping quiet for the sake of not offending others, or for fear that you may say something wrong is not healthy to an active mind.  It may be that your mind is active for good reason, because questions lead to answers and answers lead to decisions, which in turn result in actions which can unlock growth and success and happiness.  We can only figure out the burning questions if we enter the framework of the discussion with an a positive and honest mind.  It is also pointless to face challenges with a mind made up, or closed to any alternatives or options.  Life needs to be tested and the answers we think that we have today may not be the same in a year from now.  We need to allow for slow change and some dreams to take a lot longer than we could ever hope or think and similarly for immediate gratification at some occasions, because all the options have been considered and the decision is worth pursuing despite the risk or pain or ramifications to others close to us.  It may not be all bad to have an over active mind and you certainly do not have to apologise for where it can take you.

Speak all is forgiven.

Last night I sat at a wine auction amongst the conversations and it was interesting that one of the winemakers was explaining how they came to name and present the logo on the wine and the story behind the bottle.  It was evident that a lot of time and effort had been spent in the presentation of the bottle and made me think that the way we present and communicate a message whether through a wine bottle or in a letter or as we speak to people, it is often just as important as the message itself. The reason for this is because assumptions are made from the way we speak about something and said to people who really care, will result in them taking in the message and acting upon it.  We have to be careful not to say too much because the more we say and the less we do exactly what we say, the more our integrity is diminished.  Some bottles of wine have a whole history of info on them, while this particular bottle that I was staring at had just the salient information.  Of course it had to contain the standard terms and conditions, but even this was put in a manner that was positive, upbeat and strategic.  This principle applies all over and so whether you are a multinational corporate company or a sole proprietor or a small partnership like I am, getting the right message across is vitally important to how others perceive you and your intentions.  I will learn from this that we need not bottle up the facts with those that we trust, but yet we still have a responsibility to choose what we say carefully and in a manner that is respectful, positive and invokes growth and confidence.

The Gift of Life

There are moments in our lives when we are striving for happiness and success and the goal is clear and visible and yet we end up taking another step, only to find that we are way back, from where we were.  We can berate ourselves for the stupidity of taking a wrong step and we can incur the "wrath" of those close to us, but the reality is that the step has been taken and we are in this place for a reason.  It may be that real clarity can only be attained at a place of crossroads, because you can then see all the directions to go and make the correct choice on which one to take.  Perhaps it may be that you needed input and perspective from another source to make the correct decisions in the correct manner and this could only be attained by challenging the circumstances, even if those circumstances result in some disappointment and confusion.  It may also be that you needed to learn a specific lesson and that this lesson may only be learnt by real reinforcement and perspective.  The distractions and concerns can only be dealt with effectively, if they are understood and fully committed to memory.  However, making a mistake may not be the worst as long as one realises that the positive things in your life and business are far more important than a silly comment or a minor emotional uncertainty.  The quicker you are able to bounce back and refocus will give an idea of how fast you have learn from your mistakes and moved forward, not on, but forward.  Whether you berate yourself, or get some well deserved flack, the true north is finding your way back to the path you have been set and starting to work towards its conclusion.  We need to stop looking at our current circumstances and how they can be fraught with errors, potential risks and diminishing prospects and we owe it to ourselves and the people that have walked a path with us and remained true and committed, to bury uncertainty, insecurities and lack of belief.  The real destination awaits and we need to get about claiming not necessarily the first goal we have, but rather the real goal, which will make our life the meaningful gift that it is.

Talk about Talking

How often do we feel that we want to say something, but something in our wonderful minds prevents us from making a statement, or commenting.  Sometimes we can kick ourselves later and other times we wonder why on earth we opened the edifice that is called our mouth, so wide.  My own definition of TACT is Talking Accurately without Consideration of the Truth.  There is no doubt that some have the ability to ask and raise conversation in a way that makes others squirm and we wonder how they could ask such things, but get away with it.  We all have moments when we are sure that the guy standing next to us is going to get slapped for the question he has just raised, but surprisingly he not only gets away with it, but it starts a good conversation.  Perhaps I myself may be guilty of hesitating to ask the hard questions, or making the snap comment, but then again being sensitive to listen and say less, can also be very valuable in relationships.  There is no point if several people bombard someone with personal and direct questions - there needs to be those that listen quietly and take in the information.  Especially in business, one needs to have both skills of mustering the courage to put yourself out there and be confident in what you want and how you believe you can achieve it.  You need to sell yourself and your abilities.  But remaining humble has many merits as well, because the ability to let others do the talking while listening to clues or information, is often even more relevant and pertinent to reaching a goal.  Let others do the talking and let your actions rather be the determining factor.  I guess that is why working in teams helps to secure the right result, because the best team combinations seem to make the best of circumstances, as they unfold.  You could encounter a loud and boisterous person who wants to be listened to and you may get a guy with limited speaking ability, who would rather listen to you pitching to him.  Take Franklin and Bash or Harvey and Mike - they tend to feed off each other to get the results.  The bottom line is to learn not just to manage your business, but to manage relationships, opportunities and communication to achieve maximum results.

Where will the Roads lead to?

The road to mastery is not for the meek.  Is it possible that you have been coasting along while the realms of creativity and success are within you.  Perhaps you are in a trance of distraction that is sucking the greatness from you.  Lets face it, it is easier to be a critic rather than a doer.  The credit always belongs to the man in the arena and not the one who points out from the stands, where a strong man stumbles, or where deeds could have been done better.  The dust and sweat and blood are signs of a fight and especially of effort.  Yes it comes with errors and shortcomings, but one day it will also represent deeds endeavoured enthusiastically, great devotions and spending your life for a worthy cause.  The highway to audacity is not for the faint at heart.  Whether you know the triumph of achievement or the failure of risks, which you are sure are worth it, at least you will be with the daring souls and not merely the cold and timid souls, who neither know victory nor defeat.  It is too easy to tear down those that dream and to condemn adventurers as selfish men, who have only a personal crusade inside them.  But perhaps it may be more reasonable to understand that the route to world class is a messy, chaotic, gorgeous, terrifying, fulfilling, brilliant, confusing ride, not easy, but easy is vastly overrated.  Yes it is wise to be sensible and yes it may be easier to plod along on a straight path with little deviation or risk, but just know that there are men and woman who may just be willing to take a chance and end up at a new destination, which may surpass the standards and the expectations which they had before.  And when they do arrive, it is best not to then look back with green eyes of envy and say I could have, should have, would have, but rather to applaud the strength, resolve and dedication to success.

Expect to have Standards!

Sometimes we just need to take a moment to think.  We can become embroiled in the business of life, the obstacles of work, or the difficulties of relationships.  We can become over committed to a situation and even though commitment is very often needed to make a situation a reality, it can be that we are so focused on a singular result that we slip away from reality and into a world of dreams and fairy tales.  We may need to be brought back to reality or Terra Firma as my grandfather used to say and gain a little perspective into what the difference is, between standards and expectations, when it comes to our relationships and business endeavours.  Expectations are very often linked to assumptions of how people should react, what we think they should do in a given situation and how we would expect them to treat us.  But realistically our expectations hold us back in the end, because we will spend more time in the end picking up the pieces of misunderstandings, unfulfilled dreams and missed connections, while we would be far better off to focus our attention on standards which are measurable and achievable and can help us to attune ourselves to the realities of our circumstances and to forge genuine and meaningful relationships, rather than open ended stabs at what may or may not be the best, in our situation.  When we chose to drop our expectations, possibilities open up to us, some of which may not be the best for us, our relationships, or our business.  However it is almost without fail that if we drop our standards then trouble in a variety of forms is not far away.  Our standards need to be maintained and developed and it may take time and a whole lot of effort, but once you have determined the standards you wish to maintain then failure to meet them is no longer an option.  You will need to make decisions which will seem impossible and expectations will be eating at you from various sources, but if you are committed to the standards, then you will find a way to make them happen no matter what the price.