Ag nee .. sies Doktor!

Today I listened on the radio to a piece about the loss of productive hours being experienced in this country due to employees presenting fake doctor's notes and how they use various and devious means to getting the "day off".  The statistics are incredible.  Now unbelievably, doctors are suggesting that they will put vending machines into their rooms, where one can insert your medical card and pay to receive a sick note by choosing a particular ailment, from a list of options.  The doctor felt that this was not only justified, but in the public interest, because this will give more time to the doctors to spend on genuine patients, instead of having their rooms cluttered with people, who are not really ill.  He also mentioned that medical aids will be in favour, as they will then no longer have to expend huge funds, in conducting tests on patients that have no condition, he felt even employees will benefit because they would skip work anyway, so now they can use a "legitimate" means of getting the sick note instead of having to resort to fraud and deception.  This is a truly sad indictment of our country and the moral degradation, that we can even contemplate such behaviour. First and foremost, it is despicable that in a country which is struggling in its economy daily, due to lack of service delivery, major crime and corruption, huge unemployment and risk of chaos, due to maladministration, but yet the people still choose to rob the employers of even their time, so that all in all, more and more pressure can be brought to bear, on a small minority of people, who are willing to work and sacrifice.  These people have to carry a country of dishonest scoundrels and that includes people in high places, so that our country can continue to stumble along in its path, being ruined by a miserable and pathetic majority of oxygen thieves. We have shining lights, like Trevor Noah, who has just been appointed as the host of a top late night show in America, entrepreneurs like the guy looking to combat the dodgy sick notes with an online web based application, to check the official status of the notes and other super performers like AB de Villiers, who truly hoist the flag of the nation.  But why is it that the work is left to couple of dedicated people, while the others float around, or do down right nothing, but still expect to be paid and given what they want, not even what they need and the dedicated hard workers, just have to keep producing.  I am all for the freedom that this country offers, but it is about time to take stock and that traditional hard work is rewarded and that the rot is stopped, before the lights go out (literally and figuratively) on the amazing place, we call home.

Open and Shut!

What if you get to the point where you have been questioning aspects that trouble you daily and you can't seem to rationalize what is best to do in a situation, which may be of considerable consequence. You want a certain result so badly, but it never seems to get closer, or when it does you get distracted and end up back on the meandering road, no closer to the target.   Over thinking it, is the biggest cause of our unhappiness, so keep yourself occupied, keep your mind off things that don't help you and be optimistic.  Imagine if you decide in fact that you will do the very things, that you are expected not to do and what if you are actually positive about the very things which everyone expects you to be negative on.  People may be expecting a particular reaction or attitude from you, because that is what you have always done in the past, they may be expecting you to simply do, act and say as you have always done and they may even expect a bit of raving and ranting and then all will return to normal.  But what if letting go of toxic baggage, can transform your h(w)ealth and you decide to do it once and for all.  Could it be the opening of a new door, to a new future that lies in wait, could it give you the momentum, or desire to truly follow your dreams and might it be the very link, that gives you peace to fulfil your purpose and follow your vision.  Many of these things may seem uncertain but then life in itself is so full of uncertainty.  In fact the moment we become complacent and believe that life is certain and clear and we know where we are headed, then something will definitely come from behind and poke you up the proverbial jumper.  How often we strive for something and keep going over and over expecting a different result, when in fact the best way to get the result is to do something unexpected. One thing about this approach, is that what will become certain is the priorities in your life and the things that matter and your focus will surely shift from things that you thought mattered and what you thought you wanted to the things that you do want and that are actually available to you, it is just that you have been holding yourself from experiencing them or accepting them in your life.  The result may be something that you may have considered, but it did not fall into the scope of your desire, but now having forced yourself to take a different path you are confronted by things and they turn out, not as bad as you first thought.  They may even begin to make sense and in this way goals change and paradigms shift and what is left is a different you, but quite possibly a better version.

A road Map.

I am not sure that life does not follow the same scientific principle of,  "for every action, there is a complete and opposite reaction" - we can seldom make a decision in life, without a reaction occurring which changes our thinking and the way we live on a daily basis.  Perhaps the key is not to try so hard to map our life and to let it meander naturally, in the order and path that is destined.  There has to be a reason why you are in the place in your life that you find yourself now.  Life seems to comprise of times of meandering roads like a mountain pass going up and down and sometimes back tracking on itself and yet all the time slowly creeping to the top of the pass.  It has sharp turns and slow long turns  and we have to accelerate out of the turns sometimes and other times, really apply the brakes hard.  But this is not the only type of road that we meet in life.  Many times there is also a "t-junction" waiting for us and we need to go, one way or the other.  Which is more fun to traverse?  No one really knows the answer, except to say that perhaps the long winding road takes more out of us and keeps us locked in for a longer time, on a path that may not even be the right one, whereas the t-junction certainly gets us to the next decision and on to the path again quicker, even if it is perceived or viewed as wrong; sometimes it invariably results in us getting to another t-junction or windy road.  The T in the road is exciting and definitive and it has beginning and end whereas the windy road has more compromises and opportunity to contemplate.  Neither seems to be wrong it just depends at the time when you reach them.  The key is that both represent life and both represent a journey, so it is best to take them with the right things in your luggage and be well equipped.  

It is not our right to receive .. is it?

If there is anything that irritates me and gets up my nose, then it would people who have this expectation that others will sort out their mess and come to the party to help them or assist them as if they are unable to do it. My dad always used to say, you get those people that fumble, while the other person pays and to his credit he was never like this in his life.  But I have come across people who plead poverty and seem to complain about how little they have, or how tough things might be, but when one drills down to the truth, then it is merely that they are not prepared to put in the same effort and sacrifice, but their expectation remains of the same result.  There seems to be an altogether unhealthy mentality creeping around that people have expectations to receive something in this country and the perception is that certain people can help, because they "have the means", but what of the years of work and tireless sacrifice to get to the point, where they are able to consider themselves financially stable or sound and why should they be the ones then, that end up helping because others have made poor choices or been lazy enough to sit around and not take sufficient care of their finances - not all in life are meant to be wealthy and I accept that some are born, or get themselves into situations and that they are at a distinct disadvantage,  but I would say it is more dignified to be grateful and humble and do the work that has been given to you with an attitude of appreciation and not treat it as something which is owing to you.  Also mere association with a person, who has done well, does not entitle you to sponge from them, or abuse the fact that they may have been generous in the past.  It is every person's responsibility to plan and manage their finances and opportunities and not to wait for others to make the effort on your behalf.  We are not taught to show pride, as it is not the best quality, but there is also room for commitment and a competitive spirit, to try to do better.  I am tired personally of hand outs and begging at robots and intersections - I have little patience for this in a time when many households are struggling to maintain the same lifestyle, as they once had.  It may be that very often we adjust our lifestyle too high, too quick, but every parent and spouse will know that you will always try to do the best to support yourself and family.  It is not sufficient to say that there is no hope and no opportunities - in this country, due to the shocking manner in which government conducts itself, there will always be a need for people to work hard and take opportunities that are there, and I do not believe that this cannot be done.  There are people from previously disadvantaged backgrounds, that are showing the attitude and commitment to advancing themselves and their careers and there are those that always have the guts to try and improve their lives no matter that they have to work longer and harder to get there.  But the lazy and "helpless" just irritate me and I hope that somewhere they will either see the light and be grateful for what they have, or start to try to do something worthwhile, or at the very least not to expect to get others to do the work for them.  The more people that contribute to our economy and work force and that show basic commitment, dedication and willingness to do an honest days work, without exploiting others and gaining from situations, where they have no place to receive, the better it will go for them and those that continue to struggle and hurt for them.

Shall we dance!

Life may not be the party we had hoped for but while we are here we may as well dance. How true this is.  At the beginning of any adventure, be it a new job, a new relationship, a new sport or hobby we are so excited about the prospects and what this venture has in store for us and we pretty much go in fearlessly feeling like not much could stop us, like a break dancer just randomly executing moves in a public place in  front of others.  It is probably a bit of naivety and youthful ambition that gives the confidence to break out and dance without worrying too much about the repercussions, this may be an exiting time in life but also has dangers. We can get caught up in the hype and ambitious lust only for life to set us down on the seat of our pants very hard.  We realise that life is a leveller and that we should be more precise with our dealings with her.  As we go we accumulate things like lifestyle, spouse, kids and assets and during this time in life we dance to a different tune, that of wealth and prosperity.  We glide around in an effortless waltz gaining confidence and experience.  We start to realise what is important in life and we often live our lives for the good of others building up families and careers and other peoples careers.  But again life does not become easy and like a tango only the very best survive without making a mistake or two.   We are open to hurt and pain from others that use our hearts and skills to benefit themselves, they manipulate and change views and perceptions and they begin to tear at the notion of good and use us to get what they want from our success and hard work.  We experience failure and see that things just don't work like we thought and that our principles and integrity become highlighted as we are exposed to the opposite in people, including friends, colleagues and even partners. We long to continue to dance but the world around as starts to beat like a hard rock concert where the only thing to do is shake our heads up and down or from side to side.  Yet in total life still offers balance there are many lighter moments and parties that remind us why we are here and countless songs to inspire us, captivate us and motivate us.  Eventually we become like couples you see at a wedding that dance effortlessly weaving there way through the other couples, not afraid of bumping into others and fearless about what song is playing and how many people are in front of them.  They are mature and comfortable in what life has dished out to them and yet still they dance. We realise that life has not defeated them and that hard as it may be it is worth living and experiencing because it is the one we have been blessed with and it is ours to embrace and celebrate.

Take a deep breath of goodness.

Every negative  circumstance also contains an opposite, meaning that there will always be some good buried in every seemingly bad situation.  It is up to us to seek positive aspects in every situation and to try to deal with the bad, knowing that if we search enough, we will find the positive aspect or silver lining.  We are confronted daily with a variety of feelings, as a result of experiences we have and depending on how busy we are, very little time exists to stop and contemplate things that affect us on a daily basis.  We go at full speed to get through the traffic and the work load and the cooking and shopping and all to get to bed, so that we can rise again tomorrow to do it all again.  How little time we actually get to spend on the impact of those choices and decisions we make daily and which go a long way, to determining our future.  We know and feel so much more than we think on a daily basis and we just sometimes need to find a quiet place, to give an opportunity for our heart to talk, so that our mind can listen.  We need important people in our lives that can help us to de-clutter in a positive and expedient manner.  Instead of needing many friends a few with less bullsh$# can go a long way to a happy life.  Even though you may not know it, you could be a part of a puzzle in someones life and their life (even though you cant see it) may never be complete, if you are not in it. Some of my own regrets come not from the past per se, but rather the time I wasted with the wrong people.  How much more value a life has, when we exercise good judgement, manage the negative things circulating in our lives and cherish the special and good things we are sure to find in any day. As we head into a weekend where we are sure to be surrounded with things to do and decisions to be made, spend the time wisely and don't be afraid to vent to those that make a difference in our lives.  Don't underestimate the value of a few moments of quiet and reflection and make enough time to absorb good advice, special moments and a whole lot of quality breaths.

Passport Shame!

This morning with my psyche already down from the loss by the Proteas, I had to endure the Department of Home Affairs, in the renewal of my passport.  It was unfortunately an embarrassment of epic proportions in the manner in which the system worked, from when you walked in the door, to the very last stop at the cashier.  The entire building had some chairs in the middle, queues all over and extreme lack of assistance and skill .  There was no numbering system and people were standing around and generally unsure of when they would be helped, or even if they would be helped.  Extreme patience needs to be exercised in dealing with the officials, but sometimes you cannot but shake your head at the process being followed and their incompetence in running, what should be a very easy task.  It was interesting to note the level of impatience, being experienced from all nationalities and this was not a case of typical RSA racism, but rather all South Africans expressing disapproval, at the state of national departments and the fact that, no service was being provided.  Yesterday too our idiotic president told a group of disgruntled people, that if he were a dictator, he would teach them a lesson, not to expect things like basic services and to start working towards building their own houses, as he would only give them the materials and then they should build their own.  But he mentions nothing about his responsibilities and one wonders, how the man on the street can learn from the examples of leaders like him.  I pray that I will get my updated passport, in the next few weeks and be grateful, that I would not have to apply again in 10 years.  I imagined what it would be like to have a system that worked and how much we could achieve if we just had certainty that daily infrastructure works and that we could rely on systems being implemented all over the country which would result in stability and confidence would grow in South Africa among it's people and how much more they could achieve in the knowledge that at least services and infrastructure were taken care of.

Its a write off so write it off.

We are all entitled to an "off' day every now and then.  We do not seem to escape days worth placing in the dustbin no matter who we are or profess to be. Even the worlds greatest sportsman, business men and women and leaders have days, that they would prefer to forget.  It may be a day of emotion, or something that truly upsets us and it may be a few small things which slowly grind away at us and then culminate in a day when everything seems a "bit much".  Not everyone has the luxury of taking a day off to recharge or just getting away from it all to get our mind off the day.  Maybe it is worth letting ones imagination run a bit and think of lying in the sun somewhere beneath a palm tree, or being whisked away Christian Grey style, to Paris for dinner.  Maybe it would help to think of nothing but the best days of laughter and fun and to transform our minds into places of fantasy and fairytale.  But probably like most, we have to learn to just cope and in fact we are often told to just get on with the day and things will be OK.  You can tell when a colleague or family member is truly down and the best medicine, is often to just remove as many obstacles as you can from the day and be supportive, knowing that a similar day lies ahead of you as well.  How many times do people rather take the view that "I also had the worst day yesterday" or, "but that is their problem and I have problems of my own" - selfish approaches to a single day, when that person feels it is all too much. Does it take much to realise, that for a few hours, that bit of attention or moment is potentially the difference in the recovery, or healing of that person and it may be equipping them for a day when they will be the "strong one ", offering support to another.  We cannot escape bad days, but we can hold steadfast in the belief, that together, we can cope and give each other hope and encouragement, for a better tomorrow.  Sometimes it is through words and sometimes just to listen,  Sometimes a well positioned joke, or some laughter can be the perfect distraction - either way, show respect to those around you, not knowing their dilemma, or frustration, or hurt.  It is not what is in the story, but in the way you read it and help them to turn the page to a better tomorrow.

Give that man a ... tap on the shoulder!

People may know your name, but not your story.  They may remember you from yester year at school, or university and remember how you were then and automatically assume that you have remained the same person and are either still shy, or thin, or confident, or soft hearted, or poor.  They have heard what you have done in your lifetime, but not what you have been through.  There may have been a whole series of challenges, disappointments, achievements and relationships, that you have gone through and conquered and yet they cast a pebble in the pond, expressing an opinion of you from a memory, or historical reference, completely unaware of the path of life you may have followed.  So that is why it would be particularly wise to take their opinions with a dash of salt.  They are after all opinions and not necessarily based on facts.  In the end its not what others think, but what you think of yourself that counts.  If that which you think of yourself is based on what others think and say, then you are likely to be disappointed and filled with half truths and wrongful perceptions.  Certainly take compliments, that are genuine and aimed at building you up and make sure that those that are misplaced and puffed up speech, are flushed quickly and quietly from your system. Make sure your anxiety over how you feel about yourself, stays your anxiety, because otherwise your fears and worries, will become part of those people that care about you and in some instances, it will become their reality too.  I am not suggesting you bottle it up ongoingly, but try to keep the things that belong in your reality, to yourself.  You can spend the time on yourself dispelling your fears and tempering your attitude and even giving yourself a good old pep talk every now and then.  It remains your duty to deal with the things that affect you most and to come out on the other side, more positive and appreciative of the person that you are and have become.

Seasons - Part 2

But there another factor at play in life and that relates to selecting where it is that you need to go.  Because life like seasons has repetition to it, we need to make certain selections or choices and stick to them, because as my late grandfather used to say, you "don't plant pumpkins and pick potatoes". Having searched and explored and then being ready to implement with the right attitude, it comes down to a time when selecting our direction, can and should make a significant difference to the end result.  I am not a believer in the fact that this all takes place by the age of 21 and then from there, we are adults, who are destined to pick a job, find a mate, settle down and then slog through life till the end, when we may see the end of a good life at four score and ten.  Surely life is such a blessing, that we can make selections early and later in life and not be too afraid that even if we make "wrong" choices there will be another season to rectify this, or to choose a different outcome.  We can start again if things go pear or we can keep going if the thing ain't broke. We just need to commit to our selections, because many times we fail because of the fact that, though we are in the right time and place, we don't commit sufficiently to the result, that we end up thinking that we are in summer, when in fact we are in spring.  They may in part look the same, warm and with growth, but they are different, because if you try to plant in summer the sun will burn the seedlings and they will not grow and similarly, if we forget to plant in spring thinking that we are in summer, we will end up with no crops to bear fruit.  Sound profound -  maybe i'l get published in Farmer's Weekly.  The seasons though they come and go do almost always differ slightly in length and this is truth is one of the most remarkable parts of life.  Some seasons last longer than we think and we don't always see the change, from the one to the other. On the reverse side I have experienced seasons, which come and go quickly and unexpectedly, when I was hoping, that they would be around for longer.  This is why we need to be awake to what is going on around us and be ready to take our opportunities when they come.  Opportunity is part of every season, we just need to see it even if it is disguised.  Like how can winter have opportunities you would say? - it is cold and the days are short.  However, even in the days of long slog at work or in relationships when we feel we are not appreciated, or getting a rough deal or not receiving the rewards we deserve, still life is dishing out opportunities.  We may be in a time when we need to work hard to develop our skills sufficiently, or stay put and learn from a mentor, or teacher, or wait for our investment to grow.  We should never discount the tough times, because there are more opportunities in them, than we can imagine, or believe.  We just need to open ourselves to catch the wind as it moves and be prepared to last it out, until the sun shines again.  Our whole life becomes a navigation dotted with bright flowers and damp days.  We need a basic compass of principles to follow, like love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, gentleness and self control.  The more we fill it, the more we can look back and feel blessed, to have had the privilege to live and laugh and cry and to lead a full life. We owe it to ourselves to navigate the high seas and the doldrums without wind to carry us.  We need a rudder (or guide) and an anchor and we need to stay afloat no matter what.  The most important thing, is not to get to the end of life and not have tried to fill it with everything you can. Be brave to try to search, explore and develop the right attitude and then once you have this in your armory, you will be ready to select the right opportunities and navigate the rest of the way to a glorious celebration. No matter how many seasons in life we are given as allocated by our Maker, as long as we give it our all, we can enter our resting place, having celebrated a blooming good life!

Season 1 Part 1

Today's weather post from Weather SA for Cape Town says "Rain can be expected with a light wind and moderate temperatures. No rain expected". Go Figure!! So today I thought I might look a little deeper into the word SEASON because I have used it rather liberally over the years and because I do believe that life is comprised of many such seasons making up a lifetime.  Although seasons are defined in weather terms to signify 4 main parts, there are many times when these 4 parts become blurred (a bit like the guy who did the weather report this morning) and intertwined, that it is not so easy to see where the one ends and the next begins.  So too in a life aimed at success, we go through times when our path is clearly defined and mapped out and other times there is so much happening all around us, that it is very difficult to identify which season we are in.  It begins with a search in life (not restricted to age), trying to find our place and getting to know how and where we fit into the world and what sort of role we are likely to play in a lifetime.  Two key things need to be remembered, in the weather seasons and in life, namely that they come and go and they repeat themselves in patterns.  My dad will be proud to know that I have figured out that History does repeat itself like the seasons.  So as we search our lives we need to bear this in mind and realise that there will be signs along that way, that give a good indication of the journey and the destination - secrets in life, which lie hidden and waiting to be opened and explored.  Exploration is the second letter of the word and very key to our journey.  It permeates so many parts of life and yet for many people, it only takes place in their youth and once they have reached adulthood, the view is that this needs to stop and we need to get on with being mature adults.  Exploring relates to tastes, and relationships and spiritual matters and job/career selection and travel.  It can be a very scary time when you are young,  a bit like spring, when all around is blooming and we are confronted with so many colours and so many choices, where everything is blooming and growing and we can hardly cope with what to choose and what to leave.  The people that we learn from and form relationships with, are so key to helping us in our exploration and we should never discount the value of interaction with people and what they mean over a lifetime.  Most of what we try to explore is positive and yet even the weeds grow in spring and we are best to be cautious in the exploring phase, because we can easily be led astray into paths, that turn out to be dead ends or even cliffs or slippery slopes, but the wonderful thing about life is that, even though there may be treacherous explorations, there will always be a new season to turn from the danger and rectify the path we are on.  We just need to identify the moment when we are ready to move along and this comes back largely to my favourite word, namely attitude.  It is also part of the word season and like in so much of what we do, our attitude almost certainly determines our destination.  Attitude can change there is no doubt about this, we only have to look at how we feel when the sun is shining and all about is warm and fun and when the rain comes and the dampness and the cold takes over how we change our feelings.  Events like pain and hurt and disappointment can change our attitude and hold us captive in a place for long periods of time. The importance of life, is having the correct attitude when you know that the rain makes you feel miserable, but still you have the experience and the understanding, that you can adjust your mind and feelings towards it and not allow it to negatively impact your day. Unfortunately, this comes through experience (but note not necessarily with age as I think that even young people can learn much and gain experience before they are "old")  and over a number of seasons and as long as you have a heart, which is open to change and a mind, which is willing to learn from the experiences you face, then there is no doubt that a time will come when you  can wake up daily, not phased by whether (or weather) the sun is out, or the rain is falling and still make a difference in your vocation, your relationships and in your talents.

How scared are you?

Never let your fear decide your future.  There are several things that we fear in life, like death, the loss of a loved one, or fear of being alone, or even losing our job.  These may be real fears and we probably cannot escape all of them over a life time, but there is no doubt that these fears can play havoc with our future, if we give too much attention to them and we end up believing, that inevitably we will succumb to at least one of these fears.  I have never advocated being careless in what we do, because that too certainly has consequences, but again the balance can and should exist in our lives, where we base our future, not so much on vague hopes and fears, but on solid foundations, as long as in the mix somewhere, we have a sense of adventure and know when to let our hair down, so to speak.  Many people are very guarded in their approach to life and this is basically fear, in that that they will not allow themselves to have expanded thoughts or the freedom to explore what they love and to take risks.  The comfort of knowing what they have is there to ease the fear and yet this becomes the noose that strangles the laughter and the fun from a life, slowly but assuredly.  Some suggest that it would be better to postpone the freedom, or joy of a new adventure, until a time when they are older, or the kids are no longer a factor, or when things get financially more secure.  It may be that the day will come, when you are finally financially free enough to take that trip, or buy that car with the bull bar and mags, but by then they would have replaced the model and the lustre will be gone.  So finding a balance in ones younger years, is for some, a lot less easy than it sounds.  While I certainly do admire those who have the patience and resolve to not base their future on fleeting moments, or immediate gratification, but there is surely something to be said for the joy that an exciting new venture or journey can bring.  I continue to advocate caution and patience, but I love to see a little spontaneity and a positive risk or two.. or three!

Up Up and Away!

It has been said that you are or become the company you keep.  It is fascinating, that the choices we make in our lives, sets us up for where we end up and the people that we end up meeting and associating with, have a serious influence on our lives, as the journey of life unfolds.  Although we cannot control every circumstance and decision, there is little doubt that as we go, we are confronted with decisions that at the time may not even seem significant, but when we begin to reflect, we realise that they have a profound effect on us as individuals.  We tend to build certain relationships, that we end up keeping for years, due to the type of place we get our education, the type of course we study and then in business the industry we choose to ply our trade.  We meet individuals that have similar visions and passions and this sets us off on a journey where we gain friends and relationships that tend to last and grow over many years.  The people that we end up working with and interacting with can become the best of friends and there are common interests and similar beliefs, that we tend to share.  I guess you end up slowly growing a close "laager type" existence, because of the common interests you share on a daily basis.  Yet there is an entire world of people and relationships and it is good to get a perspective every now and then, that the world remains out there, with fascinating places and opportunities.  It used to be only for the wealthy and privileged to be able to travel the globe but definitely social media and things like google and facebook, have reduced the size of the world, allowing us not only to capture the greater world and to be able to circulate it fast, but also to take photos which would otherwise have been left on a camera, or at best developed into an album kept in ones house; today these can be posted and shared and give us a perspective of so many communities and moments almost as they unfold.  It means that we can believe that there are new beginnings and hope for fresh starts.  It means that we should look at our own world and embrace what we have and know that no matter the circumstances, we can start again or keep going, with a belief that the world is a little larger than our little world only.  We can start to cry about a single thing that may be going wrong and end up weeping over our whole existence. While I am grateful for the people closest to me, I can also encourage those having tougher times, to look around and see that we need not be satisfied with just what is in our immediate surrounds.  We can afford in this beautiful world, to look further and believe that there may be other positive adventures around the corner, just waiting to be explored, so we need not get bogged down in our daily plight, but we can truly expand our horizons and take our place in this unique world.

Plan to ... and again I say .. Plan.

Some say you don't always need a plan, sometimes you just need to breathe, trust, let go and see what happens.  This is a refreshing outlook in a world that demands major planning in every aspect and due to continuing technology, making things so accessible, it leaves one wondering, how it may be possible to live without planning every detail. Yet there are also occasions when "to plan is the plan" and we need to stick to it.  The secret lies in the word itself.  PLAN where the P stands for presenting yourself at the start, before your begin the journey to whatever it may be that you are looking to achieve. You will need to do all the thinking and considering of options, but ultimately you need to turn up at the start, if you want to get to the finish.  L stands for love or passion to achieve a dream or goal we must have this ingredient in whatever we attempt, because this is what will count in the times when we cannot understand why we have chosen a particular course, or destination.  Being passionate is such an exhilarating feeling and once tasted, it should be savoured and kept close to your heart. A can only stand for one thing in our lives and that is attitude, because without it, we will fizzle away, no matter how meticulous we think we are, in the achievement of success.  The best preparations and research only get us some of the way, but attitude drives us when nothing else is left.  Attitudes can and should be adjusted to the challenges we face and the people we interact with and even those that bring out the worst in us, can be dealt with, if we can adjust quickly to their manner and show them an opposite spirit, which catches them off guard and renders them defenceless to the destination you want a discussion, or plan to go to.  Last but not least is the N and this signifies noting what is going on around you, taking in the details daily and making mental notes of what is important.  This ability is what distinguishes many times, the difference between a success and a near miss, because the margin for error may be small, but the reward at the end of either a well planned move, or a spontaneous achievement, makes it so worthwhile.  Hannibal from the A team (I'm giving away my age now) used to say it best with "I love it when a plan comes together". 

Byt Vas Boet.

Life has ups and downs and sometimes our faith is tested to the limits with situations that just seem unfair, senseless and unnecessary.  There are days when not just one or two things go wrong, but a whole series of events that conspire to bring us down.  This is exactly the time to draw on faith, people close to us and to open up in conversation instead of holding back from speaking about the things that are affecting us.  This is exactly when we need to bring the matters up and embrace the fact that we are able to remember times past and draw strength from memories of similar experiences, other peoples lives and the principles we have instilled in us, to cope and deal with life's curve balls. All that can be done is to button down the hatches, be positive and confront the beast ahead of us with a good attitude.  You will not find the answers immediately in all instances, but keeping your eyes open while you are going through the storm, will allow you the privilege of remembering how it felt in hardship and in victory and how you can come through it with dignity and a valuable lesson in your heart.

Ready Steady Go and Go and Go!!

Today marks the start of the 2015 Cape Epic and it brings back memories of a time in my life, when I managed to commit and complete the event.  It took me to a place where I experienced an amazing sense of accomplishment and completion and I was amazed at the strength that a person can muster in a  time when a goal has been set and you have an accountability to another person, to ensure that you not only hang in, but support and encourage your partner, every step of the journey.  It reminded me so much of business and the challenges faced every year to succeed and grow a practice, while all around you the odds continue to mount against you, for success.  It started for me with an sms to say " look at this event - maybe we should enter it" and 8 months later, we were lined up at the ultimate mountain bike challenge.  We were out of our mind like the John Legend song says and we looked at each other and asked of each other to give each other all of the heart and soul we could muster, to complete this event.  Finding any such challenge in life, whether a friendship, a marriage or a partnership is an incredible challenge and when you back over a lifetime those decisions and commitments are the things that matter the most in defining who and what we are.  Choosing the correct partner in the Epic is probably more important than the equipment and the training, because that person will see you in your darkest times and at the pinnacle of joy and success.  Similarly, if you find a business partner or a life partner, with whom to traverse the epic journey of life, then it is best to take a moment every day and give thanks for what you have and protect it no matter what obstacles the course of life, sets out for you.  The course designer at Epic was known as Dr Evil and he had the habit on each day (like the Evil we face every day) of bringing you close to the finish, so close that you could hear the crowd at the finish and then took you on a loop away from the area, just far enough, so that all went quiet and your spirit was ready to break, before bringing you to completion of another stage, broken, but not defeated.  This is so similar to life and business and relationships, many times you cannot think that you would get through a time or season and you struggle to come to terms with the challenges you face, but when you look to your left and see the person by your side, you know that though they too may struggle, their eyes tell you that there is still an expectation and an encouragement in their voice to keep going.  Celebrate every day when you have those close to you, who are still committed to you and where you feel like you can also give more, no matter if it hurts.  Be unrelenting in the search not for perfection in those closest to you, but rather the simple ability to say I'm in till the end.  Be impatient if you need to make sure that your partner is the one who will be with you at the finish, but once you have assured yourself of the fact then trust with everything you have, that the finish will be a matter of time.

Tick, Tick .. Boom (not Boom ... Tick Tick)!

We need to sometimes take a candid look around us and realise that we should and can be grateful, as we go about our days, for the blessing of protection and safety.  Sometimes we may be oblivious to how close to danger we get and not just physical, but also emotional and spiritual.  We may sometimes be considered as pessimistic, or realistic, as I like to call it, if we say "what if this were to happen" or "but think about the consequences", but  really, if we look at all that goes on around us, I think we would see more of it as a reality check, for making sure we are ready for whatever life may throw at us.  It may be that you reach a ripe old age and I am not saying that you should live in a cocoon all your life and over a life time, not take any risks, but I am not always sure how close we get to imminent danger and why I think that life should be lived with happiness and fruitfulness as a priority.  We can always place a million reasons forward for why things won't succeed, or make excuses for potential consequences, but around the corner but we could be hit by a bus.  So we should perhaps spend more time on the living and enjoying the moment and less time planning every detail of our lives to the endth degree, while all around us potential opportunities exist. Reality checks in with us every now and then and when it does we can only pray that we are spared from hurt and pain and given more chances to live out happiness.  There is little point in holding back for another day, so raise your eyes and thoughts to what surrounds you and make today count.

What is to be said for saying it!

Over a lifetime we make many comments and use words daily, which become so part of our everyday life, using them with family, friends and colleagues.  But how much of what we say, is habitual and said as part of daily communication and how much is truly of value and how do we distinguish between opinions expressed and words of true impact.  Even some of the most intimate things that we say to each other on a daily basis, are mere statements and circumstances and views and even current affairs, may have an impact on what we say and how we construct our opinions.  It worries me that we have the ability, at times to say things to others, that impact their lives, their views and even their futures and yet, who are we to make such comments, which end up changing peoples lives.  How cautious do we need to be when saying things because, those very words may become a habit and the more we say them and the more people hear them, the more value they tend to attach to them.  This is why there are many shattered lives and unfulfilled people because they have heard and listened to statements and comments and taken them to heart and they end up going down a path which is not where they could, or perhaps even should end up.  Certain questions that are asked are probably best left alone, and some things should rather not be said in the first place because once they are out it is not easy to retrieve them, but it is difficult when you are asked an opinion and you give it only to have something influence your own thinking and you want to 'back track' on the comment but cannot do so because you have offered the view and the person has already accepted it.  In my industry we are asked to give advice and we quickly learn that we need to qualify what we say, so that it can be justified, or stand up in a court situation.  In life though we are not always so guarded and we speak from the heart and in emotional talk and this can cause more confusion and uncertainty than when we stick to facts.  Boring as it may be, less is probably more when it comes to expressing opinions. Whether it is saying sorry or expressing affection, or making a call to do something or not, all these notions are best left for consideration rather than speedy reply.  "Mean what you say and say what you mean, but only say it if you really need to"? Let us see what is made of these words!

Building Bridges

Relationships can be complicated and making sense of them can be interesting at best and confusing to say the least.  We have relationships on various levels and they range from family, to business, to friends and even enemies.  We are in more relationships than we sometimes think and trying to understand each one, may in fact be a full time job.  Oftentimes, we tend to blur the lines between what the nature of the relationships are supposed to be.  Some people are very different in business relationships, than they are in social circles, simply because of the nature of the work that they do, or the type of industry they operate in.  They are required to be a certain way, because it is expected of them, in order to accomplish the position they hold.  I used to think that it would be wonderful to strive towards the same personality at home and at work because then you could be considered a person with a consistent temperament, but i have interacted with many people over the years and notice they too have a similar predicament, in that in order to be effective at what they do, they need to bring our certain parts of their personalities to get the job done and the fact is that these traits are not always necessary in the home context, or in social circles. That is why the relationships we keep are important and to have the right friends or colleagues, that can remind us of the situation we are in and help us to operate in life between the various spheres of society. Relationships also obviously change with time, with stress, with years and they are work in progress, because some are more time consuming than others.  In our modern era, it does not surprise me that work relationships can sometimes be easier than social relationships, because we spend a lot more time daily in hours working on them, whereas because of our busy lives, we have less time to socialize and spend less time with other people.  messaging and social media also take away time from relationships so when we do see people we have not seen in a while, we are not always sure how they will react and it tends to leave room for "skinner" and back talk.  They could say you are too serious, if you start asking in depth questions and many times they can think you are too nosy, if you press certain opinions home, when they want to waffle about the weather.  In business we are trained to deal with complicated situations and peoples demands and we get used to them.   Finding the perfect balance in relationships is a myriad of complex interactions and only a psychologist trained to understand them may have the answers.  Until then we can only try!

Well ... now or later!

I cant help but thinking that sometimes instead of having a tantrum and worrying over all that is happening around us, if it is not better to take a day to think through a response and not to go charging in, when you actually have the time to formulate a suitable and more strategic response. There is obviously such a thing as immediate reaction to a problem, or decision, or situation and although gut feel helps, it is often clear in hindsight that it was far better to have considered the problem and answered after a time, instead of giving a singular immediate response, which ends up being a response which results in a second comment or reaction to the situation.  Holding back a response to some is very difficult, because they need to vent the reaction or comment, as soon as possible, like it needs to come out, rather than waiting for a better time and place.  They are able to formulate the problem and are very fast in dissecting the important parts of it and then starting immediately towards the solution. They would believe that they then get going sooner towards to the end result, instead of waiting  for the time to rob them of swiftly dealing with events.  Others are more cautious with a response, so that they rather explore all the facts before heading off on a challenge.  They believe more in the motto of slow to anger and react and faster to a solution, because of clear thoughts and less emotions.  They prefer to de-clutter the problem from the emotive side and seek a carefully considered and measured response.  I think that there may be merit in both options, but which one to choose in a given situation, is the difference between silence which is not so "golden" and relief from a tense situation.

Let me tell you again You are the Best.

There is nothing worse than the feeling of giving encouragement and support when in fact the person to whom you are giving it, just does not hear it, in the way that you are describing.  I find that encouragement is such a fine art and skill and it fascinates me at how difficult it truly is, to motivate people with encouragement and kind words, when mostly people seem to respond, to harsh facts and brash characters.  It would be incredible, if every time we gave an encouraging word the recipient went on to great things and we would constantly feel like we have made the difference, in that person's success.  But mostly the very persons that try to encourage us, are the ones that we scorn and take things out on, when situations turn bad.  We suddenly forget the parts that do not suit us, or those things that we don't really want to deal with and we are very quick to blame circumstances around us and the people that we are forced to "work" with.  All words we receive are not necessarily soft and sympathetic, but the best words are those that truthfully try to share with us and help us in whatever we are going through.  I would rather have that daily and the honest forthright convictions of someone, than false and hypocritical words of wisdom, which come loaded with ulterior motives and impure hearts.  So when you next encourage, do so with sincerity, and compassion and always take into account the feeling and perceptions of those to whom you have committed your encouragement. Encouragement, should be selfless and not intended to get something in return, but when the fruit pours from the person that you have encouraged, then let your heart sing with joy and may you sit back and humbly give thanks for the opportunity to serve.

What kind of Party are you going to have?

Kiddies parties can be rather stressful place, when you don't know a soul and you are expected to mingle. But they can certainly be a place of learning.  In some ways, they can for adults be more intimidating than speaking to a crowd of people, because at least they will hopefully sit quietly and listen to what you have to say. It is a bit harder, when you are thrust into a social context, where kids run off and mingle so easily and yet the parents need to hang around and get to know each other. Today I used the time to study how the kids operate in a social context and realised how much we as adults, should be learning from them.  There are several different personalities and yet no sign of discrimination. They speak freely to each other even though they have just met and they mingle in and out, with all those at the event. Kids are effectively good at networking, they talk about current affairs they share and they interact without fear of rejection, prejudices and class. They are unaffected by insecurities and attitudes and they just get on without worrying about wealth and where you live and what you do. It is less about station in life and more about letting your hair down and having fun.  As adults we spend so much time consumed by what others think and how we will be perceived, if our outfit is right and if we said the right things.  We sometimes agree with others, when really we do not share the same view and we often make small talk instead of getting to the thrust, or meat of a conversation.  I am not saying we should argue without fact, but we too often smile and wave, when kids just get into the conversation straight away and say 'yes' they like it and 'no' they don't.  There is also a lot more forgiveness in the children and they tend to get over things way more quickly if they get hurt.  Next time you are at such a party, watch the way they deal with problems and issues and realise like I do, that I should "eat more cake at parties".

An Open Book is an Open Book.

Your presence must make an impact, otherwise your absence won't make a difference.  How you leave others after an experience with you, becomes your trademark and therefore it is very important to take the opportunity when it comes, to make a suitable impression on those you connect with.  You may have a short time with them and the context in which you meet with them, may be business orientated, or on a social level. The circumstances become less important than the way in which you conduct yourself.  The old traditional things are still relevant, in my opinion, such as looking someone in the eyes, extending a firm handshake, having manners and remaining humble in the way you treat others.  Always treat those you meet for the first time, in the same manner in which you yourself would like to be treated.  These may seem archaic or even rather cliched, but they are still the foundation of contact with others and best not lost.  Unfortunately in my view some aspects of technology, have resulted in personal contact being less personal and human interaction is becoming far less personal and far more guarded - you need to cross various firewalls to penetrate a personality.  Nevertheless, our country still has people with personality and interaction with others is a very positive aspect of our society.  Time is another factor which is constantly being eroded and this to is an essential part of making an impression, when interacting with others.  Do you take the time to acknowledge others and grant them an opportunity to speak, or offer a different perspective to yours, or do you rather cut them down, giving them little or no time, to interact with you.  Have patience with those who are older, less educated and less skilled than you and make sure, that the questions you ask are of a genuine nature and not cryptic, or false.  Above all, be the person you normally are in front of others and the impression you make, will at least, if nothing else, be a genuine reflection of the person you are striving to be.

Thank God for Success

How would you describe successful people, would it be those who have achieved wealth, or status, or fame, or would it be measured in the amount of friends and acquaintances a person has.  Could it be due to a particular set of skills, or talent for something. Are successful people defined as such, due to their personalities, or manner in dealing with other people or situations.  Do they have a presence that says that they have arrived, or could they be ordinary humble people that mingle with us a on a daily basis.  Firstly, I think that it has been proven many times that success does not lie in financial terms only.  Many a wealthy businessman has gone to his grave without being known as a successful person and there are many examples of very rich people, that have no personality, or are even considered as "chops".  Moreover, success cannot be measured merely in terms of talent, because again countless examples exist of those that have all the talent in the world, but squander it for drugs, alcohol and other vices.    The simple truth perhaps exists that successful people are those that are able, with grace to take hold of the God given talents, or skills with which they have been blessed and to use them in a manner that allows others to be affected positively by their interaction and leaves an indelible mark on you, that you come away from a meeting, or interaction with them feeling wholly uplifted, encouraged, or impressed.  You feel like you would want a connection with the person and you long to associate with the person again.  It is the ability to learn from such people and to have the faith to believe that within each of us lies a life of success,  if we are willing to surrender worldly attributes, materialism, external qualities and find our true North.  

Don't waste the W's

Today I am going to focus on something, which I came across on the net about the five "W"s and their significance in our lives.  They stand for Who, What, Where, When and Why.  They bring together the various elements in our lives and give an idea of events and meaning in this journey of life.  'Who' we are is very important to all the others, because it is indicative of the type of person we are and what we have learnt thus far, to be able to reflect our nature on others and how they see us in the future.  It takes years of maturing, to get to a place where we know who we truly are and sometimes this process goes way into adulthood and certainly does not stop when we become adults.  Many experiences and feelings lead us to a place where we are comfortable in the person we are and we can accept the 'who' that we are.  'What' we are refers more to our station in life and the set of skills we apply daily.  It refers to a profession or a vocation or even a passion and it may have been established by studies, learning, or general life experiences.  Never think that because you have a degree that this defines what we are and I know many people that are more in life because of the life lessons they have accepted and chosen, than those that flash a fancy piece of paper in front of you.  'Where' you are in your life, depends largely on the goals and dreams you have set and with what purpose, you are striving to achieve the things that you have set out to accomplish.  It may have taken several failures and attempts, but hopefully you are on a path to a destination that you have chosen and where you are headed, is a place that gives you joy, happiness and fulfilment, all of which are incredibly important, in making the journey of life, worthwhile.  The next question is 'When' you as a person feel that you have arrived.  Worldly standards probably suggest that this is around the time that you are financially independent and can afford to choose the things you wish to do, but I believe, more in a time when you know that you are fulfilling the purpose you have in life and when you are going from worldly success to a place of significance.  It is a time when you are at peace and content with all the 'W' before this and you know your life has a meaning.  This is then the final W being 'why', because we all long to know why we are here and why we have been placed on this earth at this very time.  I don't believe in a random world and universe, but rather a specific life chosen and granted to us, to use to the glory of the maker of the universe and which life we are to live to the fullest in whatever capacity, station and vocation we are granted.

Are you Barking at Loyalty.

Loyalty is one of the most important things, in a complete life.  In order to be considered as a truly good friend and one that can be trusted to be there, whether the times are good or bad, is often and largely as a result of an ongoing display of loyalty.  Loyalty is something to be truly treasured, when it becomes evident, but it takes many heartfelt moments and situations to show itself for its full value.  It is made up not only of small gestures of respect and care, but it can be evidenced by major moments in life when a serious stand needs to be made.  Choices are common place in business and life and most times they lean towards a relationship and how that relationship is to be exercised and managed.  Being loyal is an integral part of friendships and relationships, which takes us through hard times and moments of fear, anxiety and uncertainty.  It is often heard in business these days that "if you want loyalty then you should get a dog".  The implication is that maybe loyalty is a dying characteristic and one which is not as much required, as in the past.  However, I certainly believe that the opposite is true and that more than ever, true loyalty is what counts and takes centre stage in my business dealings.  I would almost say that it would be preferable to be poor than to be dishonest, but realistically I feel that this gives too much emphasis to money and more is to be made of the reference to poor in the sense of human traits and less about the Rands and cents.  Being poor in ones soul and forgetting the value of being honest, will result in a situation where the rest takes care of itself and justice is served in the end.  We don't all need to be the richest in the world, but having honest dealings and having loyalty as a banner, will result in a wealth of a different kind, like worthwhile relationships, good friends, uncomplicated transactions, peaceful relationships and clean deals.If loyalty is compared metaphorically to a dog, then it should certainly be a royal pedigree.