These are some of the Rules

Here are some simple Rules in life.  Firstly if you don't go after what you want in life you will never have it. Of course that does not mean forsaking everyone else, or the important things in your life, but it means that you need to be relentless in the pursuit of that which you have set out to do.  You will get a lot further in your quest if you commit your time and effort to that which is meaningful and personally motivational to you. Secondly, if you do not ask the answer will always be no.  There are many sayings like nothing ventured nothing gained and if you don't ask you will never receive.  We need to pose questions of the type that signify new opportunities and new possibilities.  By not asking we are limiting the possibilities of success and we are opening up to the chances of misunderstanding and wrong presumptions.  Sometimes we need to pose the hard questions and although we expect a particular answer, we may be surprised to find that the answer contains new possibilities and opens new doors.  No one has ever truly succeeded with a goal or dream unless they have asked many questions of how and why and what if.  Thirdly if you do not step forward you will always be in the same place.  It is very easy to think that you are growing or moving to a better place, but all the while you are really standing still.  Once you start to move you will find that the view and the surroundings could change, or look very different.  They may not even be the rosy place that you expected but the fact is that you will be moving and whether slowly or quickly the question is rather the fact that momentum is gathering and you will be nearer to the goal you have set and not further.  It is not always easy to move because we are afraid, or concerned about the consequences, or what other may think, but the consequences of not trying are far harder to endure than even a failed effort.  And when in doubt try and try again.

Don't mistake a loner for loneliness??

Sometimes it is a somewhat harsh reality that everything in your life is a reflection of the choices you have made.  If you want a different result then you have to make a different choice.  But letting go of things is often a lot harder than it sounds.  Some people are strong enough to walk away and others are not.  Some possess the ability to be alone and appear to be able to remain independent or even seem content to be alone, without obsessing about having others around to ensure their happiness.  It may be that some are able to mange and cope with both the loneliness and the freedom of being alone and it may even present them with the opportunity to really dig deep inside, focus and realise that they have the capacity to love and cherish others without addiction or extreme dependency.  Their happiness is not affected per se by the involvement or influence of another.  This is a rare character and is probably daunting to most.  I suppose that there may be merit in the fact that such people can go about their life in the knowledge that they can love freely and openly when the right circumstances present themselves, because they are just content and happy in themselves and have learnt that the greater capacity and fulfillment of love exists in the place of sharing that love.  It is such people that may have a greater capacity to love because they take nothing for granted.  They make choices to love and care and they grow continually with confidence and a deep sense of appreciation for what they have.  Such people are to be admired and should not be judged,.  So no matter how hard it may seem to give up the comforts of "togetherness"for reasons of time, comfort or protection from fear or pain, consider a thought for the people that traverse the planet alone, but with a plan and dream to fulfil - and a massive ability to love.

It is surely around the corner!

We have all made mistakes and those that care about us, have either ignored those mistakes, or forgiven them fully and without a grudge.  We need the people that care to accept us when we have dark images about ourselves and when we feel "ugly"inside and every now and then we need to be lifted to new places and encouraged to believe that we remain beautiful, or good looking or smart. Who will restore us when we feel broken and make us feel whole again, who has the ability to lift us up and remind us how precious and important we are, despite guilt or disappointment, or uncertainty. How many times do we feel confused and unsure and the right words spoken and the caring attitude or demeanour makes all the difference - we can choose to be people like this and thus have the expectation that when our turn comes, we will receive the same type of treatment, or we can expect that we will be left disappointed and shattered.  You can pretend to be something other than who you are in these times, but ultimately you will run out of options, because that is not the authentic and genuine 'you'.  So hang on to those that truly believe in you and never give up on something you really want.  Even then, if you feel yourself outgrowing others and drawing closer to your real purpose, be sure that those that mean the most in your life will have the courage and determination to stay with you and see that your path is cleared from time to time, so that you can reach your dreams. When it comes to making a big change in your life, the fact is that you have to want it more than you fear it.  When that happens and the right people are with you, then the destiny you want is close at hand.

Tried and Tested

Surround yourself with people that force you to do better and the results can be very fulfilling and open up creativity, passion and growth.  But it is not always that easy to determine exactly who the people are that can make a difference to your life.  Some choose to surround themselves with as many people as possible, so that they can then gleam a little from each one, so as to assimilate as much knowledge or information.  Others try to stick close to one or 2 people who they really study and get to know well.  This enables them to mould their plans around such people.  However you chose to do so, the importance of seeking men and women of integrity, strength and success is well advised.  You need to look for a connection somewhere in a conversation with them, or make an effort to ask meaningful questions and then hopefully if they are the type of mentors that you think, they will open up and share their secrets with you.  Gender is not a factor in my opinion and we can learn from men or women equally. They key is the ability that they possess to make you strive to do better and to give fuel to your belief of change and development.  Age too should not be a factor as there is much to be learnt from older and younger business people.  However, I do think that experience and having gone through the up and down curve, can be useful because this will lead to a more balanced understanding of what life can throw at one over the years.  Be grateful for any interaction you have with people that push you and grow you because they are the ones that will have the greatest affect on your growth.  See every interaction as a chance to learn something more and use the pressure they exert on you to test your pursuit of excellence.

What a FEAT!

THE PERSON WHO SAYS IT CANNOT BE DONE SHOULD NOT INTERRUPT THE PERSON DOING IT.  This is is an ancient Chinese proverb and makes a lot of sense.  Having attended a splendid evening last night listening to ordinary (dare I say it) people like me who have chosen to challenge themselves and stretch their boundaries to new places in the name of adventure.  It is incredible how they search and strive for moments of peace and fulfilment and the lengths they are willing to go to to achieve incredible dreams.  Age is only a number and whether you are young or 60 makes little difference in the attitude displayed towards making these dreams a reality.  I have always enjoyed setting goals, but recently I have learnt that it is just as important to set a date to a goal. Every one of the people who spoke yesterday at the FEAT function set goals with a specific date in mind.  Whether it was running 10 comrades in 10 days or traversing 2000 miles down a river in a canoe, each person began with a dream.  They then began to dissect the dream and attach mini goals to the dream dealing with aspects like planning, sponsorships and training.  Each mini goal was ticked off and as the date of completion came closer they grew in their belief to accomplish the feat. We need be careful to support and encourage where possible those people, that are determined to reach their goals and there is nothing like being part of a winning team when all the hard work comes together and the victory is achieved.  Don't be afraid to set goals, which seem close to impossible, but make sure that you agree the date and terms with the right people and there is no doubt that you can overcome far more than you could ever imagine and have happiness in bucket (list) loads!!

The Struggle!

The Search is what everyone would undertake if he were not stuck in the everydayness of his own life.  To be aware of the possibility of the search is to be 'onto something' - not to be onto something is to be in despair.  That is why we need to be unafraid to be open minded, because our brain is not going to fall out - on the contrary as we open our thoughts, we will find that there is a place for our every day endeavours, the run  of the mill things we need to do, to get by and "pay the school fees of life" but then there is also time to interact with positive and trusted people, who can help us to open our minds to the possibilities that we can achieve.  They are the ones that put new ideas in our minds, help us to be creative and put us onto things which will eventually take us from dreams to reality.  In our business each new transaction begins with a property search and the information gleamed from this search puts us in a position to know what lies ahead in the process and where certain steps need to be taken.  It is time to conduct a search in our lives as well and to gather the necessary information and steps needed to accomplish your goals.  We need to know that there is always a choice available to us to put aside the mundane and grab hold of special possibilities, special moments and new beginnings despite the fact that they may be challenging and may test the definitions we have been taught, or the expectation that others may have set for us.  Those things are not relevant because they close our minds to the possibilities of better success and happiness.  The challenge is to direct our everydayness towards our goals, through the search and to get to new everydayness which is without despair and disappointment and filled with hope and purpose.

Stop the Clock!!

Life's clock is ticking.  I came upon this wonderful quote which states:

The clock of life is wound but once,
And no man has the power
To tell just when the hands will stop,
At late or early hour

[It is so true that what we have on this earth is temporary but it is so worthwhile to get up every day expectant of success and a future and to celebrate what we have - without arrogance or bitterness or regret]

To lose ones wealth is sad indeed
To lose ones health is more
To lose Ones soul is such a loss
As no man can restore

[Finances and money are such an invaluable tool to make our lives easier and more comfortable and there is nothing wrong with striving o be successful in money terms, setting goals and using the resources we have to make our lives more fulfilling, but our health and souls are far more precious.  we owe it to ourselves and those we care about to take care of our health end fitness and to be committed to filling our bodies with a balance of good food, exercise and a little decadence - in my case great coffee, fantastic wine and pizza!]

The present only is our own
Live love toil with a will
Place no faith in "tomorrows"for
The clock may then be still

[i like the fact that it speaks of toil and hard work should not be forgotten but the importance is doing what we are passionate and care about.  There is very little we can do about tomorrow and yet we worry and plan and fret about what could happen tomorrow - love is critical to our future but it starts with today so love what you do, love the people that matter around you and be open not only to receive love, but to give it as well]

This is why we should never give up on something that we really want.  We may not end up with a perfect life but we may have a happy one.

Set the Frequency to Reality

Occasionally when we have experienced a wonderful day, or the world around you came to a stop due to a special moment, or you have been on a trip somewhere, we can become swept up in the possibilities and forget the reality.  Take these lyrics, "decisions as I go, to anywhere I flow, sometimes I believe a time where we should know, I can't fly high, I can't go low, today I got a million, tomorrow, I don't know." A real reality check, because life can be messy and complicated and we are best to "stop crying like you're home and think about the show, we are all playing the same game." We all have a single life and a story to tell and live out.  We have decisions to make and risks to take - ultimately they are our decisions, good and bad, painful and joyous - "this is our call, we rise and we fall, dancing in the moonlight, don't we have it all?" Are we equipped to make decisions that affect the lives of others and can change lives forever.  Probably not, but we have help in friends and inspirational stories of success and adventure.  They are there to provide perspective and sensible advice in times of doubt and uncertainty.  They will inspire us to keep going and raise our belief in things yet unseen, but truly desired.  Reality is not there to convince us that the glass is indeed half empty, but it is there to remind us to check what is in the glass.  It is irrelevant sometimes whether the liquid of our lives is half full and half empty and either may be OK to survive but if the glass is even filled a little with poison, then the impact is far more pronounced and potentially devastating.  Don't knock reality because you wish to remain a positive person, even those accused of being pessimists and always seeing the negative, may be trying to seek the reality which will give them the motivation, guidance and self belief to take the next positive step. Embrace reality and she will pay you back with understanding, opportunities to learn and to feel the warm and the cold, so that when the success comes, it will taste as sweet as 'fig preserve'.

Round and round we go - making circles so that we grow.

I had a dream the other night about how we only get one life.  These are the words of a recent hit song, but they certainly hold true.  For me it is the 2 parts of this lyric that hold the most meaning. The first is the aspect of dreaming.  Whether we call it a bucket list, or a major goal, or a dream, the importance of setting things ahead of us to reach and attain are very important to our ability to cope with a long life.  Without these dreams, we will remain totally caught in the mundane nature of life, work and relationships.  They will not change and they will only repeat themselves over and over, because the nature of life and history is cyclic and returns constantly to the beginning point to start again.  Sometimes the circles of life have a larger circumference and it takes longer to get back to the same place and sometimes the circles are small and regular, but in either situation they remain cyclic. Dreams have the ability to change the nature of our circles and to deviate the circumference in such a manner that new circles may be formed.  The secret is to get the timing right, so that the circle continues to flow, but merely flows in a new circumference.  It is definitely possible to change your circumstances and dreams are the mechanism, to get you going.  The second part of the lyrics that struck me is that we only get one life - one giant circle.  It is expanding and contracting every day and it is a true privilege to be in our circle of life for another day.  Our circle expands and contracts as we go through life and in reality we may actually get close sometimes to having our bubble burst, or our circle closing.  We may not even be aware of it and this is why we need to seize every opportunity we get because what we make of our lives is so worth it, if we happen to reach a good old age.  We have the ability to push the boundaries of our circles of influence, by being in the right places, having the right relationships and creating the breadth and width of our happiness.  The object of life cannot be to go around in mini circles like a hamster on a wheel.  It surely means taking long moments of reflection, spending our time wisely and doing the things that make us truly happy.  This will allow us to finish the lyrics of the song and finish the sentence of our life ... "woke me up right after 2 stayed awake and ......".

Grenache

I was sitting with someone recently, as we were trying various bottles of wine.  Upon tasting the wine he immediately turned up his nose and stated that the wine had turned.  However, to a normal person the wine may well have been fine to drink.  I sat there without the knowledge to argue and although I thought he was being a rude, arrogant chop, I was not able to challenge his view because I did not have the expertise or the confidence to express an opinion.  The difference lies in the knowledge of a subject and how sure we are through experience, skill and knowledge of our opinion relating to a specific topic or relationship.  If we have the skill and knowledge then we need to share this, through our opinion or actions, but the key is the manner or attitude with which we deliver the message.  For no matter how much of an expert we are on a topic, the recipient will only really accept and take note of the facts you have expressed if the way in which you express the opinion, is well received.  Take my example, the manner in which the guy announced that the wine was turned was loud and arrogant and as a consequence he may very well have been correct, but no one liked him and thus probably discounted his announcement.  Had he however managed to get the message across with the right attitude he may well have not only convinced us at the table, but also we may have asked when the next bottle was served, what his opinion of the wine would be.  Sometimes we get frustrated because we know the answer to something clearly and we just want to blurt it out.  We are absolutely sure of the answer and that what we would suggest would definitely work and potentially make ourselves and others far happier, but unless we find the right words and the recipient receives the message with a manner of clear understanding, it may well be that we will have to repeat the story a number of times. However, most people simply give up because the reaction they get is not what they expected or wanted, and they simply doubt their ability to package a view or words, in such a way, that can be understood, so they simply back out of the conversation or relationship opportunity because their confidence has been broken.  Don't be the loud opinionated idiot that shouts the odds above all, but also, don't be afraid to voice a humble opinion, when you know you can contribute.  And above all have another glass of wine.

Mind over Matter

The answers you seek never come when the mind is busy, they come when the mind is still.  You need to try to learn how to activate your mind to answer nagging concerns and questions and you need to be focused on the thoughts you have and how they fit into the larger scheme of your life.   It is said by some that "stil bly is ook 'n antwoord" but that is only when we are uncertain or unable to answer quickly enough because our mind is not activated when having the conversation.  Keeping quiet in order to wait upon answers or to open up your thinking is a positive thing, but keeping quiet for the sake of not offending others, or for fear that you may say something wrong is not healthy to an active mind.  It may be that your mind is active for good reason, because questions lead to answers and answers lead to decisions, which in turn result in actions which can unlock growth and success and happiness.  We can only figure out the burning questions if we enter the framework of the discussion with an a positive and honest mind.  It is also pointless to face challenges with a mind made up, or closed to any alternatives or options.  Life needs to be tested and the answers we think that we have today may not be the same in a year from now.  We need to allow for slow change and some dreams to take a lot longer than we could ever hope or think and similarly for immediate gratification at some occasions, because all the options have been considered and the decision is worth pursuing despite the risk or pain or ramifications to others close to us.  It may not be all bad to have an over active mind and you certainly do not have to apologise for where it can take you.

Speak all is forgiven.

Last night I sat at a wine auction amongst the conversations and it was interesting that one of the winemakers was explaining how they came to name and present the logo on the wine and the story behind the bottle.  It was evident that a lot of time and effort had been spent in the presentation of the bottle and made me think that the way we present and communicate a message whether through a wine bottle or in a letter or as we speak to people, it is often just as important as the message itself. The reason for this is because assumptions are made from the way we speak about something and said to people who really care, will result in them taking in the message and acting upon it.  We have to be careful not to say too much because the more we say and the less we do exactly what we say, the more our integrity is diminished.  Some bottles of wine have a whole history of info on them, while this particular bottle that I was staring at had just the salient information.  Of course it had to contain the standard terms and conditions, but even this was put in a manner that was positive, upbeat and strategic.  This principle applies all over and so whether you are a multinational corporate company or a sole proprietor or a small partnership like I am, getting the right message across is vitally important to how others perceive you and your intentions.  I will learn from this that we need not bottle up the facts with those that we trust, but yet we still have a responsibility to choose what we say carefully and in a manner that is respectful, positive and invokes growth and confidence.