Some things are best said.. well.

A couple of tips regarding communication which I certainly need a reminder of.  Some weeks are just a right off when it comes to discussion and sentence construction and one can only hope that the duster will be able to wipe clean the board fully and not leave a smear in the background.  Don't be silly about things that bother you and don't leave words unspoken, or incomplete.  Speak in full sentences, but don't say the same thing over and over.  Choose your words correctly and concisely and be specific and direct in what you say.  Maintain your composure above all else and look at people when you speak to them.   "Moenie doekies omdraai nie", meaning that to say things as they are is far better than to presume that you know will be the correct thing to say and your presumption ends up being wrong.  Don't create awkward silences because you are not sure that what you want to say is going to be understood wrongly, or get you into trouble.  Don't twist the truth, so that it suits you and don't be dishonest about what you say to people even if you know that there may be consequences.  Don't hold onto sentences, because you think another person may not forgive, because if they are not willing to, then there is probably a reason for it.  Steer clear of gossip and rather ask for the truth, than be told later what you already thought, or worse what you did not expect.  Try to say things in a manner that is uplifting and not harsh and avoid criticism or sarcasm as they never produce any positive results for you or the recipient.  Overall be Nice.  The moral of the story I guess is to keep it simple, don't try to know, or find out everything, accept what others say and have the right attitude, no matter what is going on in your head and in your situation. 

Touch, Pause .... Engage!

Learn from the past, but don't wallow in it.  No one enjoys hearing about how tough your life has been and why your circumstances are worse than theirs.  The quicker one realises that there is nothing you can do to retrieve the past, or push the re- record button, the better equipped we become to take on life's challenges.  The mistakes you may have made and the decisions that haunt you, are certainly not going to change the facts, so to spend time reflecting on how and where you may have gone wrong, is a true waste of time.  And it is most certainly, precious time.  Every day has but only a few moments, which should be captured and savoured and held in your heart, or etched in your memory.  You cannot take all 24 hours and hope to achieve a perfect 10.  The sooner you are able to move from the memory, to a place of reality, the quicker you will be able to influence your surroundings and your industry.  Worry does not empty tomorrow of its sorrow, it empties today of its strength.  Worry will eat away at the positive moments and the moments which are about to become part of your positive conscience and it will destroy your courage and a vision that things can be better, even if they end up being different or new.  Frustration hangs around like a car guard ready to pounce and take a snippet from every positive situation.  It can heap up and boil over and your tears will wash it clean.  If you need to shed a few tears, go ahead and do so, for it is not always a sign of weakness, or lack of strength. People cry, not because they are weak, it's because they have been strong for too long!  Finding that release will wash away frustration, anger and negative thoughts and put you back in pole position to push forward ONCE AGAIN.  

A Feather in your Cap

Sometimes you find yourself in a situation where you struggle to have control over your thinking and negative thoughts are flooding into your mind - that is the time to talk your way out of it with distraction.  Tell yourself if you have to that you are going to focus on something else right now.    Speak to someone that makes you smile.  Find something that makes you feel better.  Try encouraging yourself that you are strong and powerful and in control of your mind.  Look around you to change your focus.  Take the first thing that is in front of you and allow your thoughts to change your world.  Do not allow the strains of life to suffocate you from the calling to be happy and prosperous and victorious.  The sooner we realize that we cannot live the life we do not want the quicker we can get on with a good life.  We are entitled to be happy and to move forward for much more than a few reasons.  We can thank the people in our lives that make a difference to our upbringing and our formative years.  We can show gratitude to them for the sacrifices they made to get us to where we are now.  We can try not to take things for granted like support and assistance and care and we can be respectful of time and what others are willing to give up to bring us a little reprieve and a taste of happiness.  Take a hard look at those in your life and what they are doing for you and then celebrate them, build them up and grab some love for your own accomplishments and talents in the best possible way.

Rub out the chalk and start again

Every day is a clean slate.  Don't  think that you dare to give up on today, because of the way things looked yesterday.  Whether they were bleak or uncomfortable or frustrating there is always today to make things right and to succeed again.  Every day is a new day to try again.  If for any other reason because we owe it to ourselves, more than anything.  Try to start with the things that are not your favourite to do, that irritate you and are many times put on the back burner, because they are just not "lekker" to do. Ensure that the things you prefer not to do, are done first, because that will allow you time to enjoy the things that matter to you. We all tend to start with the things that we enjoy and leave little or no time to get to the things that hold us back, but such things in life make a difference to the end result and frankly they need to be done.  It is not about being boring, or a control freak, or stuck in your ways, it is about ensuring that all aspects of your life are attended to, whether we like them or not.  Those that are not our favourites,we then put them off and they end up heaping up.  This will affect you in your future, because they will not disappear but only remain to clutter up your life and rob you of your freedoms.  It will not be a mistake to tackle them head on, but rather another decision to rectify something that needs to be fixed and best for your future.  So fight the urge to just have fun and only do the fun things and rather exercise discipline and commitment to tick off a few of those 'bug bears' today.

That voice inside you head

Listen to your intuition.  We all have a measure of this even though it is often written, that woman possess far more than men.  When something feels right that means it is right for you.  It is rather personal and relates to you as an individual.  It is not about what you think others are thinking, or even what they have expressed to you, it revolves around what you are feeling inside and how it makes you feel.  Whether you are able to give expression to it, or whether you think others may not understand your intuition, can take you further than you think.  Think back to many situations in your life where a gut feel or intuition has led you to a new and better adventure, it has saved you from making a mistake and probably also provided many a confirmation of something you have been thinking about.  Intuition is by nature speculative, but with a sure feeling behind it.  Because it is a shot in the dark, it is often left unsaid and expressed in your mind or heart rather than in public.  Intuition should lead you to facts, otherwise it may be that it lets you down.  Not every intuition is correct  and you need to allocate enough thought and time behind it.  When something feels wrong, that means it is probably wrong for you.  Again that involves you personally and should not be taken to represent all others around you.  In fact you feeling something is wrong may be creating exactly the intuition to someone else, that something is right for them.  Owe it to yourself to pay attention to your authentic feelings and follow where they lead.  Don't shrink away from them, whether they are painful, loving, exciting or even overwhelming.  Intuition will save you a lot of wasted time in the future if you listen to its calling.

Give me some Self Control

Don't think for one second that you are in control of your life and its circumstances, because just when you are certain that you are fully in tune with what life has to offer, you find out that it is sending you on a different journey.  We can plan in general to succeed but we cannot be sure that the factors affecting our plans can't change.  Having a constant supply of patience and the ability to put yourself in a position or place, where you may find success, are as important as the resources you throw at a given task or project.  It certainly helps when there is enough money or resource, time and support to ensure that you can give your dream a proper go, but having a daily habit of professionalism, integrity and willingness to work hard and exercise a self discipline of daily effort, these are just as pivotal to the cause.  It goes without saying that you dare not give up for even a day,  because this will just come and bite you somewhere.  Have the energy to turn up every day to your chosen career and give it your all. Not a little, or with an attitude of partial fulfillment. No 100 percent every day.  Strive for a balance of passion, commitment and regular practice and very soon you will see the dividends paying off, hopefully in more ways than you think possible.

Soar like an Eagle in the midst of a Storm

What you are capable of achieving is heavily based on how much you want it.  When it means enough to you then you can do it.  Figuring out how and when the right time is, is never easy and finding a balance between what you think is the most important thing to you and the reality of what is actually the true realities of life are often blurred and veiled from our eyes.  This is because our eyes can be selfish and self centred and deceitful from reality.  However, when you are willing and committed and persistent you will get yourself there every time.  You can always take a small step in the direction of your dreams.  Because dreams are very big, they require more than a single step, they require many steps and a lot of patience.  They require more than a number of mistakes and failures and they require the one thing that most just cannot commit to - namely persistence.  There is absolutely nothing about your present situation that prevents you from allowing your dreams one step at a time.  Use each setback, each disappointment, as a cue to push on ahead with more determination then ever before.  Don't abandon the good you have in your life and make the effort to remember all the god things that you have experienced and hold them close for the tough steps towards your dream.

Ah no not another Pimple!

Nothing ever goes away until it has taught us what we need to know.  This is a very true statement.  We may from time to time try to fool ourselves into thinking that this is not so and that if we forget about something, or "put it out of our head", then the consequences will just be forgotten.  But life has a way of dealing with matters such as this and the hard reality it teaches us, is that we need to learn the full story and get the full picture, before we can think to move on particularly from a situation, which keeps rearing its head.  I hate the analogy (but I suppose that it does create a clear picture) of a pimple that is squeezed, but not everything comes out of it and thus it forms a new head, which if not removed, will stay for that much longer.  Firstly, if we try to remove it when the head has not yet formed, we actually do a lot of scarring, but we never get to the root of the issue.  We sometimes have to wait for a circumstance to be fully visible, or understandable before we can do something about it, because by then we probably have the whole picture and we can then take hold of the entire situation and begin to deal with it.  We can put warm water on the pimple, we can clean it and then we wait for the right time, when its head is ready.  I know that it presents a terribly ugly picture (but life is no easy place) but once we have opened it and removed it, there a real feeling of relief and it is like a huge burden, or pressure has been lifted.  We also know that the wound will bleed for some time depending on where it is and pain may accompany the process.  But we need to see it for what it is and that is a healing process, which is beginning and the opportunity for real learning to take place.  Only then, will we truly know that the lesson has been learnt and we realise within a few days, that this thing that was bothering us so much has disappeared from our lives.  Healing takes place quicker than we think when we are in the right place and life continues at its usual pace without letting up or worrying about the pimple we may have just had.  We sometimes have to be patient as we wait for the "head to form", but it will be worthwhile because we will then truly know the meaning of peace and happiness because we will have removed the obstacle for once and for good.

Shake it up bud!

You cannot be your best without first being yourself.  So much of success is about confidence and feeling passionate about an endeavour and how to accomplish it.  Negativity will merely gnaw away at the confidence and sow seeds of doubt and worry.  We need to be resolute and believe in the goals and dreams we set.  We need to take the best from each learning moment and nurture such thoughts and create a belief system, to convince our brains that we are able to do and be as good as we think we can be.  Success breeds success and the more determined we are to reaching our goals the more chance we stand of actually reaching them.  Be highly effective by being highly authentic.  It is no good merely copying from others or trying to do what is the norm, or the rules.  We need to get where we need to be, using our own unique gifts and talents and even though it is good to learn aspects of our goal from others whether through discussing or watching them ultimately, we need to discover our own unique way of accomplishing success.   Take a moment to reflect on the ideas and principles that have real lasting meaning in your life.  Always realign yourself with these things and make them your highest priorities.  If you are being pulled in every direction by forces beyond your control, take time to realign yourself with what you value most in life.  Get to the basics of the things which ignite you and make you happy.  What is important in your life, is what you decide is important and this decision will ultimately create who you are.  Whether it is popular or not, whether it has consequences or makes some less happy or comfortable, the only way to complete the race of life with your goals achieved, is to take hold of your yourself by the scruff of the neck and make it happen.

Getting to the right place together.

We need to make a promise to resist the notion of giving up.  As life rambles on and our decisions become more telling and significant to our future, we can be tempted to say this is "too tough" or "I can't see this working in the future".  These are exactly the times when we need to look at the things we have and which can motivate us - those things which have played a role in our decision making in the past and which can motivate us to continue on our path as opposed to coughing in the towel.  We all go through times of greater and lesser motivation and success is often short lived.  There are very few guarantees in business life these days and no sure thing in relationships.  It is about finding the right partners and then looking for commonalities and areas where the core expectations, core values and a common goal, or purpose are the most telling aspects. If these core values are too far apart the relationship will falter and yet if the goals and dreams are the same, then the success that is borne from this relationship can bear major fruit, for a long time.  Sometimes I think that it is better to start at the beginning and really get to know what the path is, to forge the path together and work at the things which need to be the things in your organisation which establish the culture, things like professionalism, passion for what you do and unbending integrity even when the industry or the competitors choose to do it wrongly.  Eventually the right people end up with the right people and even if it takes some time, the results are worth the wait.

Rock on Baby

There is a big difference between being busy and being productive. Our lives are constantly on the move these days and thus being busy is a very common thing.  There is so much between careers, relationships, finances, and ambition to keep us busy for years on end.  How often do we not respond to people when they ask how we are, by saying "I'm so busy".  But don't confuse motion and progress.  We can be as busy as all hell, but if we are not using the time to produce results, then chances are we are going to make little or no progress.  We are probably in the wrong place.  A rocking horse keeps moving, but never makes any forward progress.  Many people are like that and we need to protect ourselves from falling easily into this habit.  This is what it easy a nasty habit that creeps in one day and stays for a lifetime if we are not careful or willing to make a change.  We can stay in one place moving back and forth, but never progressing, staying comfortable within a bubble which does not move.  You can't achieve what you do not attempt.  Everything in life comes from an attempt.  Everything!! It may seem like the biggest risk of your life but if you never make that attempt you will never have the chance to realise that there is something better than you could imagine. The simple truth is that the path between wanting and having, is doing.  It may be that the right thing and the easy thing is rarely the same thing, so while we have the chance, we are better off doing what matters and not merely what is convenient.  There needs to be some fulfilment in what we do and not merely what is easy.  Our choices need to give you strength and motivation to succeed.

Change is necessary.

This is true, whether we are willing to surrender to it, or not.  Change is the process of life itself and there is very little we can do, other than to embrace the moment here we find ourselves in and move forward despite what we feel, or what we would like to be the outcome.  In fact some may say that everything is changing every second of our lives.  Perhaps we are naive, if we think that we can just stay in a place and it will be like a fairy tale for decades to come, but there is definitely a chance in life, to live better and a more fulfilling existence even with change.  Change in other words need not always be for the worst.  It may be very good and although some of the counter changes and effects may not be perfect to others around you the main change in itself could be life giving and not life threatening.  Change which is positive, can also be repeated so that it happens on more than one occasion and once changes keep appearing which point in the right direction this is a good indication of where you need to be and where you are headed.  However good or bad the situation is now, it will change.  That is one thing you can count on.  So never assume that you are stuck with the way things are. You can extract yourself from the monotony of life and you need not get stuck for too long, in a place, which may be comfortable, but is not the best life can offer to you.  Life changes and so can you.  People cannot be responsible for making you happy, because things change and they need to take care of what makes their lives fruitful and joyful.  However, what certainly can happen is that as people change, they find that they have the ability to make their spouse, friend or family even happier by their own changes.  So remind yourself, to take a breath of fresh air, from time to time and think seriously about what changes you want to make.  The past is long gone.  So spending time on what has gone before, serves very little purpose.  Focus rather on what you can do, not on what you could have done, or should have done.

Complete the dots and find the full picture

Everything is falling together perfectly even though it looks as if some things are falling apart.  It is difficult to see the whole picture while one is in the midst of life, especially when there is expectation and responsibilities around every corner.  It is not often that one gets to completely shut off from the world and refocus your attention on the task ahead of you.  But finding some time to find peace and calm is utterly necessary.  We need to trust in lifes' process.  Life is a circle and as a consequence you will be given opportunities to deal with most situations more than once in life.  The implication is that you will get a chance to make amends for errors and mistakes and similarly you may get a chance to repeat some of the best occasions in your life.  It is a matter of believing with a positive attitude that you can achieve those moments of enjoyment and growth and happiness, more than just once or twice in your lifetime.  It is about building a pattern based on the good things life has to offer and committing your time and energy to those times and people that make the difference.   Happiness is allowing yourself to be perfectly OK with what is, rather than wishing for and worrying about what is not. It is not about waiting for a perfect time and place, but rather about taking timing that is now and using it fully, to build into the next season, which can be even better.  You can expand your circle of life and get closer to happiness in your work and personal life, as well as in your relationships. See the chance of a better future and a happier time, live your life, despite its risks and dangers and give yourself a chance to complete your circle, with as few regrets as possible.  When life is "falling apart" things could actually be falling together... maybe for the first time.

Drive Properly ....

Don't run away from things run towards them.  This is a good message because the best way to move away from something negative, is to move towards something positive.  We have to confront the things that affect us negatively and replace them with moments of real positivity.  We can never be  entirely rid of challenges and things going wrong, but we can certainly choose to adapt and face them with an attitude that no matter how difficult and painful, there must be a way to become free from the situation and to move forward to a more peaceful and happy place.  It takes determination and sometimes a whole lot of moaning and thinking (which are not always the best thing to do by the way, but they can help you to get things off your chest), but there must come a point when you decide that no matter what the consequences, that you are going to succeed in your endeavour and rise above the challenge, no matter what.  We can rationalise all the time that it may be easier to wait or to hold back, or to be patient, but in the end this may just be postponing an inevitable result.  It may feel like there is mud splattering on your face or that someone is driving right up your ass for no rime or reason, but the best thing to do is to show the situation the finger and to believe that the breakthrough is merely a matter of time. 

Worry is not worth it

Worry is the biggest enemy of the present moment.  Think of how many things we deal with during our daily lives and how if we worry about every aspect, we will find it difficult to function properly.  From work to personal matters, from basic things like water and lights, relationships, expenses,  we could worry about all the details for 24 hours a day.  But then where would be the mysterious nature of life.  Everything would be calculated and structured and boring.   Life should rather be a little enchanting and  filled with positive memories and daily instances, that can be recalled with ease and which will bring a smile to our faces.   Worry does nothing but steal your joy and keep you very busy doing absolutely nothing at all. It will not make you more productive or have an effect on your bottom line.  When you spend time worrying, you are simply using your imagination to create things you don't want. It sounds all too familiar but yet there is a lesson to be learned. 

Don't Deliberate but be Deliberate

Positivity always pays off.  You may not realise it at exactly the time when you decide to be positive but it eventually will make a difference.  It is true that your thoughts do not end when you finish thinking them.  Our thoughts set the tone to the way we conduct ourselves, the way we react to circumstances and other people and our thoughts either prevent us, or allow us to make choices, which affect the outcome of our destiny.  They continue to echo through your life. Therefore it is essential to chose wisely and deliberately. It makes no sense to be negative, rather be outrageously and unreasonably positive.  Be funny and creative and ridiculous and joyful all at the same time.  It is easy to decide to wake up less than happy with your circumstances and circumstances because there is so much to be negative about in the world today.  But to rise to a new day expectant of something good and that your day may start in a way as never before is brave and courageous.  Smile as often as possible.  A smile actually changes the vibe of your body. It alters physiologically the chemistry of your being.  It will make you feel better and do better.  There is not much to loose except maybe your pride and a few negative thoughts.

Let Go and Prosper!

We need to learn to let go of the need to complain about life.  How much time do we allocate to living life's beauty instead of complaining about it's hardships.  Yes, things certainly get harder as we get older, our commitments increase and our responsibilities are far more onerous than when we are younger.  Somehow life tends to stifle us and presents us with impossible choices and sacrifices.  It ebbs and flows more and there are many negatives to contend with, on a daily basis.  But how often are we guilty of using the phrase "I have to", as opposed to, "I get to" and when we are faced with a choice to take on the troubles and circumstances of others, we would pretty much most times, rather keep on with our own "problems".  We have to start allocating our best times to our purpose in life - this is not as easy at it appears.  We spend many hours studying and go through schooling all with the intention of finding a purpose and setting a goal to reach for the benefit of our future.  We are taught in society to have a purpose driven life and we make sacrifices accordingly to satisfy these ambitions.  But just as important, if not more, is that if we cannot instantly, where we are now, figure out our purpose, then we should at least figure out our passion.  What makes us tick and what the world is offering us at the moment.  I am pretty sure that we will find, that it has much to offer and the circumstances we are going through, contain many opportunities and moments of greatness, it is merely a question of grabbing onto them, as they flow by, instead of holding the ones which are negative and less than favourable.  Grabbing onto our passion, will most certainly lead us head long towards our purpose and what a life we can have, if our passion and our purpose collide and collaborate to make this life the abundant place it is meant to be.  Love life today and tomorrow and get to do what makes you happy, go out of your way to find passionate purpose.

Bull#$% Baffles Brains

What you experience starts with your perception.  The only thing stopping us from achieving a goal or a dream is ourselves.  And often we do a very good job of convincing ourselves that, that which we really want is too far out of reach, or too hard to accomplish, or simply far too difficult to follow through on.  Consequently we very quickly feel that we are blocked in our endeavor.  But when we think about, it there is actually nothing stopping us - nothing is holding us back except our very own thoughts about our selves and "how our life is" . Is is our new reality and very soon we believe that "it is what it is".  I know I have used that very saying many times.  We allow our perceptions to create our beliefs.  We think others think we are a failure for example and so very soon we end up believing that the person thinks we are a failure and yet they probably don't even know that that is the perception we have created.  But because our beliefs create our behaviors we have already started to act like things are a failure and we are living in this new perception all on our own, having thoughts that we can do no right.  Worse still by behaving in a manner that represents failure, we eventually produce the experience of failure and so when something negative happens we immediately turn to that experience or place, which we have believed and which we think came from the perception, we ourselves created.  The vicious circle is complete and we have ended up a failure.  Avoid perceptions which are negative and don't do your life any good. Baffle your brain with positive thoughts and beliefs and very soon your belief system will be one of  victories, successes and accomplishments.

Attitude

I came across an article written on a website for parents on what things are worthy to tell your kids and was inspired by the content, to the degree that I think that it is worthy to dedicate the next few weeks of blogs to the topics contained therein, as they are extremely and equally relevant to people in general.  I would like to start with the first key which relates to Attitude (one of my favourites).  Attitude is a little thing that makes a big difference.  It is very easy to base your attitude on how things are.  Maybe you are feeling overwhelmed and stressed about your circumstances.  Consequently you may become down and negative.  Maybe you want to do something, or have something and if affects the way you think, or even your whole attitude to life. You become distracted, by the possibilities and options and forget that daily life is still gong on around you and that other people are not sharing the same set of circumstances and have moved on to another place or season in their life.  They are not dealing with the circumstances you are feeling, so expect them to be confused and unaware of your plight.  But this will never be the way to get the desired result.  You need to choose your attitude (which is within your control), so that it supports and expresses the way you wish things to be.  It is never the circumstances themselves that cause stress and frustration, but rather the way we respond and react to them.  Some things are best left alone to resolve themselves and we need to get on with what we can handle, instead of being held back by our mind telling us all the things that could happen.  Our attitude can not only affect our lives, but the lives of those closest to us and we only end up spreading the stress and bad attitude and this may be holding us back and keeping the door closed which a different attitude, could easily begin to open.