Say It don't Spray it!

When is it best to open up and share a concern, or an opinion and when is it best to let "sleeping dogs lie".  What happens if the things you say, may be hurtful, or if you know that they going to cause a reaction or consequences, which you may not have expected or forseen.  There are enough things in life, to give us headaches and most people do not need additional stress, or discomfort in their lives, in these times.  But how do we determine if the things we want to say are necessary, or just statements aimed at inviting a reaction.  I think that the defining thing is whether the comment or discussion, if left unmentioned, will result in you harbouring negative feelings towards the person, if you keep it to yourself.  Having said that it probably means we should rather speak more than less and get things off our chests sooner, rather than later.  But we are also taught that the power of life and death lies in the tongue, so we need to be very careful about what we say and how we say it.  Often we say things in the heat of the moment which is filled with emotion and not all ways rational, or reasonable. Sometimes, we only get a moment to make a comment or respond and we later regret the way the words flowed from our mouths, but I still think it is better to have said it, than waiting too long and then proceeding. The reason for saying something is then often gone and potentially the statement can cause more damage, than good. The perfect balance is to think immediately, if what you want to say is well placed and sincere, to steer clear of emotional outbursts and criticism you know will hurt another person and then finally to be level headed in the choice of your words. I think if you feel comfortable that you can say the words, while looking at the person in the eye, then the words are best said and not held back.