Pour me Another please!

Ok so the New Year has dawned and much anticipation lies in wait for the accomplishments and dreams of a fresh year.  Many people will be awakening to another reality this morning and that is of a whopping headache from too much wine last night -  I may myself even have had a little too much but IS that not the beauty of the substance we ingest and relish and which is so much a part of this country and its hopes and dreams - a new vintage 2015 will be on every bottle this year and will it be one to remember, an improvement on last year perhaps, a chance to correct mistakes made, or a less than convincing year.  The decision lies largely in what we are willing to put into the outcome. WINE - this country has so much to offer in that it has such a diversity of blends, like Pinot-noir, Chardonnay, Chenin-blanc and Merlot, we have some of the best in the world in each category.  So how can we afford to be irresponsible with what we have achieved by being corrupt in government, violent in our crime, unproductive in our industry and politics and duplicitous in our social policies like using BEE or race history to determine our futures.  Wine I say is the key (my mom would be proud of me saying it) - I am going to let it be my guide this year and this is why.  We should want to drink lighter red blends like the Pinot- noir because the dark days of the last few years economically need to go, to be put behind us and start a recovery, the heavy dark Cabs are gone and it is time to revive business and belief in a path forward and to seek the fruity flavours of successful business once again.  Chardonnays are making a come back and this should signify a sign that investment is to be renewed in our own country and by our own people. Chenin-blanc is there to assist us by not being as dry as sauvignon blanc and to teach us to start treating people with basic courtesy and respect on the roads, at work and in our socialising, and finally Merlot with its blended qualities giving it a more fruity flavour and also flexibility, which should be a sign to us all to be accommodating of our past, but not stuck in it and open to growing instead of suffering through the heavy tannins of the past.  I said previously that I will not compromise on good quality wine, because it delivers to our expectations, it is a catalyst to great social interaction, but does not leave you with a nasty hangover the next day, it brings calm after a tough day and helps us to unwind and stirs conversation, which leads to solutions and new ideas, it invokes passion if drunk in the correct dosage and with the right people and helps us to share our goals and desires, which leads to better relationships and excitement for a brighter future. No matter how it is bottled or packaged it remains a product of life and its outcomes.  Don't cork it and keep it for too long lest it become bitter (in other words share what you have in terms of knowledge, experience and ideas as the new way is to open it, celebrate and take in the flavours of 2015). Don't rush it (savour the opportunities you are given and take nothing for granted), try different varieties (take a few risks to see what makes you happy). Don't drink it alone (try to have fun, don't over analyze and make memories) and above all  make it a vintage never to forget.

How do you like your coffee.

There are a few things in life I believe you should not compromise on quality.  I have been criticised occasionally for being a bit of a snob when it comes to being fussy and tongue in cheek, I take offence to these insinuations, but in reality I am not phased one bit about them.  They are coffee, wine, ethics in business and good shoes.  So, because these items float my boat so much, I have decided to dedicate the next 4 days blogs to these themes and deal with them one by one.  Coffee is an obvious one to start with, as we start most days with our favourite blend and because over the years the dietitians have gone from "the stuff is so bad for you",  to "oh well a couple of cups per day is not too bad", to "well it actually is not bad for you", helps you before a workout and is now all over the place.  Even George Clooney who epitomises style and panache is endorsing Nestle coffee, in a variety of enticing adverts.  I think back so fondly to some of the best encounters, meetings, dates and great learning experiences have been centered around a cup of coffee.  It is so much like life that metaphors are easy.  It is a drink which makes you want to discuss intimate matters, catch up with someone special after a bad day, offering advice to a friend and clinching a deal, or new business.   There are so many coffee shops each advocating that they make the best blend and their beans are superior to any other.  Very much like businesses offering services.   It is interesting that we all have different tastes for coffee (and relationships) and for some espresso is the way to go (complicated and dynamic even if in a small quantity), others claim cappuccino to be the best (soft and smooth on top but once mixed with the foam the espresso comes through) and still others will convince you that an americano is the only way to start a day (strong in personality and constant in their texture and personality).  I think like so many other things our tastes change with time and like in life relationships, we may still love coffee, but over time we go from numerous cups of strong coffee, to that special cup during the day and finally to that espresso which may be small in volume, but gives so much to making your life perfect.  Coffee definitely takes you places and I have been privileged to drink coffee in many countries, each with their own style and unique memory.  It is like the differences we as humans have, and  what makes God's creation of us so unbelievable,  I decided several years ago that I would simply choose not to drink poor coffee and maybe it is a silly analogy to life, but since I made the choice to drink good coffee, I have also realised the quality of people and what makes them special or just a very plain and uninteresting blend.  Some have even been bitter and poor quality beans.  I am happy to spend money on good quality beans and the same on people who are worth investing in, because the reward on your investment cannot be over estimated and quality should be celebrated and praised.  I will no longer just drink a coffee for the sake of having it, and by the same token the people I relate to, will be of the same quality as the coffee that I consume.  Besides it is fun to take that first sip of the day and feel the blend hitting your senses.  I used to need sugar (people) to make the taste of some coffee (life) bearable but now I can drink it without sugar and as is (because life is so special to have in itself) - I have the opportunity to choose the taste and the strength of my coffee (IE the relationships I keep and nurture) and occasionally realise that I still want a second cup (a chance to make the second half of my life count).  I hope to be sharing a cup with you in the near future.

What are you packing in your Bag!

Today I was reading a men's magazine and the article was focused on an actor that has broken through this year and his career is now literally in stellar mode and I began to ponder the following,  "the baggage that is ourselves".  We all carry with us things that bug us and which we are not particularly proud of, but I know for someone like me, I get around my concerns by setting myself goals and constantly trying to improve aspects of my life, which I know have defects, or errors in them.  I suffer from the "uncertainty complex", where I am often unsure of what will happen if I do something I would like to do and I make presumptions on the outcome of a particular thing, before I have even completed the task.  Many times I believe that I in fact hold myself back, because I tend to talk myself out of the result and over-analyze instead of completing the adventure and then dealing with the outcome.  I think many people tend to do this, in that they don't believe enough that they can accomplish something and fall short of the goal for this reason alone.  In golf there is a saying that "you will miss 100 percent of putts that you leave short, which is so true, because unless you hit the ball to the hole, it will never have a chance of going in.  If there is one goal to set only this year, it will be to follow through on the goals which I have already set and in fact to see some of the putts go in this coming year.  In the past I have been excellent at setting goals, but too many of them lie incomplete through one reason only - me - I  rather don't believe that I can achieve it, or I allow doubt and uncertainty to hold me back.  There must be a reason that I set the goal in the first place, so why not believe in the outcome.  We have support from various sources and the importance of spouses, kids, family and good friends giving legitimate and honest input, is very significant, and goes a very far way in committing to the task, or goal one sets.  In business it is called a "buy in" to a concept or vision.  Once the team is on board, then it is up to the proponents to make it happen.  So unshackle yourself this year, empty your bags of uncertainty, fear, unbelief and pack the following into your travel luggage - a healthy goal, a supportive team, an unwavering discipline, faith that is simple and bold and a healthy sense of humour.

Can you remember the time we.....

Our lives are made up of a series of memories and the strange thing is that we only begin to grasp the significance and the importance of these experiences as we reach the second half of our lives.  When we are younger, we tend to go flat out in all we do and we live for the moment but only, until the next exciting moment appears on the horizon and we try to grab it.  We judge our accomplishments and lives according to the way it makes us feel at the time.  But as life progresses, we tend to judge the experiences based on the effect and influence, that the experience has on other people we care for and love.  It may sound cliched, but we must try to remember our memories.  Nostalgia is defined as "a sentimental longing or wistful affection for a period in the past".  It implies that you have the memory of an experience and you can reflect or dwell on it, with affection.  Maybe it is the place you started your married life at on a honeymoon, or maybe it is the birth of a child or the very first transfer you got, when you started on your own in your law firm.  Each memory has a value to it and we pack these into our brains until a trigger lets us recall and remember the event, or situation.  It is one of the most underestimated abilities we have and only watching elderly people suffer from dementia and alzheimer's, can truly make us understand the importance of every memory we are blessed with.  So tonight I challenge you to share your memories and use them to teach the youth, that have not yet had the chance to develop, or understand the value of good memories.  Be bold in how you explain them and this may either trigger a. fond memory for that youngster, or even be the start of a new memory.  So focus, when you listen to people and what I can truly still hope to learn herein is to give enough time to each person, to share their memories, because they contain hidden gems, not only for the giver, but for the willing and dedicated recipient.  

So How Ya Doing!!

My children as they are entering their teenage years, are currently giving me a fascinating insight into modern day relationships and I find this new way of getting to know each other rather absorbing, at times.  I watch as my son cuts through all the things that I spent years finding out with the few keystrokes of a whatsapp and I consider if there is not something to be said for this new way.  In my generation we spent so much time trying to get to know the other person before we felt safe to enter into a permanent relationship and this involved a series of dates and actual time spent together, but today the information is available in so many forms that by the time going steady or marriage comes, one wonders why so many modern relationships do not last.  After all, the parties have every bit of info about the other person?  Perhaps this in itself is the reason that relationships do fail, because the parties realise very quickly that they can ask the same questions of another person easily via a social platform and if they get a better or more preferable series of answers then they can rather switch over to that person, before they get too committed.  Shopping around and the options available are just about in every area of life and the unknown is no longer an attractive feature.  We teach our kids to ask questions and to look up the info before they go into any venture, job or relationship.  I am still somewhat undecided on the topic, because I think that there should be an element of surprise and compromise to make a relationship work in its entirety, but I am willing to see the positives in this approach that the youth adopt today and certainly think that when it comes to my business next year I have made a decision to become far more adventurous in finding out what my clients want and getting to know their needs and requirements a lot more than in the past.  I also want to make available my skills and experiences and hope that our Firm will also become noticed, in the arena we are playing in.  It is sometimes a scary thought that you could end up with the wrong person and before the commitment is sealed forever (and you have regrets and frustrations) perhaps the answer is to be more adventurous to find out what game you are playing in and to take the risks that match your requirements instead of merely "hanging in" for the sake of the way it has been done in the past. Having said that I think that our generation has the benefit of being able to use the modern technology, but at the same time being adaptable to change and a greater resolve to persist in what we are good at and this should help our generation lead the next into the future.  We may be a little slower on the information gathering, but I am sure that we can still achieve the best results needed from every situation and every relationship.

Your Table is Ready sir!

I looked around at the shopping centre today, as I waited for a table at Ocean Basket, (whoever said we are in a recession has not been around the shops in the last few days, but that is another topic) and as I glanced around I found myself looking at 3 different children being wheeled around the centre in wheelchairs with various, but permanent disabilities.  Tonight I thought that I would reflect on the blessing that we have the ability and independence to write and read and speak and walk, or run.  I know that this is a heavy topic and I intend to keep it short for good reason, but what a privilege to wake each day without disability.  We can celebrate this as much as having presents at Christmas or having a job to go in to in the new year.  My intention is not to be melancholy, but rather to say that without disability, we are free to search Gods kingdom on earth for our purpose and to give every task, relationship, friendship 100% effort, so that we do things in excellence, because frankly we can.  Those that cannot, are often not given a choice in the matter and the people that support them daily, such as parents and caregivers, have to give so much of themselves in the process, that it hardly fair to them.  Thus I feel that as healthy people we need to do our very best in all we do, so that we can at least make up a little for the fact that we are no more deserving, but have just been given the blessing to be whole and healthy.  I question often, why certain people receive more and others suffer, but maybe the name of the game is to stop asking why this and that we rather celebrate what we have at the time and give our best to stretch ourselves and succeed when given the chance.  I thought that I would try to explain to my 5 year old that the girl sitting in a wheel chair next to us and of a similar age, could be my own daughter if circumstances were difficult and how blessed she was to skip and run around and yet her response to me was probably the right way to look at it all be it simplistic.  She looked at the girl and then at me and said "but dad as long as she is happy like me".  As I fought my emotions and the lady finally came to call me for our long awaited table I was left with an amazing sense of gratefulness for the blessing of life in its fullest form and a determination to make each day count forthwith.

A Tribute to Joe

Christmas day has arrived and with it the sense of family and friends and what they mean, in a very difficult world, filled with many challenges. Appreciation is a word used to express genuine gratitude and thankfulness for the many things we receive, whether it is in the form of love, or gifts, or a combination of both.  Yet it is sometimes very difficult to express this feeling when we become distracted by our own selfish desires and we hurt the people that matter, by not saying openly how much we appreciate them, or make them feel especially wanted.  We tend to wake up and rip open our presents with great gusto forgetting the time and obvious effort which may have gone into buying the gift, remembering the person and making a dream come true.  We open our gifts and then move to the next one always expecting to get something that we want and occasionally need. So where does this leave us in terms of our journey of life, surely we are not to be so self absorbed and unappreciative, instead of living outwardly and in servant-hood.  I learnt a very invaluable lesson today, in that I took for granted all the work that went on behind the scenes to make a family day special and I forgot the basic rule of expressing gratitude.  We always teach our kids to be grateful, but how often we as adults can take a leaf as well.  I would say that it is rather to have no gifts, or no tree with decorations, but to be close to the people you love, is far more important. Cherish the closeness and be outward in your show of gratitude for it would seem short lived. It is important and makes people feel special and it costs very little to bestow such a blessing on others.  The key is not to stop doing it tomorrow, because it is "Boxing Day", but to embrace the true lesson from this time, which is to keep in this attitude and nature and to fix our commitment on each other, in trying to create this atmosphere in all that we do, daily.  Gratitude costs very little, but it goes a very long way to making people we have relationship with, feel special.  Be sincere and direct in your praise of others and don't be distracted by material gifts, or flattery.  I know that I will learn from today and try harder to be the Man that we celebrated today, when it comes to being purposeful, but always willing to serve; honest, but never afraid to raise difficult questions which need an answer, hopeful but never expectant and forgiving but never resentful of what others may have, or have done.  So Unchain My Heart and lets try to "get by with a little help from our friends".  Merry Christmas and Happy Hanukkah.