An exercise in Happiness

Happiness seems to be defined as a positive state of mind.  It does not seem to lie necessarily in the work we do, or in relationships or in people per se; it requires an attitude adjustment towards acquiring a state of mind which combines certain elements and leaves you feeling fulfilled and a more complete person. We cannot always be or feel happy because our lives are affected by circumstances, like hurt, pain and regrets.  However, decisions made are more likely to produce happiness than indecisiveness. And yet it is very easy to get into the mentality that we cannot make decisions because they will cause more hurt or destroy our peace.  But happiness lies carefully hidden, but still attainable, in the place where peace exists and the things that steal our peace, are the same things that steal our happiness. We tend to blame things in our lives for our unhappiness or believe that we are responsible for making others happy as if it is our duty or responsibility but in reality happiness is often a subjective and personal experience.  Even so we need to take certain things with us in the pursuit of happiness, like a positive attitude, the right team, the correct belief system, a single minded purpose and an idea of what lies in store. We need clear goals and a belief that we can achieve a happy state here and now and not just some obscure concept which is only to be found in a dazed, confused and uncertain state of mind somewhere in an uncertain future.  There is also little point in striving to get to a place of happiness, only to want something else to make us happy when we get there.  We need to be satisfied with the choices we make and the results we achieve and be extremely grateful for the journey that got us to that place in the first place.  Some of us need to drop our standards a little or be less critical and not to overanalyze every circumstance until it all but frustrates us, but rather enjoy the ride once in a while, no matter what the worldly outcome may be.  Lets face it "Grumpy" has never been happy.  We are of little value if we are frustrated, bitter or downright miserable.  Our decisions may not always be popular, understandable or what would seem to be the main stream thing to do, but these are defining times and we better believe that what we do now is going to have an impact in a few years from now. If we really want this thing called happiness then we owe it to ourselves to make an effort to achieve it.  This is no time to sit on our butts and think that it will come to us and we better accept that the way we think things are going to turn out will probably look very different when eventually the day comes that we truly feel happy.  So grab hold of the one or two or three things that make you happy and be relentless to pursue their conclusion.

A Season to Journey

Lets face it we live in defining times and motivation and comfort are hardly visible on a daily basis at the moment so we pretty much have to gain perspective in every area of our lives. We are surrounded by threats to our existence, many of which are no longer directly within our control.  We would want to be positive and be ready for challenges in the norms of business, our childrens education and in personal relationships, but our expectation is that we will have a measure of control which will give us the opportunity to succeed when we need to meet the road, as it rises towards us.  But what if you start returning questions with answers that no longer fit into the mould of tradtional, or convenient or even comfortable, thus making you vulnerable and unsure of where you are menat to be and how you can get there.  Well this may very well be such a time in the lives of many people.  Looking for an easy way out of the things which were previously fairly simple to answer are now a more complicated solution and no matter how we look at it, the faith that we possess is about to be tested.  It may feel like you are the recipient of unnecessary stones being hurled at you from all sides, but perhaps it is the time to gather those very stones and build a wall to protect yourself. Maybe you have been fighting for so long and you have to accept that as much as you want a different outcome you have to let it go. We need to fight as hard as possible to not be controlled by people, money or past experiences despite the attacks we face and learning the art of responding to the challenge instead of reacting to the situation becomes a major key to thinking straight and finding a way to gain a different outlook.  Whether you are a quiet peson or one that has no option but to share your feelings it nevertheless remains a time of choosing to stay in control.   I believe that we should not live in guilt or be bound by so called "mistakes" that we have made. Find peace in what you are doing at the moment. Divide your time appropriately and try to give a 100% to a few important things rather than 20% towards everything.  In other words focus. Separate the things you can control (and there are more than you think) from those beyond your control. Make time to get fresh air and clear your mind especially during times of great trials because it is easy to sit and stew and worry about everything you face.  What about working on our relationships, especially the ones that matter - this would be a good time to focus on the important ones and not to let go of them at a time when close relationships are really hard to come by. We all need a little time of solitude to really give us perspective of what can and should occupy our time, focus and efforts.  Avoid bitterness even though it is very hard to do in practice.  When things are not going according to plan the easiest thing is to avert the blame and grow jealous and angry towards others that appear to be doing so well.  But remember they too may be going through a tough time so sharing with others and listening to their story may be encouraging to them and uplifiting to your own soul. Make some pancakes and do the symbolic flipping of negative thoughts into positive ones. Don't stop doing the positive things in your life that were good and fun and exciting, simply because it would seem that the mood has changed and that you should abandon those things, to "truly experience" the bad time you are going through.  Because remember every small moment of joy is a brush stroke on the canvas of life and the whole painting is always better than a few loose lines.  Together the hardest times can become the first chapter in the rest of your life.  As said by Mary Oliver "one day you finally knew what you had to do and began".

Rock Bottom can become the foundation on which to rebuild your Life

Nobody likes the feeling of defeat or misery. No one experiencing challenging times wants judgement, or selfish advice. How many great men and woman have not stood on the precipice of disaster only for "their ship to come in". We certainly live in unpredictable times, in very uncertain times and people are either busy consolidating or taking major risks on change and new horizons.  My parents generation were those that lived in times where generally work was available and loyalty was rewarded by companies to the extent that employees stayed, worked their time and received a healthy pension at the end.  I have no problem with how this was achieved, or begrudge those that went onto pension on this basis.  After all, thanks to such times, my grandfather was able to be on pension for 30 years and my own dad able to retire comfortably at 60.  I may even be a little envious of their circumstances when I look around me at the moment.  There is so much uncertainty, whether globally, or in our country and between recession (although restaurants seem to be packed everywhere) unemployment, sugar tax and major unrest at universities, the prospects do not seem very upbeat for goal implementation and dreams to be fulfilled.  We should be focused on improving the constitution we fought hard to achieve, instead of finding every petty excuse to bring about unrest, distraction and down right vandalism.  Tertiary institutions are places of learning and should not be political platforms for idiotic motives and the same boring and frankly purposeless notions of racism and language choices.  This country can so ill afford further negativity and we need education to be improved in whatever way, instead of fighting whether English or Afrikaans is to be the primary language of education.  Those people causing this anarchy are the same who should be getting on with their own self improvemnt and education. It is shameful to say the least.  But this is what worries me at the moment about our country, is that we all end up being affected by these minor factions and we start to doubt the worthy ideas and creative opportunities we may have, because we are affected by the neverending attacks on our liberties and reasonable chances to make a difference.  If last year I had thought that consolidation was a buzz word, then I would hate to know the "intensiewe vorm" (and if you dont know the Afrikaans then figure it out, because this is South Africa and Afrikaans is just as much part of the history of this country so get with it people!!) of the word consolidation this year, especially after the budget and the prospects of a better 2016. There is even less to smile about and everyone will eventually be affected.  It just means that we will need to be that much more determined to succeed and work that much smarter to make a difference in our professions.  If you drop a rock into a bowl it will sink to the bottom and lie there, unless you put in more water mix the water enough, or so much that the rock begins to move.  It may stay towards the bottom of the bowl because that is the reality of the situation, but it can move and still affect the area and circumstances of the pool of water that it is in.  It can and should be our challenge to be the difference.

Whatever you do refuse to sink!

We all hide aspects of our life whether through pride, or uncertainty, or fear.  Take Namaan a character in the old Testament, who hid his leprosy despite being the commander of the army and a powerful man. He was a public hero with fame and fortune and a massive ego, but he was also a private Leper (literally and figuratively). Our perspective of the world we live in, the challenges we face and what will be our attitude to the future and our pursuit of our dreams and goals, will be determined by our pespective.  In the case of Namman he preferred to hide his affliction and carry on with the business of running an army, but all the while he was dying inside.  It took a slave girl, who recognised the affliction, to help him to a place where he could face the fear he had that he would no longer be in control, and seek the wisdom of the prophet to help him be healed. Even still he expected the prophet to come to him, as we so often do, when we expect the dreams we have to come to us, but we do little to make them a reality.  We hold back and talk a lot about what we can achieve and we want the fruits of our dreams so much, but yet we don't run towrds them, but rather see every obstacle as to why they probably wont work. It would be a lot easier if the dream would just come to us, because we want it anyway.  We place too much value on ourselves as the deserving recipient instead of the fearless warrior and we end up in seasons of captivity, where we blame circumstances, economies, global restraints and others opinions and yet we wonder why our goals remain unfulfilled.  We pray many times for things on the basis that we have decided what should be given to us, becuase we have compared ourselves to others and we think we are worthy of receiving our request.  Instead, we should change our perspective entirely and spring into action with a positive and commited attitude and then watch what can happen. We should never be too proud of taking a chance and even if it means starting again and accepting that the way we have been doing it should not be continued. If we remember that the result is already in the hands of the creator who has placed us in this time and place in the first place, then it will surely help to stop worrying about all the negatives and uncertainties and rather plough as much effort into the outcome and leave enough time (because the length of it is not in our hands) in our lives to enjoy the outcome which lies in store starting today.

Be a Character!

There is a tremendous amount of negativity at the moment which I suppose is undesrandable if one looks at the economy, unemployment, politics and education in this country.  Elsewhere Eorope is suffering from the effects of migrants and terrorism and in America the big squeeze is on for growth and development.  Even china is hardly showing signs of growth.  The reality is that the world is upside down and it is very easy to fall straight into negativity and to think that our circumstances are far worse than we can handle or deal with.  But it is my feeling that this is not a time to dwell on the things that have held us back from succces and growth, nor to be bent on predicting the future in advance, but rather to remain hopeful in our present.  We cannot even predict what the future will look like, so why would we with good conscience not stop fretting and try to be positive and seek growth and happiness.  Why would we not take one day at a time and make the most of it rather than getting to the end of another week and not being sure what we have achieved other than a few more wrinkles.  We cannot be happy every day of our lives true, because we are influenced by the world and by others but we can make a choice that the happiness we long for when we are really honest with others and ourselves is something we are going to pursue with every fibre of our being.  How much time do we spend wondering about the future and if we can make our lives as we dream and how much time do we waste on frivilous thoughts about others, their views on us and what is happening in their lives.  The hours spent on assumptions and trying to predict how our circumdstances will be takes so much time away from our current opportunity for success and happines that when we finally take a moment to pervey the surroundings, we will realise that we had opportunities and we let let slip away becuase of trying to make others happy, fighting to have others stop trying to change our characters  and worrying about fitting into others mould for our lives instead of just getting on with the real life that God had promised or laid out for us.  It may seem crazy to think that we can achieve our goals becuase we may just not think we are good enough or we could not possibly have a happiness waiting for us and then suddenly when the reality hits home, that we can actually be happy, it is far too late to action it and the frustration has got the better of us.  At least we owe it to ourselves to err on the side, not of caution, but bravery to not compromise on our character, but rather to be true to ourselves and the people we were born to be. Never force things, give it your best shot,  if it is meant to be then it will be.

Shoot to score!

Lerarning to cope with an ever changing world is vital to achieve any sort of goal.  We need to start learning about ourselves and whether our weak points are shaping our lives, or if our strengths are starting to dictate the direction in which our life is travelling.  It is very difficult to choose a course these days due to the surrounding circumstances like economy, lifestyle, job opportunities, stress and many more.  There seems to be an enormous price to pay in order to achieve happiness partly also due to the fact that there are so mnay options and therefore we dont quite know what it is that we are meant to be doing.  But there are a few thjings that dont change when seeking our path in life and that is a fact. That hard work will be necessary, sacrificres will need to be made and you will have to go through the challenges rather than around them are inevitable. We are into the second month of the year already and how many of our well thought out plans for the year, are in process or have been commenced or completed.  Waiting for a better year in my opinion may leave you very frustrated and unfulfilled, becuase the realistic chance exists that this year will not be spectacular it may even get harder with interest rates, food inflation, racism and so if you leave circumstances to dictate your year you will be guaranteed a more testing year than before.  There will always be curve balls and unexpected costs to whatever perfect life we are trying to create.  Our faith, relationships and businesses will be tested and unless we earnestly try to know what it is that we are destined to become, we will surely, in the sea of life which has turbulance and random events which alter our thinking, simply end up believing that our lives are basically irrelevant, instead of knowing that once we put ourselves on the path to success, we can have a better future than anything we could have imagined. We need to accept the cost and have an attitude towards results that make us better. Bad things are hard, but that is why our relationships need to be strong. Forget it enough to get over it, remember it enough, so it doesnt happen again. Our lives will not get better by chance, they will get better by change. The earlier we identify the path this year and stick to it the quicker we can tackle the tough times and things which lie ahead and yet still come out the other side of this year more equipped overall and a lot closer to the dreams that we have set. Choose to forget what cannot be achieved and rather mark off every goal which is celebrating the fact that you have taken one more step in lifes journey to your end goal. 

Anything but Ordinary

There can be no doubt that the world is complicated, between economic uncertainty and rising interest rates, together with food inflation, changing weather patterns and global warming, cultural and political upheavel on so many levels and massive risk of violence and corruption to the highest levels in government and this makes for a very interesting time to be living on our planet.  It is easy to be a cynic in these times, easy to be critical and opinionated, but if we stop for a second to pervay the surroundings we will soon note that there is still a fair amount of magic to be found and a whole lot of living to be accomplished.  No one says that change is easy and taking risks in times like these tends to draw major detraction, because it would appear to be the best to simply lie low and allow the storm to pass.  But in South Africa we tend to quickly adjust our normal and simply accept the new and often far more unacceptable norm, to become our reality.  We moaned excessively when the rand went to to $10 but now we are happy to accept that becuase times are tough, the currency is ok at $15.  So therefore we can afford to be entirely dissatisfied with ordinary standards and start tackling principles that have been neglected and rising to meet issues head on in this country.  A media celebrity this week managed to win a case regarding rasism and prejudice and even leaders of the ruling party in the Western Cape have had to endure attacks, all as a result of an unwillingness to bring about real change.  We tend to stay stuck in our circumstances indefinitely, even when we know that a different outcome and an altogetner happier ending could be possible if we take the right risks and have the courage to face the possibility that all we have now, need not be all that is best in our future.  It is possible to try to control everything in your life and end up having nothing like happiness, but we need to embrace the struggle and face the sacrifices that need to be made in order to truly declutter the loves that we are meant to have.  We need to stop doing the things that we do not truly care about because they deliver stress to our lives and start working hard on the things we love because they result in passion.  There is no embarressmemt in being emotional about the tough struggles, but we need to make sure that they really are the struggles that will produce fruit in our lives and will steer our course for a better outcome.  Whether you have to endure the struggles on your own, or in a relationship, the time has come to really work hard and handle the set backs and actually follow through on promises and conversations we have had.  There is nothing wrong in making mistakes but we cannnot afford to make the same mistakes on a regular basis.  I would rather be amongst those that work hard at success, whertner in business, or in life in general for that mattter, than being complacent and hoping that that a lucky break will enable us to fulfill our greatest desires and goals. May action speak louder than our words and may we find that life is not about avoiding the bruises, but rather about collecting the scars to prove that we showed up for it.