Painful Peace makes us Happy

We have all asked the question what do we want. Especially at the beginning of a New Year we are attuned to what may or may not happen in the coming Year.  We struggle to understand this concept because we are surrounded by conflict, pain and a whole lot of misunderstanding.  The reality is that most of the world is in a Topsy Turvy state and finding peace is challenging to say the least.  The markets are so unpredictable and soaring food prices and continued disruption at tertiary institutions are making for fears of unrest and instability.  Negative sentiment of strife and we are only in January. So can things come right?   Well yes if we truly determine what we want and slowly and in a dedicated manner, put our shoulder to the wheel and  continue to make things happen.  Perhaps we spend too much time at the moment seeking happiness instead of using our time to find quiet.  Happiness still takes a lot of work, and we continue to chase around to attain it, whether it is in planning trips or just finishing a project, as soon as possible to be able to get enough money to do the next thing and the next thing and so on. Realities also mix in with our happiness and while we are seeking happiness these realities are influencing us and actually drawing us further from peace, which is what we think happiness will provide and yet we end up so involved in the pursuit, that we will miss the end goal.  The pain we endure is perhaps the very secret place where we can experience a real chance at happiness. Because in the pain lies the things that we really are willing to endure and persist in. And where we show determination to actually take a step to eventual victory over the surrounding negativity. The things that we want for a happy life take enormous sacrifice, they require consistent pain, because they are not easy, but they can lead to change and growth.  Our country is desperately in need of men and woman, the colour is so irrelevant and frankly such a waste of time, who are willing to find a way to make small differences each day in the place where they are relevant and to work diligently in their given vocations, not for the chance to move jobs for an extra R500, not so that they can get immediate promotion and certainly not to achieve a position because of entitlement, but to work damn hard to just ensure that the job they currently are blessed with, is done wit excellence.  We need to be and should be extremely dissatisfied with the way things are working in the country, but perhaps we need to see it in the context that where there is enough pain and suffering the closeness of happiness and success may be a lot closer than we think. I am not advocating negative sentiment for negative purpose but rather dissatisfaction for growth.  We can all learn to embrace this painful time and reach the other side of this year, having actually achieved some previously unattained goals.

Miller Time: The Fresh smell of Rain.

Miller Time: The Fresh smell of Rain.: I wakened finally this morning, to the coolness after the rain and some respite from the stifling heat that we have experienced in the last...

The Fresh smell of Rain.

I wakened finally this morning, to the coolness after the rain and some respite from the stifling heat that we have experienced in the last week.  I was grateful for the puddles and moisture lying all over.  It felt like when we finally have a break through after many months of struggle and pain and hurt.  It lead me to think of peace and gaining a perspective on where we find ourselves and to begin to process the moments in between.  I want to try to be someone who is comfortable in their skin and honest with their reality.  I want to socialise with such people, who can be honest about their reality. Social media has been in the news again with twitter wars on racism and prosecutions for Facebook comments. It would seem that social media dominates the landscape from business to private lives and it is here to stay. Many people make it the last thing they do before switching off their light and the first thing they check in the morning. And yet much of what is posted is actually of the things that we used to share in our minds or captured in special moments with people we care about.  It is extremely important to surround ourselves with people that are neither perfect nor paint pictures of being such.  Rather people that can smile at their flaws and admit that they are wrong.  Now we have ways to give expression to this, by posting profiles and selfies and Emoji pics. Authenticity is hard to find and too often we let our lives become, what others opinions are and not their own truth.  Clearly I am a hopeless romantic, but I do long for days of mystery and anticipation of things to come, instead of instant responses and comments made even before sufficient time has been spent on the possible outcomes. I don't want a perception of perfection - I want real people and genuine reality. Decisions are to be exact and concise and considered and the hastiness can lead to misunderstanding and a whole lot of assumptions. The problem is that it is expected of us to provide immediate answers and if we don't know something, to look it up instantly and our authority is no longer to be found in wisdom and discernment, but rather in Wikipedia and Google. I wonder how many mistakes are made because the decision is too quick and a different outcome could have been achieved if we took a little longer to ponder the question and where it might lead. In a very good article I read over the internet?? a study conducted over a 75 year period revealed that good relationships with other human beings was what made a difference to many people's happiness and longevity. Those with friends were healthier, lived longer and enjoyed a more fulfilled life. What happened to talking every day to friends and being accepted for who you are and to be able to truly connect with people over a meal or a glass of wine. Some would argue that using the internet, we could simply get more friends and more options, but it still seems that we only have a few truly good friends and that taken over a lifetime, they will remain the persons we connect with and who we truly know.  For me the balance in life is becoming more important and if I want to make my life count, I need to make sure that I connect with the right people and truly learn what I can from their experiences and actual conversations.  We are better off walking away from people and situations that threaten our peace of mind, self respect, or self worth.  We betray ourselves when we do not follow the hearts desire for what the heart is attracted to, is our destiny.

Miller Time: Hello .... is it 2016 your looking for!

Miller Time: Hello .... is it 2016 your looking for!: I last posted a blog several months ago and I have learnt that reflection or dwelling on the past has little place in a world that changes a...

Hello .... is it 2016 your looking for!

I last posted a blog several months ago and I have learnt that reflection or dwelling on the past has little place in a world that changes and develops so quickly.  To be caught up in nostalgia or pining for things gone by, will not help much when you have responsibilities to fulfil and business to run. Yet on occasion, life gives us a time to take in events and times and provides a learning moment when we can spend a few moments to think about our lives, the contribution we have made and to test our commitment to humanity, whether over a few sips of wine, or while pounding the streets on a run, or even sitting in front of a computer as I am doing.  2015 is certainly gone and thankfully so.  It has been surprising how many people have similarly stated that they are happy to see the back of the year and await a more positive and happier year.  Although I am sure that it can be that there are various factors, we are best to hold close to our chest as a reality check the things that made 2015 tough.  Globally terror is on the increase and Europe is no longer a place of peace and tranquillity.  Locally we face a drought and an idiot as president who is costing our country enormous damage and generally driving our economy to junk status.  America challenges gun control and China needs a place to house its ever expanding populous who are no longer happy to eat rice and vegetables, but seek to impact the world through growth and development.  The point is that no place seems to be free of upheaval or consternation and this means that as we head into a New year, with 366 days, we would be wise to take the focus off whats happening around us and in the 4 walls of other peoples lives and to focus more attentively to our own sh$%.. There is not too much we can do to stabilise the economy by working hard and honestly, as so many South Africans do, when the government abuses its Powers and directs funds and influence on their own selfish natures instead of the very people that brought them to democracy.  But, we can keep doing the right things as individuals and as each one commits to this process of being the best they can in their sphere of influence,  surely this will have an effect on the country as a whole,  I have many friends that have chosen to establish there lives elsewhere and they cannot be blamed for the decisions that they have made, but those of us left here would be wise to know that the grass is not always greener elsewhere. For this reason we can stay and make a difference each day of 2016.  It would be far better if leadership at the top of the country were to help to make the changes to crime, the economy, education and general protection of resources and infrastructure, but while they are blinded by greed, corruption and disrespect of the nation, we as the minions will need to make the changes and spread the influence, until the "fat cats" come to their reality.  It seems like it is to be another slog in 2016, but as long as we are willing to nurture the good relationships we do have, to seek happiness in our own circumstances and to do whatever we are tasked to do in excellence, then the road ahead for this year can be memorable.  So don't forget the tough times past and don't write off the people that have got you to this point, but remain committed to your happiness and the goals and dreams you have set for the 8784 hours (and opportunities) that lie ahead this year.

These are some of the Rules

Here are some simple Rules in life.  Firstly if you don't go after what you want in life you will never have it. Of course that does not mean forsaking everyone else, or the important things in your life, but it means that you need to be relentless in the pursuit of that which you have set out to do.  You will get a lot further in your quest if you commit your time and effort to that which is meaningful and personally motivational to you. Secondly, if you do not ask the answer will always be no.  There are many sayings like nothing ventured nothing gained and if you don't ask you will never receive.  We need to pose questions of the type that signify new opportunities and new possibilities.  By not asking we are limiting the possibilities of success and we are opening up to the chances of misunderstanding and wrong presumptions.  Sometimes we need to pose the hard questions and although we expect a particular answer, we may be surprised to find that the answer contains new possibilities and opens new doors.  No one has ever truly succeeded with a goal or dream unless they have asked many questions of how and why and what if.  Thirdly if you do not step forward you will always be in the same place.  It is very easy to think that you are growing or moving to a better place, but all the while you are really standing still.  Once you start to move you will find that the view and the surroundings could change, or look very different.  They may not even be the rosy place that you expected but the fact is that you will be moving and whether slowly or quickly the question is rather the fact that momentum is gathering and you will be nearer to the goal you have set and not further.  It is not always easy to move because we are afraid, or concerned about the consequences, or what other may think, but the consequences of not trying are far harder to endure than even a failed effort.  And when in doubt try and try again.

Don't mistake a loner for loneliness??

Sometimes it is a somewhat harsh reality that everything in your life is a reflection of the choices you have made.  If you want a different result then you have to make a different choice.  But letting go of things is often a lot harder than it sounds.  Some people are strong enough to walk away and others are not.  Some possess the ability to be alone and appear to be able to remain independent or even seem content to be alone, without obsessing about having others around to ensure their happiness.  It may be that some are able to mange and cope with both the loneliness and the freedom of being alone and it may even present them with the opportunity to really dig deep inside, focus and realise that they have the capacity to love and cherish others without addiction or extreme dependency.  Their happiness is not affected per se by the involvement or influence of another.  This is a rare character and is probably daunting to most.  I suppose that there may be merit in the fact that such people can go about their life in the knowledge that they can love freely and openly when the right circumstances present themselves, because they are just content and happy in themselves and have learnt that the greater capacity and fulfillment of love exists in the place of sharing that love.  It is such people that may have a greater capacity to love because they take nothing for granted.  They make choices to love and care and they grow continually with confidence and a deep sense of appreciation for what they have.  Such people are to be admired and should not be judged,.  So no matter how hard it may seem to give up the comforts of "togetherness"for reasons of time, comfort or protection from fear or pain, consider a thought for the people that traverse the planet alone, but with a plan and dream to fulfil - and a massive ability to love.