Pour me Another please!

Ok so the New Year has dawned and much anticipation lies in wait for the accomplishments and dreams of a fresh year.  Many people will be awakening to another reality this morning and that is of a whopping headache from too much wine last night -  I may myself even have had a little too much but IS that not the beauty of the substance we ingest and relish and which is so much a part of this country and its hopes and dreams - a new vintage 2015 will be on every bottle this year and will it be one to remember, an improvement on last year perhaps, a chance to correct mistakes made, or a less than convincing year.  The decision lies largely in what we are willing to put into the outcome. WINE - this country has so much to offer in that it has such a diversity of blends, like Pinot-noir, Chardonnay, Chenin-blanc and Merlot, we have some of the best in the world in each category.  So how can we afford to be irresponsible with what we have achieved by being corrupt in government, violent in our crime, unproductive in our industry and politics and duplicitous in our social policies like using BEE or race history to determine our futures.  Wine I say is the key (my mom would be proud of me saying it) - I am going to let it be my guide this year and this is why.  We should want to drink lighter red blends like the Pinot- noir because the dark days of the last few years economically need to go, to be put behind us and start a recovery, the heavy dark Cabs are gone and it is time to revive business and belief in a path forward and to seek the fruity flavours of successful business once again.  Chardonnays are making a come back and this should signify a sign that investment is to be renewed in our own country and by our own people. Chenin-blanc is there to assist us by not being as dry as sauvignon blanc and to teach us to start treating people with basic courtesy and respect on the roads, at work and in our socialising, and finally Merlot with its blended qualities giving it a more fruity flavour and also flexibility, which should be a sign to us all to be accommodating of our past, but not stuck in it and open to growing instead of suffering through the heavy tannins of the past.  I said previously that I will not compromise on good quality wine, because it delivers to our expectations, it is a catalyst to great social interaction, but does not leave you with a nasty hangover the next day, it brings calm after a tough day and helps us to unwind and stirs conversation, which leads to solutions and new ideas, it invokes passion if drunk in the correct dosage and with the right people and helps us to share our goals and desires, which leads to better relationships and excitement for a brighter future. No matter how it is bottled or packaged it remains a product of life and its outcomes.  Don't cork it and keep it for too long lest it become bitter (in other words share what you have in terms of knowledge, experience and ideas as the new way is to open it, celebrate and take in the flavours of 2015). Don't rush it (savour the opportunities you are given and take nothing for granted), try different varieties (take a few risks to see what makes you happy). Don't drink it alone (try to have fun, don't over analyze and make memories) and above all  make it a vintage never to forget.

How do you like your coffee.

There are a few things in life I believe you should not compromise on quality.  I have been criticised occasionally for being a bit of a snob when it comes to being fussy and tongue in cheek, I take offence to these insinuations, but in reality I am not phased one bit about them.  They are coffee, wine, ethics in business and good shoes.  So, because these items float my boat so much, I have decided to dedicate the next 4 days blogs to these themes and deal with them one by one.  Coffee is an obvious one to start with, as we start most days with our favourite blend and because over the years the dietitians have gone from "the stuff is so bad for you",  to "oh well a couple of cups per day is not too bad", to "well it actually is not bad for you", helps you before a workout and is now all over the place.  Even George Clooney who epitomises style and panache is endorsing Nestle coffee, in a variety of enticing adverts.  I think back so fondly to some of the best encounters, meetings, dates and great learning experiences have been centered around a cup of coffee.  It is so much like life that metaphors are easy.  It is a drink which makes you want to discuss intimate matters, catch up with someone special after a bad day, offering advice to a friend and clinching a deal, or new business.   There are so many coffee shops each advocating that they make the best blend and their beans are superior to any other.  Very much like businesses offering services.   It is interesting that we all have different tastes for coffee (and relationships) and for some espresso is the way to go (complicated and dynamic even if in a small quantity), others claim cappuccino to be the best (soft and smooth on top but once mixed with the foam the espresso comes through) and still others will convince you that an americano is the only way to start a day (strong in personality and constant in their texture and personality).  I think like so many other things our tastes change with time and like in life relationships, we may still love coffee, but over time we go from numerous cups of strong coffee, to that special cup during the day and finally to that espresso which may be small in volume, but gives so much to making your life perfect.  Coffee definitely takes you places and I have been privileged to drink coffee in many countries, each with their own style and unique memory.  It is like the differences we as humans have, and  what makes God's creation of us so unbelievable,  I decided several years ago that I would simply choose not to drink poor coffee and maybe it is a silly analogy to life, but since I made the choice to drink good coffee, I have also realised the quality of people and what makes them special or just a very plain and uninteresting blend.  Some have even been bitter and poor quality beans.  I am happy to spend money on good quality beans and the same on people who are worth investing in, because the reward on your investment cannot be over estimated and quality should be celebrated and praised.  I will no longer just drink a coffee for the sake of having it, and by the same token the people I relate to, will be of the same quality as the coffee that I consume.  Besides it is fun to take that first sip of the day and feel the blend hitting your senses.  I used to need sugar (people) to make the taste of some coffee (life) bearable but now I can drink it without sugar and as is (because life is so special to have in itself) - I have the opportunity to choose the taste and the strength of my coffee (IE the relationships I keep and nurture) and occasionally realise that I still want a second cup (a chance to make the second half of my life count).  I hope to be sharing a cup with you in the near future.

What are you packing in your Bag!

Today I was reading a men's magazine and the article was focused on an actor that has broken through this year and his career is now literally in stellar mode and I began to ponder the following,  "the baggage that is ourselves".  We all carry with us things that bug us and which we are not particularly proud of, but I know for someone like me, I get around my concerns by setting myself goals and constantly trying to improve aspects of my life, which I know have defects, or errors in them.  I suffer from the "uncertainty complex", where I am often unsure of what will happen if I do something I would like to do and I make presumptions on the outcome of a particular thing, before I have even completed the task.  Many times I believe that I in fact hold myself back, because I tend to talk myself out of the result and over-analyze instead of completing the adventure and then dealing with the outcome.  I think many people tend to do this, in that they don't believe enough that they can accomplish something and fall short of the goal for this reason alone.  In golf there is a saying that "you will miss 100 percent of putts that you leave short, which is so true, because unless you hit the ball to the hole, it will never have a chance of going in.  If there is one goal to set only this year, it will be to follow through on the goals which I have already set and in fact to see some of the putts go in this coming year.  In the past I have been excellent at setting goals, but too many of them lie incomplete through one reason only - me - I  rather don't believe that I can achieve it, or I allow doubt and uncertainty to hold me back.  There must be a reason that I set the goal in the first place, so why not believe in the outcome.  We have support from various sources and the importance of spouses, kids, family and good friends giving legitimate and honest input, is very significant, and goes a very far way in committing to the task, or goal one sets.  In business it is called a "buy in" to a concept or vision.  Once the team is on board, then it is up to the proponents to make it happen.  So unshackle yourself this year, empty your bags of uncertainty, fear, unbelief and pack the following into your travel luggage - a healthy goal, a supportive team, an unwavering discipline, faith that is simple and bold and a healthy sense of humour.

Can you remember the time we.....

Our lives are made up of a series of memories and the strange thing is that we only begin to grasp the significance and the importance of these experiences as we reach the second half of our lives.  When we are younger, we tend to go flat out in all we do and we live for the moment but only, until the next exciting moment appears on the horizon and we try to grab it.  We judge our accomplishments and lives according to the way it makes us feel at the time.  But as life progresses, we tend to judge the experiences based on the effect and influence, that the experience has on other people we care for and love.  It may sound cliched, but we must try to remember our memories.  Nostalgia is defined as "a sentimental longing or wistful affection for a period in the past".  It implies that you have the memory of an experience and you can reflect or dwell on it, with affection.  Maybe it is the place you started your married life at on a honeymoon, or maybe it is the birth of a child or the very first transfer you got, when you started on your own in your law firm.  Each memory has a value to it and we pack these into our brains until a trigger lets us recall and remember the event, or situation.  It is one of the most underestimated abilities we have and only watching elderly people suffer from dementia and alzheimer's, can truly make us understand the importance of every memory we are blessed with.  So tonight I challenge you to share your memories and use them to teach the youth, that have not yet had the chance to develop, or understand the value of good memories.  Be bold in how you explain them and this may either trigger a. fond memory for that youngster, or even be the start of a new memory.  So focus, when you listen to people and what I can truly still hope to learn herein is to give enough time to each person, to share their memories, because they contain hidden gems, not only for the giver, but for the willing and dedicated recipient.  

So How Ya Doing!!

My children as they are entering their teenage years, are currently giving me a fascinating insight into modern day relationships and I find this new way of getting to know each other rather absorbing, at times.  I watch as my son cuts through all the things that I spent years finding out with the few keystrokes of a whatsapp and I consider if there is not something to be said for this new way.  In my generation we spent so much time trying to get to know the other person before we felt safe to enter into a permanent relationship and this involved a series of dates and actual time spent together, but today the information is available in so many forms that by the time going steady or marriage comes, one wonders why so many modern relationships do not last.  After all, the parties have every bit of info about the other person?  Perhaps this in itself is the reason that relationships do fail, because the parties realise very quickly that they can ask the same questions of another person easily via a social platform and if they get a better or more preferable series of answers then they can rather switch over to that person, before they get too committed.  Shopping around and the options available are just about in every area of life and the unknown is no longer an attractive feature.  We teach our kids to ask questions and to look up the info before they go into any venture, job or relationship.  I am still somewhat undecided on the topic, because I think that there should be an element of surprise and compromise to make a relationship work in its entirety, but I am willing to see the positives in this approach that the youth adopt today and certainly think that when it comes to my business next year I have made a decision to become far more adventurous in finding out what my clients want and getting to know their needs and requirements a lot more than in the past.  I also want to make available my skills and experiences and hope that our Firm will also become noticed, in the arena we are playing in.  It is sometimes a scary thought that you could end up with the wrong person and before the commitment is sealed forever (and you have regrets and frustrations) perhaps the answer is to be more adventurous to find out what game you are playing in and to take the risks that match your requirements instead of merely "hanging in" for the sake of the way it has been done in the past. Having said that I think that our generation has the benefit of being able to use the modern technology, but at the same time being adaptable to change and a greater resolve to persist in what we are good at and this should help our generation lead the next into the future.  We may be a little slower on the information gathering, but I am sure that we can still achieve the best results needed from every situation and every relationship.

Your Table is Ready sir!

I looked around at the shopping centre today, as I waited for a table at Ocean Basket, (whoever said we are in a recession has not been around the shops in the last few days, but that is another topic) and as I glanced around I found myself looking at 3 different children being wheeled around the centre in wheelchairs with various, but permanent disabilities.  Tonight I thought that I would reflect on the blessing that we have the ability and independence to write and read and speak and walk, or run.  I know that this is a heavy topic and I intend to keep it short for good reason, but what a privilege to wake each day without disability.  We can celebrate this as much as having presents at Christmas or having a job to go in to in the new year.  My intention is not to be melancholy, but rather to say that without disability, we are free to search Gods kingdom on earth for our purpose and to give every task, relationship, friendship 100% effort, so that we do things in excellence, because frankly we can.  Those that cannot, are often not given a choice in the matter and the people that support them daily, such as parents and caregivers, have to give so much of themselves in the process, that it hardly fair to them.  Thus I feel that as healthy people we need to do our very best in all we do, so that we can at least make up a little for the fact that we are no more deserving, but have just been given the blessing to be whole and healthy.  I question often, why certain people receive more and others suffer, but maybe the name of the game is to stop asking why this and that we rather celebrate what we have at the time and give our best to stretch ourselves and succeed when given the chance.  I thought that I would try to explain to my 5 year old that the girl sitting in a wheel chair next to us and of a similar age, could be my own daughter if circumstances were difficult and how blessed she was to skip and run around and yet her response to me was probably the right way to look at it all be it simplistic.  She looked at the girl and then at me and said "but dad as long as she is happy like me".  As I fought my emotions and the lady finally came to call me for our long awaited table I was left with an amazing sense of gratefulness for the blessing of life in its fullest form and a determination to make each day count forthwith.

A Tribute to Joe

Christmas day has arrived and with it the sense of family and friends and what they mean, in a very difficult world, filled with many challenges. Appreciation is a word used to express genuine gratitude and thankfulness for the many things we receive, whether it is in the form of love, or gifts, or a combination of both.  Yet it is sometimes very difficult to express this feeling when we become distracted by our own selfish desires and we hurt the people that matter, by not saying openly how much we appreciate them, or make them feel especially wanted.  We tend to wake up and rip open our presents with great gusto forgetting the time and obvious effort which may have gone into buying the gift, remembering the person and making a dream come true.  We open our gifts and then move to the next one always expecting to get something that we want and occasionally need. So where does this leave us in terms of our journey of life, surely we are not to be so self absorbed and unappreciative, instead of living outwardly and in servant-hood.  I learnt a very invaluable lesson today, in that I took for granted all the work that went on behind the scenes to make a family day special and I forgot the basic rule of expressing gratitude.  We always teach our kids to be grateful, but how often we as adults can take a leaf as well.  I would say that it is rather to have no gifts, or no tree with decorations, but to be close to the people you love, is far more important. Cherish the closeness and be outward in your show of gratitude for it would seem short lived. It is important and makes people feel special and it costs very little to bestow such a blessing on others.  The key is not to stop doing it tomorrow, because it is "Boxing Day", but to embrace the true lesson from this time, which is to keep in this attitude and nature and to fix our commitment on each other, in trying to create this atmosphere in all that we do, daily.  Gratitude costs very little, but it goes a very long way to making people we have relationship with, feel special.  Be sincere and direct in your praise of others and don't be distracted by material gifts, or flattery.  I know that I will learn from today and try harder to be the Man that we celebrated today, when it comes to being purposeful, but always willing to serve; honest, but never afraid to raise difficult questions which need an answer, hopeful but never expectant and forgiving but never resentful of what others may have, or have done.  So Unchain My Heart and lets try to "get by with a little help from our friends".  Merry Christmas and Happy Hanukkah.

Come on Old Man lets go for a Run!

This afternoon I had a run on the beach with my son in preparation for bush camp next year where he needs to be able to run 4,2 km in 18 minutes to qualify for the record of "achieved" on his report card.  During the run we went out at a slow pace getting into a rhythm and adapting to the soft sand and breaking waves.  This is much like the early days of working, when one adapts to office life, work colleagues and pecking orders.  We stumble a bit and we are uncertain of our footing, as we integrate into society and the job which we have been assigned and trained for. As the run continued, we could increase the pace and take a few more risks, because we knew what the terrain was like and we had more head knowledge, as to what to expect as the journey continued.  There were some bluebottles and debris along the way to throw curve balls at us, but because we were fresh in the legs we could adjust to the impediments and avoid them them or even confront them full on. Life turns exciting when we realize that we have trained for this and we are becoming more capable and secure in our abilities.  We almost start to think that we are untouchable and we can do this run of life "in our sleep".  But then we reach the turning point and as we turned around and headed back to base I was struck with the realization that the footsteps and marks we had left on the first half of the run are actually gone and erased by the sea and we suddenly have no direct reference any longer.  This is the maturing phase of life when you must consolidate all the skill, passion and knowledge into the second half of the journey of life and head forward to make a significant difference to your future and those that you are blessed to be working and living with and are nurturing.  On my run I briefly felt the surge of excitement that although I did not have the footprints to guide me, I had been along the path before and I pulled away from my son a bit, thinking that I had the advantage over him.  I thought I would have to kick on by myself and leave the little bugger behind, but the most excitement came, when I realized that he was actually trailing me and taking in my footsteps and waiting his time.  In hindsight I think we give too little credit to the mentors and teachers we have in life and it takes real maturity to identify what they can teach us and how much value they add to our lives.  The young man was waiting and biding his time and when the time came, he eased up to my side and finished the stronger although he complained more and quickly said he would not like to do it again.  Our youth still needs guidance and counsel and hopefully I can be a man of encouragement and example like the more experienced men who I have the privilege of knowing and who continue to guide my steps - so well done old men and I look forward to my turn.

Adapt or ... Well just adapt!

Today we spent the day with wonderful friends who have emigrated to distant shores but visiting with them was like the first time we got together socially. The difference is several years and a house full of kids but what was fascinating to see was the ease with which the children adapted to each other and how they integrated into each other's company with hardly a care or concern. I think we can learn so much from children in the way they tackle rather complicated tasks such as who uses the boogie board, sharing the chips and playing bocce in turns.  As adults we often find it extremely difficult to manage relationships because we have issues or because it's "complicated" but actually the answer lies less in the worrying about our own insecurities and more in the getting on with life.  This notion is not as difficult as we think and can easily be achieved with the right attitude in place.  For example I heard of wonderful social Projects being conducted in the small town of Kynsna and dedicated citizens trying to make a difference and succeeding.  My challenge is to follow this example and to get involved instead of hesitating or fearing  the possibility of getting hurt or being embarrassed.  We can surely dig a little into our soul  this festive season and in so doing grow our own lives.  Basic qualities like cooperation, patience, self control, gentleness and kindness are all easier to exercise when we put them right into practice. Lives are touched and society will grow which can only take our country further and beyond. I am convinced that we should start immediately and not tarry too long so that we end up missing the pleasure that God bestows on people far and wide.  Love living life and fill your day with praise, people you love and an open heart.

Whats the Buzz!!

As I sat down to write this evening, I opened the doors to get in some air and inadvertently allowed a mosquito the opportunity to make a complete nuisance of himself - it has been tormenting me for the last hour now and notwithstanding my best efforts, I have failed hopelessly in catching and exterminating this irritating creature.  So what has this got to do with today's piece - well everything, because I have learnt the following lessons from the beast, namely persistence, dedication, risk and reward.  The little fellow must be the most persistent creature ever and I have decided that we too need to be exactly like this in all we do. Whatever the task may be, we cannot afford to do it without effort and an expectation of success.  However many times we may get turned away from something or suffer a set back, that is exactly the number of times (except for one extra) that we need to retrace our steps and plainly try again.  And each time is another learning opportunity just waiting for us to take something from the experience and begin to carve out the final success we are striving to achieve.  This requires the dedication which this mosquito seems to have perfected and which frankly many people cannot seem to grasp.  Dedication is not just the art of trying again, but is it the concerted effort, taking into account previous mistakes and losses and using that to achieve perfection, which in the case of the mosquito is a nice red bite mark, just about on my right ankle.  In my own industry and work, we can try to lodge documents in the deeds office as many times as we want, but unless we submit the correct papers with the correct info, we will never get our transactions registered.  We should thus all take heed of this mantle and not wait for others to do it, such as government, parents or teachers, our boss or even our friends. But there is another ingredient needed in the recipe to success and this requires a little word called risk.  Just recently I have been accused of being too stereotyped and not willing to take a risk and as I watched this mosquito fly away and then return every time that I swatted at him and then missed, I gathered that there much truth in this four letter word (and not that 4 letter word I was using every time I missed the cretin!).  Several years ago I did take a risk to start my own business and I am grateful for the encouragement and support I received in doing so from clients, family and business colleagues.  Without your ongoing support Miller Attorneys would not be what it is today.  And thus when we mix the ingredients mentioned above with a healthy dose of risk, then the reward we receive will be every moment it's worth as my little creature discovered when he bit me multiple times.  Fortunately for me I learned from my mistakes, I too kept going and my reward was the eventual slamming of him on my leg which gave me the chance to complete this blog with a bit of advice, "find something that you love and cherish and persistently work towards it without hesitation and never thinking about giving up and then when the time comes to make it happen, have the courage to take the risk and I guarantee you that the reward will eventually take care of itself.

"Boy You Must be Tripping"

Golf has a wonderful way of teaching you 2 things about life - attitude and practice.  As I watched my son teeing off today, I remembered that attitude is not spelt with the first letter of the alphabet for nothing.  It is one of the most important things we need to have both in life, work and relationships.  It is in my opinion a fundamental to success in every shape and form.  It determines how we tackle a problem, how we maintain our relationships in life and it helps other people understand and respond to us when we interact with them. Our country has a youth that suffers from an attitude of instant gratification and the need to have their wants and desires satisfied immediately.  They often portray an attitude of entitlement, as though the world and in some cases, their history owes them something, for nothing.  But life teaches, that nothing comes to those who do not exercise an attitude of success and achievement, without continual practice.  My son asked me why he cant hit the ball as well as his old man (and I have to be honest it feels great to still have a few things in life, where I am still able to hold my own for now) and the only defining issue I could think of, was the practice I put in as a young boy.  It led me to think that I have already been practising my chosen profession for close on 20 years and although I have not perfected it by any stretch, I do see that the practice has given me a changed attitude to where I would like my next few years to count.  I hope to be able to teach my children and indeed other young people, the art of practising their attitude and I have no doubt that if more time were spent on the youth of today dedicating time and effort to this cause, then we could see a next generation of South Africans, that do not expect to "receive" from a previous disadvantaged past, but rather devote their life (practice) to an attitude of accomplishment and a desire to make this country successful.  It starts with education and this leads to trades, industry, the economy and a general respect for life, which is sorely lacking in our society.  I hope my practice of property law and development leads me to greatness (not necessarily financial) but certainly, to leave a legacy befitting of the makers mantle of, "well done thy good and faithful servant".  Hope your attitude leads you also to be the best you can be in your sphere of influence - so go for it!

Whats the weather doing?

This seems to be the most important question on my family's minds as we decide what to do on our second day of holiday.  So often we have expectations of things to come and yet they turn out a bit like the forecast of the weather.  My mobile app today guaranteed me that it would be overcast with a maximum of 19 and here I am sweltering on the beach at 10:30 in the morning with no clouds and a temp of 25.  Sometimes I think the expectations are not as important as the outcome and we are better focusing on the achievables in life rather than how we think and presume things will turn out.  I for one have had little success with presumptions and they have always caused me to regret what I thought would be the outcome.  I believe that we can all spend more time on the present and how we utilise the time and blessings we have been given.  People have lost businesses and money due to presumptions and relationships have suffered, because we think that our spouse, friend or sibling is going to act in a way that they never even contemplated.  I am learning to not read into what I think may be the outcome and rather listen more, so that the presumption is turned into an understanding of trends, feelings and desires.  For example a few years ago I built my dream home and then sold it due to the fact that I could not justify the cost of upkeep and with a busy lifestyle I found little time to enjoy it and I presumed that I had failed, because I could not afford the house based on my income.  Turns out, that a number of other people have since confessed that they too do not see the merit in owning a massive property and expending their entire and hard earned income on rates, taxes and services.  It is certainly time to cut back on the flagrant lifestyles of old and focus rather on the importance of family, friends and a purpose, which God has given you for the future.  Do not succomb to the materialism that surrounds us, but rather try to live outwardly towards an eternal future.  Follow His ways and your paths will be straight and lead you to an enjoyable future.  Find your peace today and enjoy the weather.

Owning a Second Property can be a "beach". 19/12/14

The year is finally drawing to a close and I am enjoying the first day of a long awaited holiday.  But in reality these are tough times in our country and just looking around at the challenges we face, it would be wise to dwell on the things we have and are able to afford, such as basic services, fuel and clothing.  Our currency has taken a pounding, or even more precise a "dollaring"  in the last few days and this will surely affect our holiday spending with price adjustments being made in certain sectors already, to accommodate the down turn.  Just now I was down at the small cafe at the beach and looking at posters of  houses for sale, which tells a story of prices, which have moved up very little in the last few years.  The market in the "beach house" category seems very suppressed and it would seem that it takes very long to sell a property, unless the right buyer brings cash to the table.  Disposable income seems to be very limited and buying a second house at the sea appears to be a stretch for most South Africans.  The cost of maintaining and running a second household looks more and more expensive, especially due to the high costs of electricity, rates and taxes (although it must be said that the service being provided by these parastatals does not warrant that the consumer should pay for anything at present).  I am an advocate that one should render "unto Caesar what is Caesar's, but this country lives from the premise that you keep paying more and more, but you simply get less service and certainly no maintenance.  Every holiday home needs to be maintained and serviced in order to keep and grow it's value and the lesson I learnt today at the beach is that unless government starts to maintain and look after its infrastructure, the people that own houses, will also begin to stagnate and refuse to pay for the lack of service and this will further negatively impact the general outlook for investors.  It is good for our country when people buy second homes and try to grow their personal wealth in their own country.  It brings a belief in the services and structures and it leaves people positive and excited about the future.  I hope that in a few years, I will be standing again looking at the prices along the beach and smiling that there has been growth and development in the property sector and that it is underpinned by service delivery and support from government, which is after all its role and not that of a greedy gravy train, milking its way to the next generation.  All the best and enjoy the holidays.